Favourite euphemisms

[driller]

ooh, ooh. that reminded me TLO...a rather convoluted one for lesbians:

prefers the wilton to the stilton.

I usually end up having to explain that one though.

i do not understand that please explain?

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Last night on Big Brother, the geordie lad did raise a smile, with his;

He had been playing 'operation' and was losing as his hands were not steady enough. He explained that due to years of using a chainsaw [he's a tree surgeon, as opposed to a homocidal maniac] his hands SHAKE LIKE A SHITTING DOG!

 

[John Dorian]

1) Sweating like a jew on Hitlers lap.
2) Sweating like Michael Jackson in a play park.
3) Mouth is as dry as gandhi's flipflop.

 

[Titanic]

Last night on Big Brother, the geordie lad did raise a smile, with his;

He had been playing 'operation' and was losing as his hands were not steady enough. He explained that due to years of using a chainsaw [he's a tree surgeon, as opposed to a homocidal maniac] his hands SHAKE LIKE A SHITTING DOG!

OK, I'll bite, at the obvious risk of more accusations of pedantry.

Again, it's not a euphemism, it's a simile. But even if your overlook that, you would have to call this a DYSPHEMISM rather than a euphemism anyway. It is clearly a rather splendid example of using an intentionally harsh word or expression instead of a polite one.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Anyone else think that Titanics comments on this thread are as welcome as a wasp at a picnic?

[I appreciate that this is also not a euphamism, Mr T]

 

[Common as Mook]

When the missus is at that time of the month, it could be said that she has 'fallen to the bolsheviks'

 

[Titanic]

Anyone else think that Titanics comments on this thread are as welcome as a wasp at a picnic?

[I appreciate that this is also not a euphamism, Mr T]

Fair enough, perhaps I will leave you to it, and stick my pedantry where the sun doesn't shine

 

[Moshe Gariani]

OK, I'll bite, at the obvious risk of more accusations of pedantry.

Again, it's not a euphemism, it's a simile. But even if your overlook that, you would have to call this a DYSPHEMISM rather than a euphemism anyway. It is clearly a rather splendid example of using an intentionally harsh word or expression instead of a polite one.

Whilst being happy to associate myself with your helpful corrections, Titanic, would you agree with me that some of the examples in this thread have actually exceeded dysphemism and should really be considered CACOPHEMISTIC...?

 

[Titanic]

Whilst being happy to associate myself with your helpful corrections, Titanic, would you agree with me that some of the examples in this thread have actually exceeded dysphemism and should really be considered CACOPHEMISTIC...?

Well, alright. It is a fine line, after all

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

's great North Stand Chat .........................

 

[Buzzer]

i do not understand that please explain?

prefers rugs (rug munching) to cheese (knob cheese) munching.

I told you it was a bit convoluted.

 

[Buzzer]

Apologies to HKFC and all other carrot-tops as this mocks red-heads unfairly:

Beaten like a ginger step-child.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

I'll fuckin have you for that.

 

[Buzzer]

I was only the messenger.