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Favourite euphemisms
- Thread starter Buzzer
- Start date
volkswagen's bonnet
A particularly hairy girls nether regions is known fantastically, as looking like;
Kevin Keegan in a headlock
Kevin Keegan in a headlock
Superphil
Dismember
Quite like some of the golfing ones been going around
A Denis Wise - Nasty little 5 footer of a putt that no-one likes.
A Brazilian - A Putt that shaves the hole.
And Elton John - A Putt that licks the rim then pops in.
A Denis Wise - Nasty little 5 footer of a putt that no-one likes.
A Brazilian - A Putt that shaves the hole.
And Elton John - A Putt that licks the rim then pops in.
Superphil
Dismember
If you like, here is the full list
A Nipple licker - shot which opens up the hole
A Worm f***er - well struck shot, but which doesn't get off the ground.
A Sally Gunnell - ugly runner
A Brazil - putt which shaves the hole close.
I don't go that far on me holidays - for a well struck drive
On the dance floor - on the green
Lucy Locket - rhyming slang ('socket') expression for a shank, as it refers to the part of the club striking the ball
There's a lot of golf left in that - for any putt shorter than 3ft
Give it a bit more chocolate/toffee - hit it harder
Bunny hindsight - wait to see what the ball does, and then say it was a deliberate hard fade etc
A Mother in law - you're up there but you know you shouldn't be (sometimes also called a sister in law, which is not quite as grotesque)
Does your husband play? - for when someone hits a short tee shot
Power Fade - excuse regularly used for a horrible slice that ends up miles yards down the wrong fairway
Going down to Margate - when hit into the bunker, must be sung as per Chas and Dave classic
NITBY - "not in the bunker yet", for any short chip over a bunker onto the green
Rick O'Shea - when anyone's ball bounces off a tree back onto the fairway
Houston, we have re-entry - for whenever someone skies one off the tee
A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole
Tee Way Back - Chinese for a long hole
A Rick Waller - VERY fat.......and ugly.......with no redeeming features whatsoever
Gone from Ben Hogan to Hulk Hogan - to go from playing like a God to absolute shite
Point behind a fellow golfer and say "Oi mate!...........I think you dropped your lipstick" if they hit a short putt or drive
Singalong:
"Dude Putts Like a Lady" - sung to the tune of "Dude Looks Like a Lady" by Aerosmith for whenever anyone hits a putt short
A Chuck Berry (in the trees) - no particular place to go
A Bon Jovi - when you leave a putt short i.e. "Oh, we're halfway there"
Putting:
Putting like a gynaecologist's assistant - shaving the hole
A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer
A Diego Maradonna - a very nasty 5 footer
A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out
A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't
A Cuban - needs one more revolution
An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim
Bunker Play:
An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker
An Eva Braun - picked up in the bunker
A Saddam Hussein - go from bunker to bunker
A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand
Ball Striking:
A Kate Winslett - little bit fat but otherwise perfect
A Kate Moss - bit thin
A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional
A Michael Barrymore - a long iron
A Wilfred Bramble - a thin iron
A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water
An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result
A Russell Grant - a fat iron
A Peter Mandelson - an unbelievable iron
A Rodney King - over-clubbed
An O.J. Simpson - got away with it
A Paula Radcliffe - not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but still a good runner
A Marilyn Monroe - a fair crack up the middle (aka "A Blondie)
A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver
A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
A Robin Cook - just died on the hill
A Michael Jackson - gradually fading
A Douglas Bader - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs
An Arsene Wenger - everyone saw where it went but you
A Ken Livingstone - quite far left
A Jean-Marie LePen - a long way right
A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all may not be what it seems!
An elephant's arse - high and shitty
A condom - safe but didn't feel real good
A circus tent - a BIG top
An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result
A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it
A Tony Blair - too much spin
A Bin Laden - driven out and never to be found again
A Jamie Oliver - you really want to smack it but you can't
A Lee Harvey Oswald - three good shots in a row that you don't know where the hell came from
A Red October - underwater and you won't find it
A Ryanair - flies well but lands a long way from the target
A Nipple licker - shot which opens up the hole
A Worm f***er - well struck shot, but which doesn't get off the ground.
A Sally Gunnell - ugly runner
A Brazil - putt which shaves the hole close.
I don't go that far on me holidays - for a well struck drive
On the dance floor - on the green
Lucy Locket - rhyming slang ('socket') expression for a shank, as it refers to the part of the club striking the ball
There's a lot of golf left in that - for any putt shorter than 3ft
Give it a bit more chocolate/toffee - hit it harder
Bunny hindsight - wait to see what the ball does, and then say it was a deliberate hard fade etc
A Mother in law - you're up there but you know you shouldn't be (sometimes also called a sister in law, which is not quite as grotesque)
Does your husband play? - for when someone hits a short tee shot
Power Fade - excuse regularly used for a horrible slice that ends up miles yards down the wrong fairway
Going down to Margate - when hit into the bunker, must be sung as per Chas and Dave classic
NITBY - "not in the bunker yet", for any short chip over a bunker onto the green
Rick O'Shea - when anyone's ball bounces off a tree back onto the fairway
Houston, we have re-entry - for whenever someone skies one off the tee
A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole
Tee Way Back - Chinese for a long hole
A Rick Waller - VERY fat.......and ugly.......with no redeeming features whatsoever
Gone from Ben Hogan to Hulk Hogan - to go from playing like a God to absolute shite
Point behind a fellow golfer and say "Oi mate!...........I think you dropped your lipstick" if they hit a short putt or drive
Singalong:
"Dude Putts Like a Lady" - sung to the tune of "Dude Looks Like a Lady" by Aerosmith for whenever anyone hits a putt short
A Chuck Berry (in the trees) - no particular place to go
A Bon Jovi - when you leave a putt short i.e. "Oh, we're halfway there"
Putting:
Putting like a gynaecologist's assistant - shaving the hole
A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer
A Diego Maradonna - a very nasty 5 footer
A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out
A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't
A Cuban - needs one more revolution
An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim
Bunker Play:
An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker
An Eva Braun - picked up in the bunker
A Saddam Hussein - go from bunker to bunker
A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand
Ball Striking:
A Kate Winslett - little bit fat but otherwise perfect
A Kate Moss - bit thin
A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional
A Michael Barrymore - a long iron
A Wilfred Bramble - a thin iron
A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water
An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result
A Russell Grant - a fat iron
A Peter Mandelson - an unbelievable iron
A Rodney King - over-clubbed
An O.J. Simpson - got away with it
A Paula Radcliffe - not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but still a good runner
A Marilyn Monroe - a fair crack up the middle (aka "A Blondie)
A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver
A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
A Robin Cook - just died on the hill
A Michael Jackson - gradually fading
A Douglas Bader - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs
An Arsene Wenger - everyone saw where it went but you
A Ken Livingstone - quite far left
A Jean-Marie LePen - a long way right
A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all may not be what it seems!
An elephant's arse - high and shitty
A condom - safe but didn't feel real good
A circus tent - a BIG top
An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result
A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it
A Tony Blair - too much spin
A Bin Laden - driven out and never to be found again
A Jamie Oliver - you really want to smack it but you can't
A Lee Harvey Oswald - three good shots in a row that you don't know where the hell came from
A Red October - underwater and you won't find it
A Ryanair - flies well but lands a long way from the target
Tyrone Biggums
Well-known member
The internet is full of euphsmisms
GGF
LMFAO
FU
BFD
SOB
And the like.
GGF
LMFAO
FU
BFD
SOB
And the like.
Moshe Gariani
Well-known member
- Mar 10, 2005
- 12,351
Titanic...?
SJ's Love Monkey
Ambrose-ia
Like a dead heat in a Zeppelin race - referring to a female with ample breasts!
Bevendean Hillbilly
New member
Buzzer...can I be in your gang?
Norman Potting
Well-known member
"As nervous as a short nun at a penguin shoot"
...Perhaps we should just start a thread of favourite "Gene Huntism's"!
...Perhaps we should just start a thread of favourite "Gene Huntism's"!
medicine man
New member
"She went down on me like a dog with a hot chip"
My fave ever (1st read on here):-
Sweating like Rik Waller in a pie shop.
But one from work, whilst playing pool & you've played a snooker to hard leaving all the balls available:-
Touch of a rapist.
Sweating like Rik Waller in a pie shop.
But one from work, whilst playing pool & you've played a snooker to hard leaving all the balls available:-
Touch of a rapist.
Bevendean Hillbilly
New member
Slowhand
New member
Sweating like a glass blowers arse!
pasty
A different kind of pasty
Just another set of TLA's