Soton Seagull
Well-known member
Following complaints
made to the IRB about the All Blacks performance of the 'Haka' before
their games, the Board has now agreed the following pre-match rituals of
their own.
A. The England team will chat about the weather, wave hankies in the air
and attach bells to their ankles before moaning about how they invented
the game, and gave it to the world, and how it's not fair that everyone
can beat them now. Failing that they will see what the Americans are
doing and join in.
B. The Scotland team will chant "You lookin' at me Jimmy?" before
smashing an Irn Bru bottle over their opponents' heads.
C. Unfortunately the Committee were unable to accept the Welsh
suggestion following representations from the RSPCA.
D. Argentina will unexpectedly invade a small part of opposition
territory, claim it as their own "Las In-Goals-Areas" and then be
forcibly removed by the England team.
E. Two members of the South African team will claim to be more important
than the other 13 whom they will coral between the posts whilst they
claim the rest of
the pitch for themselves.
F. The Americans will not attend until almost full time. In future years
they will amend the records to show that they were in fact the most
important team in the tournament and make lots of films to prove it.
G. Five of the Canadian team will sing La Marsaillaise and hold the rest
of the team to ransom.
H. The Italian team will arrive in bright red cars, harass the female
stewards and then run away.
I. The French will declare they have new scientific evidence that the
opposition are all mad. They will then park lorries across the half-way
line, let sheep loose in the opposition half (unless playing Wales) and
burn the officials. However they may not attend the World Cup at all as
it involves the deployment of Frenchmen in another part of the world.
J. The Australians will have a barbie before negotiating lucrative
singing and TV contracts in the UK. They will then invite all their
mates to come and live with them in Shepherds Bush.
K. The Ireland team will split into two, with the Southern half
performing a Riverdance, while the Northerners march the Traditional
route from their dressing room to the pitch, via their opponents'
dressing room.
made to the IRB about the All Blacks performance of the 'Haka' before
their games, the Board has now agreed the following pre-match rituals of
their own.
A. The England team will chat about the weather, wave hankies in the air
and attach bells to their ankles before moaning about how they invented
the game, and gave it to the world, and how it's not fair that everyone
can beat them now. Failing that they will see what the Americans are
doing and join in.
B. The Scotland team will chant "You lookin' at me Jimmy?" before
smashing an Irn Bru bottle over their opponents' heads.
C. Unfortunately the Committee were unable to accept the Welsh
suggestion following representations from the RSPCA.
D. Argentina will unexpectedly invade a small part of opposition
territory, claim it as their own "Las In-Goals-Areas" and then be
forcibly removed by the England team.
E. Two members of the South African team will claim to be more important
than the other 13 whom they will coral between the posts whilst they
claim the rest of
the pitch for themselves.
F. The Americans will not attend until almost full time. In future years
they will amend the records to show that they were in fact the most
important team in the tournament and make lots of films to prove it.
G. Five of the Canadian team will sing La Marsaillaise and hold the rest
of the team to ransom.
H. The Italian team will arrive in bright red cars, harass the female
stewards and then run away.
I. The French will declare they have new scientific evidence that the
opposition are all mad. They will then park lorries across the half-way
line, let sheep loose in the opposition half (unless playing Wales) and
burn the officials. However they may not attend the World Cup at all as
it involves the deployment of Frenchmen in another part of the world.
J. The Australians will have a barbie before negotiating lucrative
singing and TV contracts in the UK. They will then invite all their
mates to come and live with them in Shepherds Bush.
K. The Ireland team will split into two, with the Southern half
performing a Riverdance, while the Northerners march the Traditional
route from their dressing room to the pitch, via their opponents'
dressing room.
