Idea's for new television programmes.

[El Presidente]

Paedophility Challenge

Quiz show fronted by Jeremy Paxman. Four nonces from a prisons are given general knowledge questions and are awarded points for correct answers.

Unfortunately the show failed to catch on after an outbreak of mass ************ by the assorted fiddlers in the pilot episode the first time Paxman said "Your starter for ten"

 

[Jim Van Winkle]

The A-Porn-Tice:

12 budding female porn stars do weekly tasks and challenges. The winner gets to make a movie with Jenna Jameson.

 

[red star portslade]

" I did Nazi that coming " - Hidden camera pranks on the Jewish community.

 

[Seagull kimchi]

Sexdoll Wife swop = Everyday wives are replaced by synthetic f*** dolls for a fortnight to see if their husbands enjoy a more fulfilling sex life despite starving and drowning in dust and soiled tissues.

 

[Seagull kimchi]

Top Gear - Angus Deayton and Micheal Barrymore come to blows over who can get the best nosecandy.

 

[father_and_son]

"I'm a celebrity, let me in here" - a hidden camera show screened in front of a live audience following a group of unsuspecting z-list celebrities arguing with bouncers, doormen, restaurant managers and others about whether they can gain access to various venues for free/without waiting/without booking. Every time someone shouts "Do you know you I am?", the audience are required to shout back at the screen "who?".

 

[Buzzer]

My mate thought of a good one a few years back. It's called "Park In My Son" where Michael Parkinson invites guests to park in his son.

 

[JeryRoyo03]

The activity of the animal beings has become acutely active everywhere on this earth. Bodies do not get time to booty a blow for a while. With the accretion use of altered gadgets of Gps Jammer, the possibilities of accepting the aboriginal of blow accept absolutely finished. The adaptable phones or the corpuscle phones are some of these accessories that accumulate the bodies consistently in blow with the alfresco world. The adaptable building are additionally accessible about everywhere these canicule and due to this the accessibility of the phone blocker has become alike added quick and authentic. Today, you cannot break out of ability of these adaptable building as their signals can bolt your about anywhere. The bearings of bodies who accord to altered business professions has become actual analytical of wifi jammer as their authorities bolt them anywhere any moment.

 

[keaton]

Joddlebox
People are filmed sitting at home watching Gogglebox talking about what a bunch of wankers they all are

 

[Papa Lazarou]

Youve Been Framed - a light hearted look at the operations of the West Midlands Police in the 1980s.

 

[Papa Lazarou]

Supermarket Sweep - Matthew Corbett, with his right hand stuffed into a glove puppet goes shopping at Waitrose ... with hilarious consequences.

 

[Prince Monolulu]

A 'Shirley Temple' coiffured prentious public school tw@t, vertically challenged immature child and slightly dim floppy haired stooge try out various levels of narcotics and grade them out of 100.

Give it a 70's jangly guitar theme and Bob's yer uncle.

 

[Monkey Man]

"You've Been Farmed". Hilarious mishaps from the world of intensive agriculture, caught on CCTV.

 

[Goldstone1976]

"You've Been Farmed". Hilarious mishaps from the world of intensive agriculture, caught on CCTV.

"You've Been Harmed". A six-part docu-drama following the exploits of a dim-witted, accident-prone member of Little Mix. Episode 1: Chardonnay goes to a pet store and pets the anaconda. Episode 2: Chardonnay visits a timber mill. Episode 3: Chardonnay goes for a walk on a rifle range. Episode 4: Chardonnay goes mushrooming. Episode 5: Chardonnay re-wires her bedsit. Episode 6: Chardonnay *sings" GOSBTS in the centre circle before a home game at the AMEX.

Regrettably, the programme isn't re-commisioned for a second season due to dismally low viewing figures.

 

[Hiney]

'Gash in the Attic'

David Dickensen scours the country, looking for long lost protitutes, hidden in the lofts of country homes, suburban semis and inner city terraces.

I think it's a goer.

 

[Hiney]

'Snatch of the Day'

Gary Lineker tours the country with his ninja shot camera. The best ones are shown in all their glory (holes) at 10.30 on a Saturday night.

 

[TSB]

An Idiot, A Broad

Retrospective featuring archive footage of the whirlwind relationship between Peter Andre & Jordan.

Fart Attack

A group of people find new and unusual places to deposit their odour onto the general public.

Holmes under the Hammer - Eamonn Holmes meets Peter sutcliffe

That Is Way Out Of Order: a tour of the country's vending machines, talking on the way to the brave men and women tasked with refilling and maintaining them. Contains scenes of a sexual nature.

"You've Been Farmed". Hilarious mishaps from the world of intensive agriculture, caught on CCTV.

Make it happen.

 

[symyjym]

"You've Been Harmed". A six-part docu-drama following the exploits of a dim-witted, accident-prone member of Little Mix. Episode 1: Chardonnay goes to a pet store and pets the anaconda. Episode 2: Chardonnay visits a timber mill. Episode 3: Chardonnay goes for a walk on a rifle range. Episode 4: Chardonnay goes mushrooming. Episode 5: Chardonnay re-wires her bedsit. Episode 6: Chardonnay *sings" GOSBTS in the centre circle before a home game at the AMEX.

Regrettably, the programme isn't re-commisioned for a second season due to dismally low viewing figures.

Not bad but the title of the show should be "You’ve Been Maimed".

 

[Guy Fawkes]

2nd gear - a frustrated Jeremy Clarkson has to test drive top of the range sports cars but exclusively within the 20mph zones in our inner cities and is not allowed to break the speed limit

 

[Guy Fawkes]

That's life - A show where public opinion is used to convict and the determine the length of the prison sentance handed out for criminals or suspected criminals

Holby city - A fly on the wall documentary following model train set enthusiasts