For the first time in five years

[Digweeds Trousers]

I'm going on a date. recently mentioned to those who were on the thread about the Goldstone and memories etc about bitch Albion hating partner leaving me and going.

In itself all good really. terrifyingly I have a date tomorrow night with a friend of a friend. I have seen her before and she is lovely. we are going for something to eat.

Trouble is, I have not actually been on a date for 5 years. I don't know what to do.

Help!!

 

[Titanic]

Talk about shopping - birds like that, apparently

 

[CHAPPERS]

Normal rules apply don't they?

Be yourself, be a gentleman and be interested in what she has to say.

And smell nice.

 

[Safeway]

Drink her under the table.

 

[Icy Gull]

Normal rules apply don't they?

Be yourself, be a gentleman and be interested in what she has to say.

And smell nice.

Do that and she'll soon be walking all over you

 

[Marshy]

Good sound advice Chappers

Interested in what she sais is a sure fire winner.

Good luck by the way.

Perhaps you should ask the ladies on the board for there advice ?

 

[Dave the OAP]

dont mention welding or what car you are driving.

Stay clear of mentioning Kelly Brook.

Don't fart loudly at the dinner table.

Buy her some flowers

Laugh at her jokes, but not too loudly.


PS I haven't been on a date for 27 years!!! ( going out for 5 years and then married for 22 years)

 

[Digweeds Trousers]

Cheers Safeway but I'm having some time off the booze. Take note Brovian, bloody good advice that. haven'felt so sharp for ages.

 

[Marc]

I had a date recently, horrifying experiences but can turn out alright if you do well (I did cos I got SEX )

ANYWAY....Listen: Plain and simple girls love someone who listens, obviously throw in a comment everynow and again so they know you're interested.
Most girls dont like footy so I opted to stay away from that (until it got onto tattoos, I have a blue seagull). Also we chatted about general everyday stuff and it worked....well for me anyway!

 

[Set of Tracksuits]

Don't order spaghetti or anything too messy to eat.

Ask her questions about herself, that's how women like to communicate (so I'm told).

Erm.

Oh yeah, make sure your fingernails are nice and clean.

 

[CHAPPERS]

Do that and she'll soon be walking all over you

And what exactly is wrong with being downtrodden?

 

[Smithers-Jones]

When she is talking, look at her eyes, not her tits!!

 

[Digweeds Trousers]

I just had to look twice at that above...............you did say WALKING all over me??

 

[Dave the OAP]

at the end of the meal, don't ask her if its "sausage time"

( Blackadder the third - Prince of wales)

 

[Icy Gull]

I just had to look twice at that above...............you did say WALKING all over me??

You can dream but it is only a 1st date.....

 

[Wardy]

1. Listen to what she says and make intresting and educated replies.

2. Do not talk about past girlfriends etc.

3. Treat her like you would your mother. By this i mean do not swear, fart etc etc.

4. Be yourself talk about the things that intrest you but notto the point that you are boring her or stopping her talk.

5. And this is the most important of them all. ENJOY YOURSELF and RELAX. She will be as nervious as you.

 

[Safeway]

And, if things look like they're drifting off course, slip some Rohypnol in her drink when she's in the toilet.

 

[alan partridge]

tell her you have a MASSIIIIIVE cock

 

[Marc]

lol Safeway


another one, if her phone rings half-way through or at the end of the meal (if she just came back from the toilet) then be worried....if this happens then its what they use as an escape clause "Oh I have to rush off sorry!" - then its all over
HOWEVER, if after the phonecall she carries on and you have a long after dinner drink....then saddle up cowboy

 

[Pevenseagull]

ask her for a couple of quid when you go to the gents