[Misc] Favourite topics for small talk

[Bodian]

Height, hair colour, caucasian, age and build.

I once asked a colleague 'which one is x?' in relation to some new colleagues. They described them by things like height, hair, age. The one thing they didn't say was 'black' because of misplaced fears of being criticised by using skin colour as a descriptor. Seeing as the person in question was our only black employee - it would have been the easiest way!

 

[dazzer6666]

It’s DWARVES

If you’re gonna f*** em, at least get their collective noun correct.

Grumpy ?

 

[AmexRuislip]

I once asked a colleague 'which one is x?' in relation to some new colleagues. They described them by things like height, hair, age. The one thing they didn't say was 'black' because of misplaced fears of being criticised by using skin colour as a descriptor. Seeing as the person in question was our only black employee - it would have been the easiest way!

It's the society we live in today.
I think people are too scared to say things that might get them in trouble.
I say, say the correct thing in a polite and respectable manner.

 

[razer]

I find myself leading with “isn’t it nice now it’s lighter in the evenings”

This one can go on for at least a month.

“Parking” is demoted into second topic for now.

Remind me to avoid anything remotely connected to small talk with you.

 

[wellquickwoody]

The extinction of the ‘visible panty line’.

 

[Han Solo]

I like to talk about the social, historical and psychological situation - the essence of human interaction - me and the conversation comrade are finding us in. "How almost illegal that we are just two strangers talking!".. that kind of stuff. I'm not much of a weather-talk kind of guy. Those kind of subjects lead nowhere. Ok, so its raining, now what? Where do we go? "Never seen that before."

 

[HeaviestTed]

“What age did you start supporting palace, was it related to your head injury?”

 

[The Clamp]

Small talk?


A delightful silence punctuated with the odd tutt from behind my copy of the Times will suffice. Thank you so much.

 

[BrightonCottager]

The other week, we were travelling back from the vets and I noticed this lady chasing her dog down the road.
As she was a fare distance away, it looked like she was wearing one of those tight all in one tracksuits, the colour of flesh
As I drove past she was absolutely starkers, as nowt on at all.
This isn't the sort of thing that happens in Ruislip.
(Calling @BrightonCottager)
I stopped and called the police and reported the incident, saying I was concerned for her mental health.
After giving the rozzers a description, they asked us to follow her, giving updates over phone as to which way she was heading.
Cut a long story short, we pulled over with another concerned couple, police arrived and detained the lady under the mental health act.
Rozzers thanked us for our time and a blanket we gave to keep her warm.
You could look at this as something funny, but you don't know the lady came from or wash she running away from danger.

For the thread, we've told this story as small talk / gossip to others we chat to.

You are generally correct, although when I was growing up in Ruislip, there was reputedly a 'madman' living in the woods called Naked Norman. He was supposed to catch children and do unspeakable things to them. We used to dare each other to stay until and beyond dusk in the woods until we were too shit scared to stay any longer. (As an aside, our parents weren't that bothered and couldn't contact us on our yet-to-be-invented mobile phones).

Perhaps you saw Naked Norma?

Or - given the location - a reincarnation of Mad Bess?

On a similar theme, Mrs BC was taking a morning stroll on Hollingbury Hill Fort during the first lockdown and was passed by a male and female Naked joggers. This became the subject of small talk (blamed on the morning chill, I'm sure) for a few months.

 

[AmexRuislip]

You are generally correct, although when I was growing up in Ruislip, there was reputedly a 'madman' living in the woods called Naked Norman. He was supposed to catch children and do unspeakable things to them. We used to dare each other to stay until and beyond dusk in the woods until we were too shit scared to stay any longer. (As an aside, our parents weren't that bothered and couldn't contact us on our yet-to-be-invented mobile phones).

Perhaps you saw Naked Norma?

Or - given the location - a reincarnation of Mad Bess?

On a similar theme, Mrs BC was taking a morning stroll on Hollingbury Hill Fort during the first lockdown and was passed by a male and female Naked joggers. This became the subject of small talk (blamed on the morning chill, I'm sure) for a few months.

In the vicinity of Ladygate Lane & Bury Street, near the Manor Barn.

 

[Lethargic]

Number 2s

 

[Titanic]

The sex life of bees. Bizarre and fascinating.

 

[zefarelly]

ALian Sex dwarfs.

Great band.

Drummer was a bit limited though

 

[Home and Away]

A perfectly formed 256 man Macedonian Phalanx

16x16?

 

[METALMICKY]

“What age did you start supporting palace, was it related to your head injury?”

Similarly, if I meet a bloke for the first time and it turns out he has no interest in football the desire to suggest he had a head injury as a child is overwhelming.

Good small talk opener for blokes of a certain age ' do you remember the good old days as a kid when you'd find porn in hedges?'

 

[HeaviestTed]

Similarly, if I meet a bloke for the first time and it turns out he has no interest in football the desire to suggest he had a head injury as a child is overwhelming.

Good small talk opener for blokes of a certain age ' do you remember the good old days as a kid when you'd find porn in hedges?'

I got ever so excited as a youngster, thought I’d found the motherlode of some great porn gang bang with sexy women and men with grand prix, it was about a bloody car race.

 

[Muhammad - I’m hard - Bruce Lee]

It’s DWARVES

If you’re gonna f*** em, at least get their collective noun correct.

MIDGETS