Insults...

[John Dorian]

I just got called a "piece of confetti"...quite random, didnt really land as well as theyd planned as I pissed myself laughing... any idea what it actually means ?

What other "insults" do you have/have you been called that are shithouse ?

 

[Ditchboy]

I just got called a stupid wanker. Any ideas?

 

[xenophon]

When I was 15 me and my mates were kicked off a caravan site for pissing about, drinking etc.

My mate's mum, who's a nice religious lady, was giving us a ticking off when we got home. She was incandescent with rage, and that was making us giggle even more. She glared at me and said the worst thing she could possibly muster:

"I don't know what you're laughing at, you think you're so smart don't you? Well, one of these days you'll, you'll.....get your teeth put up through your hair!"

That was it, off the sofa and on the deck in a boneless mess of howling laughter, f***ing still makes me laugh and we still talk about it today when we meet up again for a pint.

 

[withdeanwombat]

Oh,the days of having teeth and hair.Great times.

 

[Taybha]

ive always found the question "do you want a smack in the mouth pal or what " quite funny,anybody that says that you can pretty much gaurantee is full of shit and would have just done it if they was going to.

 

[JJ McClure]

I got call a numbskull once, which I don't think have ever been used other than in the Beano

 

[Box of Frogs]

When I was 15 me and my mates were kicked off a caravan site for pissing about, drinking etc.

My mate's mum, who's a nice religious lady, was giving us a ticking off when we got home. She was incandescent with rage, and that was making us giggle even more. She glared at me and said the worst thing she could possibly muster:

"I don't know what you're laughing at, you think you're so smart don't you? Well, one of these days you'll, you'll.....get your teeth put up through your hair!"

That was it, off the sofa and on the deck in a boneless mess of howling laughter, f***ing still makes me laugh and we still talk about it today when we meet up again for a pint.

You still meet up with your mates Mum for a pint? Quality!!

 

[xenophon]

ive always found the question "do you want a smack in the mouth pal or what " quite funny,anybody that says that you can pretty much gaurantee is full of shit and would have just done it if they was going to.

Ha! Billy Connolly does a brilliant joke about that. When someone asks you that do they expect you to answer "Yes please, I'd love one, and what's more, I'll have a swift kick in the balls too if you're offering" It's like they're offering you something good, like a bite of their burger, or a go on their sister or something. Illogical.

 

[xenophon]

You still meet up with your mates Mum for a pint? Quality!!

Yes, that exchange with the 15-year-old version of me was so traumatizing for her it turned her into an alcoholic, she gave up the good book and took up the bottle

Amen to that

 

[vegster]

I once heard someone described as " Having Delusions of Adaquacy "

 

[xenophon]

My little brother used to follow me around as a nipper copying everything I did, it used to wind me up no end. I would say to him "Monkey see, monkey do!" when he lifted something after me or whatever "I'm not a monkey!!!" he'd shout and get into me with fists flying in a right tantrum.

He was a bit older and one day I did something after him, I can't remember what it was. He looks at me, with years of waiting to say it back to me reflected in his beady little eyes. He takes a deep, proud breath and blurts out "Ha! monkey.....do.....er, monkey look?" Completely f***ed it up, the little twat. He went for me again as I shouted "Monkey do, monkey f***ing look? What the f*** does that mean?" while rolling about the floor again, wetting myself.

I still rag him for it, and he's married with three kids.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

ive always found the question "do you want a smack in the mouth pal or what " quite funny,anybody that says that you can pretty much gaurantee is full of shit and would have just done it if they was going to.

I inadvertently hit shoulders with a pleb, circa 1996, and he asked me 'Do you want a bottle in your face, mate?'. As much as I would like to be bottled, I regretfully and politely declined his kind offer. I am wondering if anyone has responded in the affirmative to that sort of conundrum?

 

[Garage_Doors]

Ive always been puzzled by, "do one". do one what !
how is it an insult ? what does it mean

 

[West Hoathly Seagull]

I was told to "beat it" in true Nesbit style in a Fort William pub car park by a Glaswegian when I was on holiday in the Highlands. I was just wandering bored around the car park waiting for the coach and he thought I was casing his car. I retreated fairly quickly, not fancying a Glasgow sandwich, but fell about laughing once I was back on the coach.

One of my gran's little gems was to say, "remember I've got that wet cloth in the kitchen".