For the first time in five years

[Soul Finger]

I too have a first date tonight. Met her on Saturday night at a party and spent the next two nights at her gaff. Didn't get me nuts in though. That's good 'cos I really like her.

We're skipping the grub and going straight to the boozer. I'm bricking it actually and will defo take some of the pointers in this thread on board, although perhaps not the Rohypnol one!

Good luck Diggers

 

[alan partridge]

I too have a first date tonight. Met her on Saturday night at a party and spent the next two nights at her gaff. Didn't get me nuts in though. That's good 'cos I really like her.

We're skipping the grub and going straight to the boozer. I'm bricking it actually and will defo take some of the pointers in this thread on board, although perhaps not the Rohypnol one!

Good luck Diggers

ah you liked my massive cock advice no doubt

btw i've never 'got my nuts in', is it possible??

 

[Easy 10]

I have written a small poem with which you can impress her with (by all means claim the credit for yourself).

Your skin is soft, your eyes so bright
I'm proud to be with you tonight
I want to kiss and grope and touch
I cross my legs and hide my crutch

A little small talk, just for show
I post on North Stand Chat you know
My username is Digweeds Trousers
Don't worry love, I'm safe as houses

Here have some wine, now have some more
Your sumptuous curves I must explore
You can't resist my manly stench
Just give up now, you buxom wench


(if that doesn't have her gagging for it, I don't know what will).

 

[Digweeds Trousers]

f***ing top draw Easy 10. You are a funny man.

 

[Lush]

Normal rules apply don't they?

Be yourself, be a gentleman and be interested in what she has to say.

And smell nice.

What he said.

I am thinking of suggesting that we make Chappers an honorary DAFT Bint.

 

[Soul Finger]

btw i've never 'got my nuts in', is it possible?? [/B]

Only if you have a miniscule bell end!

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Don't talk about her dead mother's breasts

 

[alan partridge]

Only if you have a miniscule bell end!

you have nuts on your bell end?

 

[Paddy B]

Don't talk about her dead mother's breasts

Tom is there more to tell?

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Tom is there more to tell?

Only if you never saw The Office Christmas Special

 

[Paddy B]

Oh yeah

Didnt watch the repeats but saw them originally

 

[Man of Harveys]

Best of luck Diggers, will you report back how it goes?

I went on a "date" at the start of my current relationship...I got much more drunk than she did and engineered it so I missed the last train back to Brighton and had to kip at hers...the rest is, as they say, geography.

 

[Brovion]

Pay attention to what she says. Look her in the eyes not the breasts.

Don't lie about yourself, you'll only trip yourself up.

When she comes back from 'powdering her nose' make sure you're gazing wistfully into your wine glass, then as she approaches the table look up and smile.

When you go to the Gents do NOT ask her for a couple of quid for the condom machine.


And remember always be sincere - whether you mean it or not.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Pay attention to what she says. Look her in the eyes not the breasts.

Indeed. And if she mentions (as my sister-in-law once did) that at school the boys in her year only ever talked to her breasts, do not reply 'Which one of you said that?'

 

[Juan Albion]

I think the esteemed Keith once said that the thing to do is to promise the woman at least one orgasm. And perhaps share your scotch egg.

 

[alan partridge]

When she comes back from 'powdering her nose' make sure you're gazing wistfully into your wine glass, then as she approaches the table look up and smile.

top advice you old romatic you!

although do all your first dates feel the need to pop off for a line of coke?

 

[Soul Finger]

you have nuts on your bell end?

At one end is your bell end, at the other your nuts/balls/plums/knackers/gonads/testicles.

 

[Brovion]

top advice you old romatic you!

although do all your first dates feel the need to pop off for a line of coke?

Ha ha! Yes, I think they do. Strangely they find it more interesting I think than listening to me going on about the importance of fighting Le Cateau immediately after Mons. Why is it on first dates you ALWAYS end up discussing First World War British military strategy?

So come on Diggers how did it go?

 

[Seagullible]

Make her a nice cup of tea - works every time

 

[alan partridge]

Ha ha! Yes, I think they do. Strangely they find it more interesting I think than listening to me going on about the importance of fighting Le Cateau immediately after Mons. Why is it on first dates you ALWAYS end up discussing First World War British military strategy?

I know what you mean, trench warfare seems to always pop up around desert time