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[Humour] Joke de Jour



shingle

Well-known member
Jan 18, 2004
3,146
Lewes
A Penguin is driving his car and it breaks down, so he takes it to the local garage for a repair. Meanwhile he walks off whilst the garage has a look at it, he has a 99 ice cream and returns to the garage some time later for an update, he sticks his head around the corner and says to the mechanic ''is everything ok'' to which the mechanic says no, you've just blown a seal, to which the Penguin says, no, it's me ice cream.
 






SweatyMexican

Well-known member
Mar 31, 2013
4,104
99 ice cream? I remember the days. They're about a fiver now.
 










TugWilson

I gotta admit that I`m a little bit confused
Dec 8, 2020
1,500
Dorset
One of my favourite jokes ruined ......ahhemm..if i may .

An Eskimo on a camping holiday in Wales and his camper van breaks down , along comes a local who ask`s if he needs help , the local after a couple of minutes inspecting the engine looks at the Eskimo and say`s you`ve blown a seal , without missing a beat the Eskimo replies and you shag sheep !
 


South Stand Bonfire

Who lit that match then?
NSC Patron
Jan 24, 2009
2,227
Shoreham-a-la-mer
99 ice cream? I remember the days. They're about a fiver now.
I don’t understand how the penguin would be able to drive a car, given that it’s backbone is such that it would be impossible for it to sit and reach the pedals at the same time. I don’t therefore believe this incident happened.
 








GT49er

Well-known member
Feb 1, 2009
47,014
Gloucester
99 ice cream? I remember the days. They're about a fiver now.
Don't talk to me about f*kc*n' 99s! I invented them - and got beaten up by other kids for my trouble.......
"Ugh, he's stuck a chocolate bar into hs ice cream cone - he's a weirdo - he's different - beat him up......."
Life in Polegate in the mid 50s was pretty brutal!
 




Jack Straw

I look nothing like him!
Jul 7, 2003
6,915
Brighton. NOT KEMPTOWN!
I don’t understand how the penguin would be able to drive a car, given that it’s backbone is such that it would be impossible for it to sit and reach the pedals at the same time. I don’t therefore believe this incident happened.
Exactly. And even if the penguin's feet did reach the pedals, how would he grip the steering-wheel with those flappy wing things, never mind turn on the ignition.
 


GT49er

Well-known member
Feb 1, 2009
47,014
Gloucester
Exactly. And even if the penguin's feet did reach the pedals, how would he grip the steering-wheel with those flappy wing things, never mind turn on the ignition.
They can do some pretty impressive conversion for the ability challenged these days. I have first hand knowledge of a van driver with no arms. It was 20 years ago, but he was certainly doing a good job back then - maybe still is.
 


South Stand Bonfire

Who lit that match then?
NSC Patron
Jan 24, 2009
2,227
Shoreham-a-la-mer
They can do some pretty impressive conversion for the ability challenged these days. I have first hand knowledge of a van driver with no arms. It was 20 years ago, but he was certainly doing a good job back then - maybe still is.
I knew someone with no arms or legs who used to do long distance swimming. He was a clever dick.
 




Jack Straw

I look nothing like him!
Jul 7, 2003
6,915
Brighton. NOT KEMPTOWN!
They can do some pretty impressive conversion for the ability challenged these days. I have first hand knowledge of a van driver with no arms. It was 20 years ago, but he was certainly doing a good job back then - maybe still is.
They can indeed, but where would a penguin get the money from to pay for the conversion, or would they qualify for a grant?
 




Bodian

Well-known member
May 3, 2012
12,207
Cumbria
He was a very unlucky penguin. Most times seals fail in cars, it just leads to a loss of power - not a breakdown.
 


hart's shirt

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2003
10,275
Kitbag in Dubai
It's quite true.

I heard it from a reliable source.

 




Zeberdi

Brighton born & bred
NSC Patron
Oct 20, 2022
4,976
I don’t understand how the penguin would be able to drive a car, given that it’s backbone is such that it would be impossible for it to sit and reach the pedals at the same time. I don’t therefore believe this incident happened.

It’s all about the teamwork



as RDZ would say …

 




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