For the first time in five years

[Man of Harveys]

Also, on no account would I recommend that you suggestively lick any of the seafood in an attempt to make yourself appear sexually intrepid.

 

[Marc]

whatever you do DO NOT tell her that the evening has been carefully analysed by dozens of people on an internet message board and that you're only paying / not paying or smiling , or not asking for first date sex etc etc on the advice of a load of people you don't know!

so true

 

[On the Left Wing]

Don't forget to wear a vest and some stunning fleeced longjohns ...
and don't burp ...

 

[Dave the OAP]

If you are having Turbot or Sea bass/Sea Bream, order a bottle of cold ( must be cold) Sancerre 1998 if they have it.

Its dry but it will get the mood right and if you don't like her or its going badly, then drink it all and you can get pissed happy in the knowledge that you are throwing expensive alchohol down your throat.

BTW, I have been told that you mustn't mention old girlfriends or bad relationships you have had in the past and certainly don't mention you prefer to wear a dress at weekends and like to be called Susan...that may not go down too well.

Finally, don't drop your knife on the floor in a pathetic attempt to look up he skirt...seemly that doesn't go down well either

 

[virgirlo]

If you are having Turbot or Sea bass/Sea Bream, order a bottle of cold ( must be cold) Sancerre 1998 if they have it.

Its dry but it will get the mood right and if you don't like her or its going badly, then drink it all and you can get pissed happy in the knowledge that you are throwing expensive alchohol down your throat.

Look at all you men with your tips and techniques!!
wish i had a date to go on

 

[Man of Harveys]

Sancerre is the undisputed guvnor of white wines in my book

 

[Marshy]

Always offer to pay is my advice.

 

[Digweeds Trousers]

Right, So let me just summarise:

I pay for the lot.

I don't mention ex girlfriends.

Don't get pissed.

Dont sneal off to but condoms.

Smell nice.

Don't look up her skirt.

Wear longjohns.

Drink Sancerre.

Look cool and confident and look here in the eye.

This thread has made me laugh more than I have in a long long while. It is incredible that paople I have never met, or have I, have chipped in with all this advice. I will be revealing all tomorrow as all identities are safe and secure so no-one will be embarrased.

I will be honest so look out for the thread tomorrow entitlled Digweeds Night out last night.

Bless you all fo all you comments. I think the Wetherspoons, McDonalds one may not be the way forward this time but I will bear it in mind if I move to South London.

Thank you all NSC.

PS How do I find out if she likes football. She lives in the Warteringbury area of Kent so that could mean Gillingham (eekk)

 

[Easy 10]

Don't forget the poem.

 

[Digweeds Trousers]

Oh yes of sourse. The poem. Will I get away with reading of a card, or should I learn it and sit there wilstfully , take a deep slug of the Sancerre and then make out that I have just made it up on the spot.

 

[Dave the OAP]

Mention something about Beckham in general conversation....good ambassador...daft tatoo..good family man...something like that. If she looks blankly at you , footy is a no no, if she answers with a long diatribe about it, then you know she is into footy.

 

[Easy 10]

Oh yes of sourse. The poem. Will I get away with reading of a card, or should I learn it and sit there wilstfully , take a deep slug of the Sancerre and then make out that I have just made it up on the spot.

I think you should learn it. Take it with you on a card for a final bit of "revision" in the toilet just beforehand, then go back and recite it to her as if it's a spontaneous gesture on your part. Perhaps on one knee.

Its true beauty would be stifled and distorted by reading it off a card. It has to look as though it comes from the heart.

 

[Man of Harveys]

I've written a poem for you which will break the ice:

A curvacious young lady from Kent
Gave up cheap fornication for Lent
"I'll guzzle down an oyster
But I won't roister-doister
You can toss off back home like a gent"

 

[(was)DBS]

If you are having Turbot or Sea bass/Sea Bream, order a bottle of cold ( must be cold) Sancerre 1998 if they have it.

Its dry but it will get the mood right and if you don't like her or its going badly, then drink it all and you can get pissed happy in the knowledge that you are throwing expensive alchohol down your throat.

Look at all you men with your tips and techniques!!
wish i had a date to go on

well if you look anything like DSM then you should be fine for a date!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

My biggest tip

Wear some clean and shiny shoes. Women love clean and shiny shoes.

 

[Icy Gull]

Something tells me she's going to really disappointed when the REAL you appears from amongst all this bullshit

 

[Wozza]

f*** her - then eat her.

 

[aftershavedave]

Sancerre is the undisputed guvnor of white wines in my book

absolutely, or at a stretch a chablis.

fill her with wine, not toooooo much and she'll be yours

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

f*** her - then eat her

Shouldn't it be the other way around ?.

 

[SK1NT]

MOST IMPORTANT DONT TELL HER THIS IS YOUR FIRST DATE IN 5 YEARS, SHE'LL WONDER WHY!