Ever applied for the Albion manager's job?

[Bozza]

Anyone, on one of the many times we have been looking for a new one?

Something along the lines of:

"Dear Dick,

I am an Albion fan and really good on Championship Manager. I got Brighton to the Premiership within 6 seasons and attracted a number of big name players.

I am available for interview any time..."


Anyone done it? Anyone get a rejection letter?

 

[Spiros]

I did when Barry Lloyd was fired. I never expected any kind of reply as I listed my main experience as managing a Brighton League team for one season winning only the Sportsman's Trophy (aka the girly cup) as we didn't have a booking all season. Much to my amusement our then chief executive (I think his name was Bellendi) wrote back to me in a way that made it sound as though Liam Brady only just pipped me to the job. I still have the letter at home somewhere.

 

[Seagullsgonnagetya]

I have applied for the Reading job

Still awaiting a reply from Madge

All those interested write to:
John Madejski
Madejski Stadium
Reading
Berks
RG2 OFL


Or if you think you can help poor ole Spurs apply here:
Daniel Levy
Bill Nicholson Way,
748 High Road,
Tottenham,
London
N17 0AP

 

[Yorkie]

Sggy

I would love you to get that job (however unlikely)

You could make Sidwell come to us on loan for 6 months until our midfielders had recovered.

 

[Seagullsgonnagetya]

I was just writing out my Spurs application

If I get either (or both) I can guarantee early permanent loan signings for the Albion of Bobby and Sid... then sell Henderson to Palaaarse

 

[marvin]

The only joke application I have made was to Virgin Rail Customer services as a Customer services manager.

It was just after complaining to them about bad service from Virgin.

What would you see as your main role in this job.

bringing Virgin Rail's customer service level up beyond the "could not give a damn about the customer" level to where it treats its customers as reasonable, intelligent beings.

For some reason I did not get the job but got a letter saying don't let this disapointment to stop you applying again to Virgin Rail!

 

[Gary Nelson]

Just imagine IF IF someone got a job in football league due to their Champ Man. record!!
Iv always thought about being a manager and wondered how to keep coming up with new training ideas. The temptation to blow out ball control and play Wembely or 3 and in or heads and volleys would be quite tough.
I think I would also fall down on the score if my team had lost I would probably call the other fans a bunch of wankers or say I saw the other teams manager and his chairman 'together' in the toilets

 

[Citrus]

 

[Lady Whistledown]

I think we should all write to Reading and offer our services. They have pissed us off enough times, it would serve them right to have to wade through (and reply to if they have any decency) hundreds of applications from Brighton fans.

Reasons why you'd be the perfect person for the job could include:

-I have extensive experience of man management from my time at Tesco's/ McDonalds/ Hove Park Rangers/ Athletico Vindaloo from the Horsham and District Sunday League

-I was an avid fan of The Manageress on TV

-I have read Alex Ferguson's autobiography twice

-I once did a stint as a character at Disneyland Paris so I am used to operating within the confines of a Mickey Mouse outfit.

 

[Yorkie]

edna

Be careful, the last time you suggested anything, just look what happened.

Actually I think it's a great idea.

My credentials

I know how to nag men to get them to achieve anything
I love your stadium
I am very experienced in buying with a limited budget.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Dear Mr Madjeski

I am a big football fan, with extensive knowledge of the second division. If I am successful in my application I will undertake the following initiatives for the advancement of Reading FC.

...I think that Steve Sidwell will never make it so I will ship out the deadwood like him to clubs like Brighton on frees.

....I will restore John Salako to the first team

....I will maximise commercial income by letting the MadStad pitch out to the local farmers society for their monthly ploughing contest

....I will recall Darius Henderson to the starting XI

 

[Yorkie]

....I will maximise commercial income by letting the MadStad pitch out to the local farmers society for their monthly ploughing contest

 

[Wilts]

....I will maximise commercial income by letting the MadStad pitch out to the local farmers society for their monthly ploughing contest

Gonna struggle there. Nearest farms are towards Newbury I think. Its all wasteland around Reading Besides, Berkshire farmers are all facking pikeys and I will slit their throats with the perforated edge of my season ticket if they come anywhere near Reading.

Besides, we've got plasticky grass anyway, the type that Juventus stole off us to use for their pitch. The brilliance of modern technology.

However, if you state that you'd like the pitch to look like a quagmire, then they'll see all along that you're a Brighton fan bringing Withdean home to Berkshire.

By the way, a certain L Sanchez wrote in an application, and was put in a pile with the fans' applications to be disposed of straight away. Nobody knew who he was either.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

I will ship in some farmers especially! Or if not farmers, how about the Reading boy racers massive, I'm sure they could do with somewhere to practise their handbrake turns and donuts. Say, every Wednesday evening. Now you can't tell me there are none of these in Reading!

PS: how dare you criticise the pristine, nature-reserve surrounded expanse of Wembley-like turf that is Withdean? It's practically an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty, at least that's what the local residents try and tell us (as they craftily let their dogs shit on the nearby grass verges).

 

[Wilts]

I will ship in some farmers especially! Or if not farmers, how about the Reading boy racers massive, I'm sure they could do with somewhere to practise their handbrake turns and donuts. Say, every Wednesday evening. Now you can't tell me there are none of these in Reading!

PS: how dare you criticise the pristine, nature-reserve surrounded expanse of Wembley-like turf that is Withdean? It's practically an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty, at least that's what the local residents try and tell us (as they craftily let their dogs shit on the nearby grass verges).

Withdean is an excellent area until someone decided to put a stadium in the middle of it. Very nice indeed.

The Reading "cruise" brigade can zip around in their XR3i's as much as they like. Just as long as they do it in the Madejski car park and pay £4 per lap, then we might be able to get a new player or summat

 

[DTES]

Done. Most of the letter was taken from ideas above, so cheers. I'm awaiting a reply now. I'm not hopeful...

Dear Mr Madjeski,

I would like to make an application for the vacant managers position at your club. My experience on Championship Manager makes me the perfect candidate. After taking Northwich Victoria to the Champions League Final, I feel no-one can argue with my managerial abilities. Granted, this remarkable achievement was not achieved with Reading FC, but I do find it hard to wish Reading well, so wouldn’t have got so much enjoyment out of it. However, do not let this put you off. I am a big fan of everything Disney, and were I given an opportunity to work with a real Mickey Mouse club I would take it 100% seriously, and would grasp the opportunity with both hands.

I feel my experience from a Mathematics degree would also come in useful. I would assist the club financially as well as on the pitch. By loaning players to Brighton and Hove Albion I would reduce our wage bill, as well as performing a service to football itself by assisting such a great club regain it’s place amongst the sport’s elite.

My years as a student can also do nothing but help my abilities at buying on a shoestring budget, and my having just finished reading a copy of Sir Alex Ferguson’s autobiography can only assist my abilities even further.

Yours hopefully,

 

[Lady Whistledown]

"yours hopefully"

That's how kids used to end their letters to Jim'll Fix It!

 

[chemical brother]

Any fan over the age of 16 who has applied for the job should be embarrassed. Valuable drinking time and paper wasted.

xx

 

[Early Doors]

Dear Mr Madjeski,

I am would like to apply for the vacant post of manager of Reading FC.

Being a supporter of Brighton & Hove Albion, I have an intimate knowledge of most of Reading's players, as many have either been nicked from under our noses, or loaned to us to improve their fitness level!

My managerial experience is substantial. I have managed various clubs in a variety of computer games. My successes include winning the Premiership and FA Cup with Brighton (in seperate seasons. The double was beyond me.) I have also won the Champions League with Chelsea, but my greatest achievement was in getting Manchester relegated from the Premiership. That was particularly difficult, as even 'Premier Manager' seemed to have a bias towards 'The Mighty Reds'!

I hope you will find my application of interest. I am sure we would work well together as I don't believe that naming a football stadium after oneself is necessarily a sign of a massive ego!!

Regards

 

[berkshire seagull]

Dear mr knight

I am writing this letter on behalf of the vacancy at brighton and hove albion football club.
My assetts and skills will be a major factor in taking this great club forward to achieve its goal in reaching the premiership.

I have great ability in getting 100% out of players and you can be sure of that as i will dock huge lumps out of there wage if they under perform.

Im a bossy cu-nt to mr knight and don't take no shite from slacking players and i exspect no funds to strenghen,so i exspect the awnser very soon.
I have enclosed my 10 word c.v in which will help you decide and thanks again mr knight.


Yours sincerely berkshire king daddy seagullllllllllllllllll!