Joke du jour

[Icy Gull]

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken is leaning against the headboard
smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face.

The egg, looking a bit frustrated and angry,
grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says,

"Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

 

[Titanic]

<rather scruffy looking bloke pops his head round the door>

Taxi for Mr Gull ?

 

[Icy Gull]

That went down like a famous Ocean Liner then

 

[Titanic]

 

[maffew]

An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "what'll you have?"
The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please."
So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more.
The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one."
The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together.
The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition.
Every week the man came in and ordered three beers. Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more.
The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died."
The man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine----I just quit drinking."