Idea's for new television programmes.

[happypig]

Stone Me!
Two people stand a few yards apart and take turns to throw stones at the other. First one to give up loses.

Auction Smashing
A gullible idiot stands outside his own house and is offered increasing sums of money. Each time he refuses, Ross Kemp brings one of his possessions out and smashes it up.

 

[rouseytastic]

'Bloke or Bird'

Contestants need to work out if the person is a bloke or in fact a very minging female (and vice versa). The person will have to dress as both sexes to make it harder to guess.

 

[Norman Potting]

Big brother - unknown to the idiot contestants, it is not shown on tv, not filmed and when a person leaves, the remaining contestants hear 1 shot from a shotgun.

I think it would be excellent, wannabees spending 3 months in a house thinking millions are watching.

I think Armando Iannucci did just this in one of his "Friday Night Armistice" shows (not the shotgun bit). Good to see Meade's Ball in usual deranged (in a good way) form.

 

[SouthCoastOwl]

Strictly cum dancing

No description needed, use your imagination.

 

[5Ways Gull]

Don Cole is a tough US Marshall in a rough district in a brand new series of Coles Law...Oh hang on

 

[5Ways Gull]

Ladies of a fuller figure participating in syncopation in a slightly uncompromising manner in Comely Strict Dancing

 

[symyjym]

Gunshots aside, I seem to remember channel 4 running something similar about 10 years ago, where contestants thought they were training for a space mission and thought they were actually in space. In fact, they were in a TV studio the whole time. I only member seeing the first episode, but the contestants were clearly not the sharpest brains Britain had to offer.

Yeah that was awful, the excuse to the contestants of why they weren't floating about, was that building a zero gravity space ship required more expensive technology.

 

[SouthCoastOwl]

The A Team

A Spanish football manager writes down the names of his eleven best players only to discover that half of them are broken!

 

[symyjym]

Celebrity Colonic Irrigation.

Pretty sure this has already been done.

 

[spring hall convert]

Pretty sure this has already been done.

Do you know, in the back of my mind, I thought it might have been. You'll forgive me for thinking that a premise that vapid and ludicrous could make it onto our screens. Let me guess - Channel 5?

 

[5Ways Gull]

Pretty sure this has already been done.

I'm sure that Gillian McKee (?) woman once had a vicar on her program who wouldn't do a "poo" so she extracted it from him manually. That woman was strange!

 

[tinycowboy]

Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank

 

[symyjym]

I'm sure that Gillian McKee (?) woman once had a vicar on her program who wouldn't do a "poo" so she extracted it from him manually. That woman was strange!

I don't remember that one, and I would have switched channel as soon as the Vicar mentioned his problem, which would have been well before as you describe what happened.

 

[seagullsovergrimsby]

Supermarket Steal. A group of chavs have to shoplift as much as possible without being caught and then blend in with a thousand other chavs in a football stadium. Sponsored by Sainsburys.

 

[brakespear]

I'm guessing everyone's seen this

www.tvgohome.com/archive.html

You beat me to it. If only Charlie Brooker was still funny

 

[Lord Bracknell]

South East Today

BBC South East send a reporter to stand outside County Hall, Maidstone and talk live about something that is rumoured to have happened earlier in the week somewhere in Kent.

 

[tinycowboy]

Grate Expectations

A cooking programme dedicated to meals made purely from minced, grated or pureed food. Presented by Rob Curling.

 

[Tricky Dicky]

Pretty sure this has already been done.

I asuume it was 10 times better than Eastenders

 

[rool]

The Jeremy Kill Show.

Jeremy Kyle takes on the less educated and fortunate members of society in their own homes without the aid of body guards.

 

[5Ways Gull]

I don't remember that one, and I would have switched channel as soon as the Vicar mentioned his problem, which would have been well before as you describe what happened.

I think I was too stunned to react!