[Humour] Joke du jour

[essbee1]

I have a pet termite.

I called him Clint

Clint Eats wood.

Take it our leave it.

<I'll get me coat.>

 

[Is it PotG?]

The Wood, the Gnat ant The Ugly.

 

[Simster]

I was in the bank the other day when an old woman asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

 

[Is it PotG?]

I was in the bank the other day when an old woman asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

Any bank employee being so cruel would, and should, be disciplined and dismissed.

 

[Questions]

You’ll run The Gauntlet with shit jokes mate .

 

[Psychobilly freakout]

just got back from the shops, I was looking for a pair of camouflage pants, but I couldn't find any.

 

[Simster]

Any bank employee being so cruel would, and should, be disciplined and dismissed.

I'm not a bank employee.

Maybe you should ask why she actually asked me to check her balance rather than the people behind the counter.

Although to be honest, I didn't even go to the bank the other day. I made it up.

 

[Is it PotG?]

just got back from the shops, I was looking for a pair of camouflage pants, but I couldn't find any.

There are some in Boundary Road, I saw them earlier.

 

[Is it PotG?]

I'm not a bank employee.

Maybe you should ask why she actually asked me to check her balance rather than the people behind the counter.

Although to be honest, I didn't even go to the bank the other day. I made it up.

I see.

 

[HeaviestTed]

Why didn’t the school kids take the bus to school? It wouldn’t fit through the door.

 

[W3D]

Nostalgia........it's not what it used to be

 

[schmunk]

Although to be honest, I didn't even go to the bank the other day. I made it up.

I went to the bank yesterday, then walked across to another bank. I got wet feet.



THEY WERE RIVER BANKS!!!

 

[AmexRuislip]

I have a pet termite.

I called him Clint

Clint Eats wood.

Take it our leave it.

<I'll get me coat.>

I think you'll end up in Woodworm Scrubs after that attempt.

 

[schmunk]

I think you'll end up in Woodworm Scrubs after that attempt.

Certainly belongs in the penitantiary.

 

[Mr Bridger]

I recently applied for a job at a chemical factory. The manager asked me, "What do you know about nitrates?"

"Well, I'm hoping it's time and a half."

 

[METALMICKY]

I heard there were a bunch of break-ins over at the multi storey. That is wrong on so many levels!

 

[Is it PotG?]

I heard there were a bunch of break-ins over at the multi storey. That is wrong on so many levels!

Which car park was this?

I was parked in Brighton earlier.

 

[1066familyman]

I have a pet Newt.
I call him Tiny.
Because he's my Newt.

 

[Is it PotG?]

I have a pet Newt.
I call him Tiny.
Because he's my Newt.

Do you have ownership documents?

 

[Bodian]

I have a pet termite.

I called him Clint

Clint Eats wood.

Take it our leave it.

<I'll get me coat.>

When you take him out to a restaurant - do you ask for a 'table for two'?