I've done a POO in my SHED

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

We shit in our shed
We shit in our she-e-ed
We are the Albion
We shit in our shed.

 

[severnside gull]

Driving down through Belgium last week we passed a sign for PLOPALAND adventure park. Planning a detour visit next time we are that way

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Driving down through Belgium last week we passed a sign for PLOPALAND adventure park. Planning a detour visit next time we are that way

Sounds shit.

 

[marshy68]

Was out walking the dog as usual, then felt a twitching in the buttocks signalling that I was approaching Dresden. Was about 10 minutes from home so no problems, and thought that when I arrived home it would have brewed for the right time for a quality dump.

Arrived home, realised I had locked myself out, and wife would not be home for an hour. I initially thought this would be no issue, but my arse was not taking no for an answer, and within a few minutes I was in that slightly awkward hopping mode that indicates you have a mole at the counter.

Therefore in desperation, I raided the bin for a piece of cardboard, popped into my SHED, dropped my trolleys, assumed the Johnny Wilkinson penalty position and curled out an enormous DOUGLAS, which left my buttocks like an otter off a riverbank, and made a very satisfying 'splat' when it his the target. I was nervously looking out of the shed window in case the neighbours saw me, but fortunately there was no sign of them.

I'm sure we have all done spectacular PLOPS in our time, but their magnitude is usually lost as half or more of them slides round the U-bend in the khazi. This was a prize specimen, a huge brown trout that had I laid it in the bog would have been a triple flushed, and possible call to the coastguard to give a warning to shipping of an imminent brownberg. I felt so proud I nearly gave it a name, but decided against.

I did of course fold up the cardboard wrapping and put it in the bin (not the recycling one) before resuming awaiting the return of the wife.

It's okay, you don't need to thank me for sharing x

Is this a delayed confession - so where were you on the 13 May 2013

 

[Raleigh Chopper]

I hope you did not forget to put a lolly stick in it before you vacated the shed.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

Tell your mrs you are staging a dirty protest in there until Albion win.

 

[sydney]

i shit in my pants on the golf course on sunday...!

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

i shit in my pants on the golf course on sunday...!

Not on the green I hope! You'll get your membership revoked.

 

[Brighton TID]

Was out walking the dog as usual, then felt a twitching in the buttocks signalling that I was approaching Dresden. Was about 10 minutes from home so no problems, and thought that when I arrived home it would have brewed for the right time for a quality dump.

Arrived home, realised I had locked myself out, and wife would not be home for an hour. I initially thought this would be no issue, but my arse was not taking no for an answer, and within a few minutes I was in that slightly awkward hopping mode that indicates you have a mole at the counter.

Therefore in desperation, I raided the bin for a piece of cardboard, popped into my SHED, dropped my trolleys, assumed the Johnny Wilkinson penalty position and curled out an enormous DOUGLAS, which left my buttocks like an otter off a riverbank, and made a very satisfying 'splat' when it his the target. I was nervously looking out of the shed window in case the neighbours saw me, but fortunately there was no sign of them.

I'm sure we have all done spectacular PLOPS in our time, but their magnitude is usually lost as half or more of them slides round the U-bend in the khazi. This was a prize specimen, a huge brown trout that had I laid it in the bog would have been a triple flushed, and possible call to the coastguard to give a warning to shipping of an imminent brownberg. I felt so proud I nearly gave it a name, but decided against.

I did of course fold up the cardboard wrapping and put it in the bin (not the recycling one) before resuming awaiting the return of the wife.

It's okay, you don't need to thank me for sharing x

I would question your choice of botty wiping material. Surely the cardboard 'spread' rather than 'wiped' and possibly 'chafed' too?

 

[El Presidente]

I would question your choice of botty wiping material. Surely the cardboard 'spread' rather than 'wiped' and possibly 'chafed' too?

Fortunately the PLOP was an 'ace' that left my rusty sheriff's badge as clean as a butler's cutlery drawer, and there were no winnets or brown spiders to report.

 

[Box of Frogs]

This is a shit thread.

 

[symyjym]

Should have got your dog to dispose of it for you.

 

[TWOCHOICEStom]

approaching Dresden.

a mole at the counter.

curled out an enormous DOUGLAS

like an otter off a riverbank

a huge brown trout

an imminent brownberg

Curled out a chocolate log

'strangling a darkie.'

my rusty sheriff's badge'

as clean as a butler's cutlery drawer'

 

[Papa Lazarou]

Do you not carry dog poo bags with you when walking the dog?

 

[TWOCHOICEStom]

Do you not carry dog poo bags with you when walking the dog?

This is a very good point. I'd say though, my biggest unanswered question in this case, is to ask what happened to the unavoidable post-poo wee?

 

[Brighton TID]

Fortunately the PLOP was an 'ace' that left my rusty sheriff's badge as clean as a butler's cutlery drawer, and there were no winnets or brown spiders to report.

mmm, not sure I fully believe you, surely there was the smallest hint of poo residue gone unnoticed? I would say that it is a physical impossiblilty to jettison even the best formed, hardened log through a snug passageway without some bowel-lube transfer also taking place.

 

[Easy 10]

So its not so much a shed, more a LOG CABIN.

 

[Frampler]

Six more turds and it will be Shed Seven.

 

[BlockDpete]

Time to put facilities in the shed?

I had a desperate need to drop the kids off a few miles into the Hastings Half Marathon a few years ago, stomach cramps and all.

Went behind a bush, and what emerged developed into more of a cow pat.......