Joke Time

[bigjon]

little johnny is in geography class when the teacher asks him, where is pakistan. he replies, outside playing with paki-dave

 

[Samej]

Courtesy of Sean Lock on last nights Ch 4 gala:

How do you stop the embarrassment of dog humping your leg?...................Pick it up and suck its cock!

That joke was being told when Sean Lock was still in his dads bollox

 

[Hastings woody]

How do palace fans know if their sister is on.? Their dads dick tastes funny.

 

[Bry Nylon]

I was woken up last night by some noise outside, i looked out of my bedroom window and to my horror, i saw 4 palarse fans using a hedgehog as a football, i was shocked and about to call the RSPCA when the hedgehog went 1 up

I like that joke, but the set-up line should be "...and to my horror I saw 4 Palace fans playing football with a hedgehog..."

Works better that way.

 

[Sompting_Seagull]

i was chatting to a bird in a bar last night, i said 'you remind me of my little toe'
'is it because i'm small and cute' she asked.

'no' i repied, 'its because i'll probably end up banging you on the coffee table'

 

[Questions]

In deference to The Archbishop of Canterbury and The Royal Commission for Political Correctness, it was announced today that the local climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as ... 'English Weather'.

Rather than offend a sizeable portion of the population,
it will now be referred to as 'Muslim Weather'.

In other words -- 'partly Sunni, but mostly Shi'ite'..