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[Humour] Limericks Are Fun



sydney

tinky ****in winky
Jul 11, 2003
18,148
town full of eejits
there once was a whore from berlin
who had an enourmous quim
it wasn't the size that attracted the flies
but the jelly that hung from the rim.
 




Eeyore

Munching grass in Queen's Park
NSC Patron
Apr 5, 2014
28,173
It's fifteen minutes to three,
I'm so drunk that I can't see,
But I'll wait for the match thread
from our very own Dick Head,
Then go for my fiftieth pee.
 


B-right-on

Living the dream
Apr 23, 2015
6,899
Shoreham Beaaaach
There's this chap called Bloom, who knew how to play poker like a Prince

He met Boehly, and thought "I'm sure a quarter of a Billion I can rinse"

So he sold him Caicedo for a hell of a lot

And got all the cash for the pot

Plus a manager and others for more as a bet

Only we could wind up that Astrid Wett.
 


Midget

Amexgemeinschaftsstadionhallebierschluckerinchen
Aug 16, 2015
1,217
Lurking
There once was an up-himself prick
Who gave the officials some stick
As he got more irate
Their sarnies they ate
Which made him look more of a dick
 


Midget

Amexgemeinschaftsstadionhallebierschluckerinchen
Aug 16, 2015
1,217
Lurking
There once was a geezer named Poch
Whose players had him by the crotch
They signed for 8 years
Then sat back and drank beers
And all he could do was just watch
 




Midget

Amexgemeinschaftsstadionhallebierschluckerinchen
Aug 16, 2015
1,217
Lurking
A fiery young guy called Roberto
Had his team playing like a concerto
"We play out from the back
And go all-out attack
And my wingers, I like to invert, no?"
 




Midget

Amexgemeinschaftsstadionhallebierschluckerinchen
Aug 16, 2015
1,217
Lurking
A soft-spoken Aussie called Ange
Was so chilled people thought he smoked gange
He said "nah, what I do, mate,
I like a good brew, mate,
I also get plenty of flange"
 






Midget

Amexgemeinschaftsstadionhallebierschluckerinchen
Aug 16, 2015
1,217
Lurking
A piss-taking red-and-blue bore
Fell again and again to the floor
He howled he'd been fouled
But the ref only scowled
And called him a gravity whore




I'll take requests
(including to shut up)
 






albionalba

Football with optimism
NSC Patron
Aug 31, 2023
419
Not where I want
Today we took on the Blades
At last a clean sheet we made
And five goals as well
A performance quite swell
Yet somehow our fears weren't allayed
 




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