Joke

[Simster]

This made me chuckle. I'll admit, not insanely and for lots of minutes, but sufficiently to warrant sharing it with you twats.





I met a FAIRY today who granted me one wish. "I want to live forever", I said.
"Sorry" said the fairy. "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that"
"Fine" I said. "I want to die when England win the world cup"
"ooh you crafty bastard!" said the fairy.

 

[Hiney]

 

[The Brighton Bear]

 

[Braders]

fairy good

 

[Evil Edna]

LOL'D at that.

 

[Colossal Squid]

I don't know whether the underrated build up made it better BUT I thought that was good and I shall be repeating it

 

[mcshane in the 79th]

The understated build up definitely helps. Raised a smile

 

[Bean]

Shall be repeated

 

[bhaexpress]

Well worth a snigger

 

[empire]

text to the rounds then

 

[8ace]

A dyslexic friend of mine at the World Cup has been arrested for trying to blow a zulu's vulva.
:vuvu2:

 

[Marc]

so THATS where Caveman got his FB status from!!

 

[Durlston]

Fast forward to 2014

-it is just before England v Brazil at the next World Cup Group game. Robinho goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his teammates looking a bit glum.
"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only England. They're rubbish and we can't be bothered".

Robinho looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."

So Robinho goes out to play England by himself and the rest of the Brazilian team go off for a few jars.

After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "Brazil 1 - England 0 (Robinho 10minutes)". He is beating England all by himself!

Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten by someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on.

"result from the Stadium "Brazil 1 (Robinho 10minutes) - England 1 (Walcott 89minutes)".

They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against England!! They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands.

He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down."

"Don't be daft, you got a draw against England, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very, very end!"

"No, No, I have, I've let you down...

I got sent off after 12 minutes"

 

[matthew]

 

[The Peanut Roaster]

Fast forward to 2014

-it is just before England v Brazil at the next World Cup Group game. Robinho goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his teammates looking a bit glum.
"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only England. They're rubbish and we can't be bothered".

Robinho looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."

So Robinho goes out to play England by himself and the rest of the Brazilian team go off for a few jars.

After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "Brazil 1 - England 0 (Robinho 10minutes)". He is beating England all by himself!

Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten by someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on.

"result from the Stadium "Brazil 1 (Robinho 10minutes) - England 1 (Walcott 89minutes)".

They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against England!! They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands.

He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down."

"Don't be daft, you got a draw against England, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very, very end!"

"No, No, I have, I've let you down...

I got sent off after 12 minutes"

 

[Stumpy Tim]

Fast forward to 2014

-it is just before England v Brazil at the next World Cup Group game. Robinho goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his teammates looking a bit glum.
"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only England. They're rubbish and we can't be bothered".

Robinho looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."

So Robinho goes out to play England by himself and the rest of the Brazilian team go off for a few jars.

After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "Brazil 1 - England 0 (Robinho 10minutes)". He is beating England all by himself!

Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten by someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on.

"result from the Stadium "Brazil 1 (Robinho 10minutes) - England 1 (Walcott 89minutes)".

They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against England!! They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands.

He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down."

"Don't be daft, you got a draw against England, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very, very end!"

"No, No, I have, I've let you down...

I got sent off after 12 minutes"

It's a good joke but it's very old (with names changed obviously)

 

[Jamie_Seagull]

What will Postman Pat be known as when he retires?




Pat













I know. Its poor, but hey, it made me chuckle

 

[TWOCHOICEStom]

actual LOL

 

[Simster]

Fast forward to 2014

If you're going to fast forward 4 years and then recycle old jokes then so am I:


I met a FAIRY today who granted me one wish. "I want to live forever", I said.
"Sorry" said the fairy. "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that"
"Fine" I said. "I want to die when Scotland next qualify for a major tournament"
"ooh you crafty bastard!" said the fairy.

 

[Tricky Dicky]

It's a good joke but it's very old (with names changed obviously)

It may be old, but it got a laugh from me.