Joke du jour

[Fourteenth Eye]

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect,

they end up leaving together.

> > > > >

They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his

apartment and she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet

cuddly teddy bears.

> > > > >

Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the

floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher,

and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.

The woman is surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy

bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she decides not to

mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive

side.

> > > > >

She turns to him... they kiss... and then they rip each other's

clothes off and make hot steamy love.

> > > > >

After an intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, they

are lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and

asks, smiling,

> > > > > "Well, how was it?"

> > > > >

The guy says ............

_

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> > > > > (scroll down it's a beauty)

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> > > > > "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."

 

[bhaexpress]

As ripped from the pages of Maxim magazine.

 

[Kinky Gerbil]

 

[Wozza]

Joke du 1998.

 

[Fourteenth Eye]

ooh the sarcasm...i love it

 

[chips and gravy]

Two college friends were attending the end of term ball.

"Suzy wants to go out to my car. She's such a babe," one boy said. "I'm really nervous. I know I'll cock it up!"

"Take it easy," his friend assured him. "All you got to do is compliment her. Girls love to be complimented. You'll have her in the palm of your hand."

About a half-hour later the young man came back, rubbing a black eye.

"Shit, man! What happened to you?!" his buddy asked.

"I took your advice."

"Didn't you compliment her?"

"Sure I did. We got in my car and started kissing. I told her that for such full lips, hers sure tasted sweet. She liked that. After a while I started feeling her tits, and I told her that for such large breasts they sure were firm. She like that too."

"It sounds like you were doing great," his friend said.

"Well," the other answered, "that's when everything went wrong. I got her dress up and her panties off, and I tried to think of another compliment."

"What did you say?"

"For such a large crack, it doesn't stink much."

 

[Northstander]

 

[Bombardier]

Maw,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha. Best one I have heard for ages. Top notch!

 

[Norman Baker suck my lozenge]

Four Essex girls are tragically killed in a freak peddalo accident in Ibiza.
On arrival at the Pearly Gates God stops them.
"You Michelle ,have You touched any male genitals recently?"
"Well yes I stroked one the other day"
God " Then wash your fingers in the holy water and proceed."
Next ones up,
"You Candice,have You touched any male genitals recently?"
"Well yes I gave some geezer a hand shandy."
God"Then wash Your hands and proceed."
At this point all hell breaks loose and Tracey comes rushing to the front.
God"What on earth is the rush?,You have all eternity,wait Your turn."
Tracey pipes up,
"I wanna wash me mouth out in that water before Shaz washes Her arse in it"
DA DA DA DA DUM DUM TSSSHHHH.

 

[smudge]

Nice one Stubbsy!!!