[Albion] Guardian - The Football Daily Christmas Awards 2023

[Norman Potting]

THE MARTIN LEWIS AWARD FOR MONEY-SAVING EXPERTISE​ ​

Brighton, whose secret transfer algorithm continues to turn water into Domaine de la Romanée-Conti Grand Cru 1945. Tony Bloom, the Brighton chairman, has become the Colonel Sanders of the Premier League. The Bloomball ethos peaked in September when Brighton won handsomely at Old Trafford with a starting lineup that cost less than £20m, or [insert body part] of [insert underachieving Manchester United player]. RS​

 

[Cheshire Cat]

THE ROY KEANE AWARD FOR PRE-MATCH AGGRESSION​

Brighton manager Roberto De Zerbi has been described by Pep Guardiola as “one of the most influential managers of the past 20 years”. Not content with introducing a unique style of play, De Zerbi redefined the pre-match handshake when Brighton went to Spurs in April. He had been irritated by some pre-match comments from the Spurs manager Cristian Stellini that he thought were disrespectful; still, as he emerged from the tunnel at the Where Is That Bloody Sponsor Stadium, he did his best to adhere to the meaningless protocol and leave it at that. But as De Zerbi shook Stellini’s hand, his mouth opened all by itself and dispensed 50 grades of shade in the direction of an increasingly confused Stellini. Before De Zerbi knew it he was jabbing his finger in the direction of Stellini’s breastbone with increasing malevolence. The two managers were sent off in the second half of the actual game, mainly because the referee couldn’t work out who else to finger after a rumpus that emptied both benches. De Zerbi’s verdict after the game? “Normal situation.” RS

 

[Me and my Monkey]

THE ROY KEANE AWARD FOR PRE-MATCH AGGRESSION​

Brighton manager Roberto De Zerbi has been described by Pep Guardiola as “one of the most influential managers of the past 20 years”. Not content with introducing a unique style of play, De Zerbi redefined the pre-match handshake when Brighton went to Spurs in April. He had been irritated by some pre-match comments from the Spurs manager Cristian Stellini that he thought were disrespectful; still, as he emerged from the tunnel at the Where Is That Bloody Sponsor Stadium, he did his best to adhere to the meaningless protocol and leave it at that. But as De Zerbi shook Stellini’s hand, his mouth opened all by itself and dispensed 50 grades of shade in the direction of an increasingly confused Stellini. Before De Zerbi knew it he was jabbing his finger in the direction of Stellini’s breastbone with increasing malevolence. The two managers were sent off in the second half of the actual game, mainly because the referee couldn’t work out who else to finger after a rumpus that emptied both benches. De Zerbi’s verdict after the game? “Normal situation.” RS

Ahh, that's ma boy!