The Large One
Who's Next?
How about a choice from...
Plaistow Patricia
Billericay Dicky
Wake Up and Make Love
Plaistow Patricia
Billericay Dicky
Wake Up and Make Love
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Favourite Ian Dury song
- Thread starter The Large One
- Start date
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Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick... (the only one I've ever heard of his, and therefore my favourite by default)
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Mellor 3 Ward 4
Well-known member
The Large One said:How about a choice from...
Plaistow Patricia
Billericay Dicky
Wake Up and Make Love
All fantastic, but Wake up and make love is quality.
Goes off to dig out LP....
Lankyseagull
One Step Beyond
There Ain't Half Been Some Clever Bastards
Noel Coward was a charmer.
As a writer he was brahma.
Velvet, jackets and pyjamas,
had a gay divorce and other dramas.
There ain't half been some clever bastards
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bas-tards.
Van Gough did some eyeball pleasers.
He must have been a pencil squeezer.
He didn't do the Mona Lisa,
That was an Italian geezer.
There ain't half been some clever bastards
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bas-tards.
Einstein can't be classed as witless.
He claimed atoms were the littlest.
When you did a bit of splitting-em-ness
Frighten everybody shitless
There ain't half been some clever bastards.
Probably got help from their mum
(who had help from her mum).
There ain't half been some clever bastards.
Now that we've had some,
let's hope that there's lots more to come.
There ain't half been some clever bastards
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bas-tards.
Okey-dokey!
Oh!
Segovia.
Da-laa la-laa da-daa da-lee
De dump di dump de dump-dump-diddle li-lee.
There ain't half been some clever bastards
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bastards
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bastards
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever........
..................................bastards.
Currently reading his biography - interesting reading. Didn't realise he went to Chailey Heritage between the ages of 9 and 12 - sounds like it was a pretty bleak existence.
Noel Coward was a charmer.
As a writer he was brahma.
Velvet, jackets and pyjamas,
had a gay divorce and other dramas.
There ain't half been some clever bastards
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bas-tards.
Van Gough did some eyeball pleasers.
He must have been a pencil squeezer.
He didn't do the Mona Lisa,
That was an Italian geezer.
There ain't half been some clever bastards
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bas-tards.
Einstein can't be classed as witless.
He claimed atoms were the littlest.
When you did a bit of splitting-em-ness
Frighten everybody shitless
There ain't half been some clever bastards.
Probably got help from their mum
(who had help from her mum).
There ain't half been some clever bastards.
Now that we've had some,
let's hope that there's lots more to come.
There ain't half been some clever bastards
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bas-tards.
Okey-dokey!
Oh!
Segovia.
Da-laa la-laa da-daa da-lee
De dump di dump de dump-dump-diddle li-lee.
There ain't half been some clever bastards
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bastards
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bastards
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever........
..................................bastards.
Currently reading his biography - interesting reading. Didn't realise he went to Chailey Heritage between the ages of 9 and 12 - sounds like it was a pretty bleak existence.
NMH
Banned
Clever Bastards was mine too 
simon swagbag
Member
Reasons To Be Cheerful Pt3.
Dover
Home at Last.
Proudly In Love with Pandora.....
......Gets coat and expects flaming.
......Gets coat and expects flaming.
John Boy
Paul McShane
Sex and Drugs and Rock & Roll
Zamora For England
New member
Clever Trevor
Wake Up And Make Love To Me
Wake Up And Make Love To Me
Lord Bracknell
On fire
Good evening. I'm from Essex
In case you couldn't tell.
My given name is Dickie,
I come from Billericay
And I'm doing very well.
I had a love affair with Nina
In the back of my Cortina
A seasoned up hyena
Could not have been more obscener
She took me to the cleaners
And other misdemeanours
But I got right up between her
Rum and her Ribena.
Well, you ask Joyce and Vicki
If candy-floss is sticky
I'm not a blinking thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And i'm doing very well.
I bought a lot of brandy
When I was courting Sandy
Took eight to make her randy
And all I had was shandy.
Another thing with Sandy
What often came in handy
Was passing her a 'Mandy'
She didn't half go bandy.
So you ask Joyce and Vicki
If I ever took the mickey
I'm not a flipping thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well
I'd rendezvous with Janet
Quite near the Isle of Thanet
She looked more like a gannet
She wasn't half a prannet
Her mother tried to ban it
Her father helped me plan it
And when I captured Janet
She bruised her pomegranet.
So you ask Joyce and Vicki
If i ever shaped up tricky
I'm not a blooming thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well.
You should never hold a candle
If you don't know where it's been
The jackpot is in the handle
On a normal fruit machine
So you ask Joyce and Vicki
Who's their favourite brickie
I'm not a common thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well
I know a lovely old toe-rag
Obliging and noblesse
Kindly, charming shag from Shoeburyness
My given name is Dickie
I come from Billericay
I thought you'd never guess
So you ask Joyce and Vicki
A pair of squeaky chickies
I'm not a flaming thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well
oh golly, oh gosh come and lie on the couch
with a nice bit of posh from Burnham-on-Crouch
My given name is Dickie,
I come from Billericay
And I ain't a sloutch
So you ask Joyce and Vicki
About Billericay Dickie
I ain't an effin' thicky
You ask Joyce and Vicki
And I'm doing very well
- a work of sheer genius.
In case you couldn't tell.
My given name is Dickie,
I come from Billericay
And I'm doing very well.
I had a love affair with Nina
In the back of my Cortina
A seasoned up hyena
Could not have been more obscener
She took me to the cleaners
And other misdemeanours
But I got right up between her
Rum and her Ribena.
Well, you ask Joyce and Vicki
If candy-floss is sticky
I'm not a blinking thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And i'm doing very well.
I bought a lot of brandy
When I was courting Sandy
Took eight to make her randy
And all I had was shandy.
Another thing with Sandy
What often came in handy
Was passing her a 'Mandy'
She didn't half go bandy.
So you ask Joyce and Vicki
If I ever took the mickey
I'm not a flipping thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well
I'd rendezvous with Janet
Quite near the Isle of Thanet
She looked more like a gannet
She wasn't half a prannet
Her mother tried to ban it
Her father helped me plan it
And when I captured Janet
She bruised her pomegranet.
So you ask Joyce and Vicki
If i ever shaped up tricky
I'm not a blooming thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well.
You should never hold a candle
If you don't know where it's been
The jackpot is in the handle
On a normal fruit machine
So you ask Joyce and Vicki
Who's their favourite brickie
I'm not a common thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well
I know a lovely old toe-rag
Obliging and noblesse
Kindly, charming shag from Shoeburyness
My given name is Dickie
I come from Billericay
I thought you'd never guess
So you ask Joyce and Vicki
A pair of squeaky chickies
I'm not a flaming thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well
oh golly, oh gosh come and lie on the couch
with a nice bit of posh from Burnham-on-Crouch
My given name is Dickie,
I come from Billericay
And I ain't a sloutch
So you ask Joyce and Vicki
About Billericay Dickie
I ain't an effin' thicky
You ask Joyce and Vicki
And I'm doing very well
- a work of sheer genius.
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SussexSpur
New member
Lankyseagull said:
That's the one!
cheeseroll
New member
owabaht "wot a waste"
hitony
Administrator
I was very privalidged to actually meet this great man, i was doing some large renovation works to the block of flats he lived in right by hammersmith bridge, and after a while, me and a mate realised he lived there, and this one friday afternoon, we knew he was in and we plucked up courage to knock his door and ask for his autograph, he opened the door, we sort of nervously said sorry to bother you, but could we have your autograph please, and he said "yeah sure" then he said, you 2 are working on the property arnt you, we said yeah, he then said, come on in, he then gave us both a can of beer, also gave us both his autographs, and we sat down and had a chat for a bit, the man was a true gentleman and a genius in my opinion. RIP
Tyrone Biggums
Well-known member
Moments of sadness, moments of guilt
Stains on the memory, stains on the quilt
Chapter of incident, chapter and verse
Sub-heading chronic, paragraph worse
Lost in the limelight, backed in the blaze
Did it for nine pence, those were the days
Give me my acre and give me my plough
Tell me tomorrow, don't bother me now
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
Times at a distance, times without touch
Greed forms the habit of asking to much
Followed at bedtime by builders and bells
Wait ‘til the doldrums which nothing dispels
Idly, mentally, doubtful and dread
Who runs with the beans shall not stale with the bread
Let me lie fallow and dormant dismay
Tell me tomorrow, don't bother today
f***ing ada, f***ing ada
f***ing ada, f***ing ada
Tried like a good ‘un, did it all wrong t
Thought that the hard way was taking to long
To late for regret or chemical change
Yesterday’s targets have gone out of range
Failure infolds me with clammy green arms
Damn the excursions and blast the alarms
For the rest of what’s natural I’ll lay on the ground
Tell me tomorrow if I’m still around
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
Stains on the memory, stains on the quilt
Chapter of incident, chapter and verse
Sub-heading chronic, paragraph worse
Lost in the limelight, backed in the blaze
Did it for nine pence, those were the days
Give me my acre and give me my plough
Tell me tomorrow, don't bother me now
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
Times at a distance, times without touch
Greed forms the habit of asking to much
Followed at bedtime by builders and bells
Wait ‘til the doldrums which nothing dispels
Idly, mentally, doubtful and dread
Who runs with the beans shall not stale with the bread
Let me lie fallow and dormant dismay
Tell me tomorrow, don't bother today
f***ing ada, f***ing ada
f***ing ada, f***ing ada
Tried like a good ‘un, did it all wrong t
Thought that the hard way was taking to long
To late for regret or chemical change
Yesterday’s targets have gone out of range
Failure infolds me with clammy green arms
Damn the excursions and blast the alarms
For the rest of what’s natural I’ll lay on the ground
Tell me tomorrow if I’m still around
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
f***ing Ada, f***ing Ada
Difficult choice
Honourable mention for 'f*** off Noddy' but Wake up and Make Love is superb
I remember being given a severe parental BOLLOCKING for playing the opening line of Plaistow Patricia at full volume, thinking my Mum and Dad were out!
Marvellous
Honourable mention for 'f*** off Noddy' but Wake up and Make Love is superb
I remember being given a severe parental BOLLOCKING for playing the opening line of Plaistow Patricia at full volume, thinking my Mum and Dad were out!
Marvellous
cheeseroll
New member
Hiney said:
i had to be quick to turn the volume down on a number of occasions with that one..
ahem more tea vicar.
scooter1
How soon is now?
Sweet Gene Vincent
New Boots and Panties is a belter tho
New Boots and Panties is a belter tho
aftershavedave
Well-known member
sweet gene vincent is great but billericay dickie wins it for me