[Humour] Entertaining Conspiracy Theories

[Questions]

Ooh... Did Ewan play Andy Murray? It's all becoming clear.

https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/whats-on/andy-murray-wants-ewan-mcgregor-to-play-him-in-movie-of-his-life-613677

I really wouldn’t push too hard and go delving….

 

[Sid and the Sharknados]

A friend of mine insists that old churches are really power stations that gathered, stored, and distributed "electricity from the earth's magnetic field" back in the late middle ages.

Yeah, I know, rubbish............I haven't got any mates.

That just reminded me of the line (can't remember who said it) that the crucial victory of science over religion was when they put lightning conductors on churches.

 

[pastafarian]

Some people believe Crystal Palace is a top notch football club


weirdos

 

[Baldseagull]

Colonel Sanders puts a chemical in his chicken that makes you crave it fortnightly.




If anyone can name that reference they have my lasting respect.

The reason Kentucky Fried Chicken changed to KFC is that the birds they cook are so genetically modified that they would be breaking advertising standards calling it Chicken.

 

[BadFish]

The 2012 Olympics were fake. All the athletes, crowds and officials were actors.

That was highly entertaining as a poster on here claimed the closing ceremony was going to be a false flag event. There were clues all over the Olympic stadium if I remember rightly. Lots of triangles

When it didn't happen they claimed it was because so many people (non sheeples) had worked it out so the Illuminati couldn't go ahead with it.

 

[BadFish]

I’m convinced nobody actually believes the earth is flat, they just claim they do for attention / a laugh

I taught science at primary level for a time and one of my lessons about scientific method, good science and space/night and day/seasons etc involved me trying to persuade the students the earth was flat. (We then look at the history of how we know it's round).

My principal came round doing a school tour once while I was arguing that it is flat. His and the family's faces were a picture.

 

[BadFish]

There was one on here years ago about a secret paedophile ring of of rich and powerful people trafficking young girls for sex. They even suggested it went up to the levels of governments and the royal family.




. . . Oh.




Next they'll be telling that the only person who will face any prosecution for this will be a woman.



. . . Oh.

 

[pastafarian]

That was highly entertaining as a poster on here claimed the closing ceremony was going to be a false flag event. There were clues all over the Olympic stadium if I remember rightly. Lots of triangles

When it didn't happen they claimed it was because so many people (non sheeples) had worked it out so the Illuminati couldn't go ahead with it.

NSC helping foil the illuminati by exposing them should go down as a great achievement.
that was a cracking thread lol

 

[Colonel Mustard]

I don't think it's quite the same. Hopefully my other two posts have proved that I've no time for the 'flat earth' style conspiracies (Another group who've depressingly grown in number in the internet age), but do I think that governments lie, cheat, distort and hide facts? Of course I do - and I'm pretty sure that everyone else posting on this thread also thinks that.

But there's a difference between healthy scepticism and downright insanity. Take Covid for example. I personally feel the lockdowns were a massive mistake that have created huge long-term problems, and these far outweigh any short-term benefits that they may have had. I also think that the government twisted the 'facts' to 'prove' that they were, in fact, the best approach. I may be right, I may be wrong, but yes I was/am sceptical of the government in this respect. However I don't believe that Covid was a hoax or that it was spread by 5G masts or that the vaccines were Bill Gates injecting chips into us - that's the insanity end of the spectrum.

The government was lambasted for waiting too long to impose a lockdown compared with mainland Europe and much of Asia. In fact it was the delayed lockdown that many people blamed for the UK's high rate of infection and death from Covid.

The recent revision of such recent history is astonishing really. People seem to forget that we had about 12 months of Covid and well over 150,000 deaths in the UK before the vaccine started to become widely available. Lockdown was a very blunt instrument and as we all know, a fairly unpleasant experience but it’s obvious that it reduced the rate of infection and death.

 

[pastafarian]

The government was lambasted for waiting too long to impose a lockdown compared with mainland Europe and much of Asia. In fact it was the delayed lockdown that many people blamed for the UK's high rate of infection and death from Covid.

The recent revision of such recent history is astonishing really. People seem to forget that we had about 12 months of Covid and well over 150,000 deaths in the UK before the vaccine started to become widely available. Lockdown was a very blunt instrument and as we all know, a fairly unpleasant experience but it’s obvious that it reduced the rate of infection and death.

This is nonsense laughable conspiracy

Everyone knows lockdowns, especially in the westerne world, were purely about governments inflicting their control and taking away your freedom.
It had nothing to do with saving lives.

do your own research

There is plenty of evidence, especially from anti vax anti mask websites in the USA........and evangelists who knew you couldnt catch covid anyway because they were bathed in the blood of jesus.

 

[Baldseagull]

Getting back to the funnier conspiracy theories, I quite like the one that the brace position you are asked to adopt is not really about potentially saving your life or reducing injury, its to try and keep your head with your body so they can identify your charred corpse from dental records.

 

[edna krabappel]

Southwick tunnel on A27 is a nuclear shelter for bigwigs .
' Proof' = number of doors inside it and number of closures for ' emergency services exercises '..
could be.

I've got an appointment there in a few weeks time, to go behind the scenes, as it were.

I've not had to sign any Official Secrets Act documents yet as far as I recall, so I will post photos of the nuclear launch sites and alien experimentation labs as I find them

 

[banjo]

I've got an appointment there in a few weeks time, to go behind the scenes, as it were.

I've not had to sign any Official Secrets Act documents yet as far as I recall, so I will post photos of the nuclear launch sites and alien experimentation labs as I find them

That’s assuming they’ll let you back out.

 

[KZNSeagull]

I've got an appointment there in a few weeks time, to go behind the scenes, as it were.

I've not had to sign any Official Secrets Act documents yet as far as I recall, so I will post photos of the nuclear launch sites and alien experimentation labs as I find them

Make sure your body cam is live streaming onto the cloud as the footage is bound to be destroyed.

 

[Lyndhurst 14]

When I lived in the States there were quite a few Loony Tunes people spouting all manner of CTs. Many were old like the moon landings, JFK etc but one I hadn't heard before was Michelle Obama was in fact a man - WTF ! And the Simpsons more than covered the topic.

 

[One Love]

Obama's wife being a man is often spouted, the late Joan Rivers mentioned that before she died also.

This one nearly got me into trouble in a Hove pub. Not that I believed it but I'd only just heard this one.

Anyway I went to a Doors tribute band concert and was completely pissed by the end of their set and through my drunken haze saw the lead singer of the band chatting to a nearby table of not unattractive ladies. Through my misguided lip reading and translation of hand gestures I convinced myself that he was discussing it with them.

He went back to packing up his kit and I leaned into the table and said "Was he just telling you about Michelle Obama's penis?".

Obviously not by the shocked reaction.

They left very soon after.

 

[Colonel Mustard]

I remember being told that McDonalds milk shakes were in fact made from thousands of fragments of edible plastic. Trouble is, if you’re a certain age, and if the person telling you is earnest enough, you end up believing this rubbish until of course you start telling others and find them all ridiculing your naivety.

 

[Van Cleef]

I remember being told that McDonalds milk shakes were in fact made from thousands of fragments of edible plastic. Trouble is, if you’re a certain age, and if the person telling you is earnest enough, you end up believing this rubbish until of course you start telling others and find them all ridiculing your naivety.

Oh, and their chips aren't made of potato don't forget.
I'm sure there was a magazine a while back that used to start some weird rumours, just for a laugh, to see if they would catch on. I think the one where each person is supposed to eat 8 spiders in their lifetime while they were sleeping was one of theirs.

 

[Eric Potts]

That’s assuming they’ll let you back out.

They may let someone out who looks like Edna , and sounds like Edna , but...

 

[Stato]

I've mentioned before that a friend loaned me this book https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/18617616 and that I hate-read it. I've never been so annoyed by an author's self satisfied tone. In summary, his big discovery is that a lot of West Coast rock stars of the late sixties had parents who were in the military, or who worked in weapons manufacture. From that he deduces not that this would be entirely unusual for any randomly selected group of people who's parents had been adults during WWII, but that the whole of the Laurel Canyon scene was a psy op. It's not at all clear what the intent of the operation was, but anybody who doesn't agree with him is a sheeple.

Another fun conspiracy theory hate-read was Bruce Robinson's huge tome about Jack the Ripper. Yes, that Bruce Robinson of 'Withnail & I' fame. I'd read his novel 'The Peculiar Memories of Thomas Penman' and really enjoyed it and also have a bit of a thing for reading Jack the Ripper books, so bought it as soon as it came out. I don't read Jack the Ripper books because I'm interested in the case, more because I'm interested in the psychology of the amateur sleuths who write them. They nearly all decide on a suspect early on and snap Ockham's razor in their attempts to highlight everything that supports their argument and belittle or ignore everything that doesn't. I thought Patricia Cornwall's mad ramblings couldn't be surpassed for this, but Bruce did it easily, also throwing in huge amounts of angry rudeness, arrogance, tunnel vision and conspiracy theory about how and why virtually every policeman and politician in the country conspired to cover up the truth that only he is aware of.