Embarrassing Moments

[Nibble]

I once got pissed up and deciding I would be better off and less danger to myself going to sleep I clambered noisily up the wooden hill to Bedford. I had been asleep an estimated ten minutes when I felt the urgent need to empty my bladder. In my confused state I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and breathed a sigh of relief. Until I realised that this was no bathroom, this was my building corridor. As the door clicked locked behind me I the full scale of my situation dawned on me. Light dawns on marble head.
Not only was I firmly locked out of my flat I knew there was no point in checking my pockets for my keys. why? Because naked men don't have pockets.

Cupping my offal I searched for anything that would cover my Mother's Pride. I found a toilet roll of all things, what else could I do? Remembering all the lessons chubby survival expert Ray Mears had taught me via the medium of tellybox, I fashioned a rudimentary "mini skirt" from siad toilet paper.

Now what to do? well it involved a mad dash across the seven dials, at pub kicking out time to my friends house. Watched by the patrons of several full pubs I made my run of shame. At one point I slipped, went arse over tit outside Sobs, again viewed by at leat 10 pissed up burger hunters. I eventually made it to my friends, feet, pride and toilet roll in total tatters.

 

[acrossthepond]

Arrange the following phrases into a humiliating experience.

attractive young lady doctor
19 years old
raging hard on
genito urinary clinic
"remove your trousers"

 

[Gwylan]

I once got pissed up and deciding I would be better off and less danger to myself going to sleep I clambered noisily up the wooden hill to Bedford. I had been asleep an estimated ten minutes when I felt the urgent need to empty my bladder. In my confused state I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and breathed a sigh of relief. Until I realised that this was no bathroom, this was my building corridor. As the door clicked locked behind me I the full scale of my situation dawned on me. Light dawns on marble head.
Not only was I firmly locked out of my flat I knew there was no point in checking my pockets for my keys. why? Because naked men don't have pockets.

Cupping my offal I searched for anything that would cover my Mother's Pride. I found a toilet roll of all things, what else could I do? Remembering all the lessons chubby survival expert Ray Mears had taught me via the medium of tellybox, I fashioned a rudimentary "mini skirt" from siad toilet paper.

Now what to do? well it involved a mad dash across the seven dials, at pub kicking out time to my friends house. Watched by the patrons of several full pubs I made my run of shame. At one point I slipped, went arse over tit outside Sobs, again viewed by at leat 10 pissed up burger hunters. I eventually made it to my friends, feet, pride and toilet roll in total tatters.

They probably thought it was performance art

 

[Slowhand]

A bird was sucking me off once then she said there's toilet paper stuck to your arse hole

That has just made me literally cry with laughter in the office. I don't know why but that is just so funny!

 

[bhaexpress]

I am one a couple of days ago. I was waiting be picked up by a relative and as he arrived I took a step towards his Pick Up only to slip on some ice. This time I lost both feet and was completely upended landing flat on my back. I still have the bruises to prove it.

 

[Spun Cuppa]

When working in a garage as a lad, I once felt the urge to run towards my metal workbench and jump up onto it all Errol Flynn like. As I approached at speed and planted my front foot to anchor the jump, it gave way and I collapsed under the bench in a pile among jacks, axle stands and oil cans, much to everyone's merriment

 

[Danny-Boy]

Any of you got any similar (hopefully worse) humiliating experiences? Please share

Well it didn't happen to me, but..

At school we used to play hockey in the Spring term. One match one of my team got a ball struck hard sock into his goolies. He did a vertical jump that would not have disgraced Peter Crouch and then collapsed writhing on the ground whilst we stood around laughing our heads off.

School is cruel.....

 

[Danny-Boy]

Arrange the following phrases into a humiliating experience.

attractive young lady doctor
19 years old
raging hard on
genito urinary clinic
"remove your trousers"

Blow-job??

 

[Danny-Boy]

I was doing an accountancy job in Bournemouth staying at a B and B.

Late one night I was sleeping in just my shirt, felt the need for a jimmy and walked out of the room to use the toilet, thinking no-one would be around.

Except that the room had a self-locking door...

Panic! I was stuck in the corridor in just my shirt. Luckily outside was my car, a beaten up VW Beetle, with a busted quarter-light (remember those?) which I could prise open. And it was Summer. So I crept out of the hotel in my shirt, and slept in the car overnight.


Mind you I did have to embarrass the receptionist early in the morning when I came back in to get back in my room.....

 

[Marty McFly]

I stacked it massively on Queens Rd this afternoon, in front of a LOT of people.

 

[Danny-Boy]

I take it "stacked It" is the current patois for "threw up"?

In which case I "stacked it" in the corridor of a leading firm of City Chartered Accountants on my first trip to their offices as a student when I was only 17. I've never touched prawn cocktails again, even the sight of them makes me heave.
They still employed me for five years...

 

[Marty McFly]

I take it "stacked It" is the current patois for "threw up"?

In which case I "stacked it" in the corridor of a leading firm of City Chartered Accountants on my first trip to their offices as a student when I was only 17. I've never touched prawn cocktails again, even the sight of them makes me heave.
They still employed me for five years...

Stacked it = falling over.

 

[Spun Cuppa]

I was watching The Jam at the Brighton Centre one of the five times I saw them there and Weller was announcing each song before playing them and each announcement was greeted with loud cheering etc. When he announced 'Away From The Numbers', which happened to be my then favourite Jam song, I screamed at the top of my voice, then noticed no one else was making any noise surprisingly

The embarrassment was tempered by me being well pissed though

 

[chimneys]

I was watching The Jam at the Brighton Centre one of the five times I saw them there and Weller was announcing each song before playing them and each announcement was greeted with loud cheering etc. When he announced 'Away From The Numbers', which happened to be my then favourite Jam song, I screamed at the top of my voice, then noticed no one else was making any noise surprisingly

The embarrassment was tempered by me being well pissed though

Oh please!! A quiet Jam concert where you could be heard?! Admittedly only saw them 3 times, but never was it quiet enough to hear a single screaming youth.

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

Cupping my offal I searched for anything that would cover my Mother's Pride. I found a toilet roll of all things, what else could I do? Remembering all the lessons chubby survival expert Ray Mears had taught me via the medium of tellybox, I fashioned a rudimentary "mini skirt" from siad toilet paper.

Now what to do? well it involved a mad dash across the seven dials, at pub kicking out time to my friends house. Watched by the patrons of several full pubs I made my run of shame. At one point I slipped, went arse over tit outside Sobs, again viewed by at leat 10 pissed up burger hunters. I eventually made it to my friends, feet, pride and toilet roll in total tatters.

Nibble that is f***ing hilarious I have tears rolling down my cheeks
The image of a naked man running down the street wearing just toilet roll as a skirt and falling over in the process is one I cannot believe has never been done in film.