dealing with cold callers- seen on another foru

[desprateseagull]

anyone have better ideas, or experiences..?

Just as in the Little Britain sketch, I would suggest you try this
method of putting off the nuisance telephone sales geek from a gas
supplier, a double glazing company or whoever.

When they declare what it is they are selling. either pretend you are
tapping the comments into a computer or actually do so. Ask them for
lots of basic information and tell them you have this new software
enabling your computer to compare offers with every other retailer.
When they ask you if you're interested in changing .... apologise for
the delay as the computer does the sums and then simply come back with
- "computer says no". If they ask you if they can send you the info
anyway ....... just type in the question and give them the same answer.
Involving the computer as a third party makes it more fun to say no
without having to swear and telling them to ++++ +++.
If the political parties telephone canvass at the next election, it
would be delightful to do it to them also.

If you don't have time for this game .....simply replace the receiver
and get on with your life.

 

[Uncle C]

I just say to them.

"As soon as you try to sell me something, or as soon as you try to give me something for free I will hang up"

Fun to hear them trying not to use the words. Bit like the old Yes/No interlude on Take Your Pick.

 

[NMH]

Having actually done the job of telemarketting, I can tell you something about it;

The caller is just clocking up numbers of calls made. Keeping them on the line while you occupy them with games of any kind, is normally keeping them from having to make the next call - in other words, it's very pleasant of you help the day go by.

In a few cases they are on commission, and unless you mess them about for a very long time, it's unlikely you are hurting them in the slightest - and it's your time too anyway. Perhaps the more annoying thing anyone could do, would be to keep asking them to speak up, and repeat the same question over and over as you didn't understand it.

Don't bother insulting them or being obviously nasty, as they have a distinct advantage over you - they have your telephone number and you don't have theirs.

 

[desprateseagull]

i thought sales businesses could not withhold numbers?

 

[bhanutz]

tell em all to f*** OFF!

 

[DTES]

I've had a few calls recently, despite being ex-directory. When I question them on this, they claim it's a random call. It's when I point out that they knew my name that they just hang up. I don't think that's particularly good...

 

[Nemesis]

I ask them how they got my name and number despite being unlisted. The stock reply is usually that I am on their database.

I then ask for their and their company name and then tell them that I registered with the TPS years ago and their company is making an unlawful call to my number and could be fined up to £10,000. I then ask them to remind me why they called me and it's amazing how quickly they want to hang up. Before they do I tell them to remove my name from their database or I'll sue the ass off them.

 

[Gritt23]

Don't bother insulting them or being obviously nasty, as they have a distinct advantage over you - they have your telephone number and you don't have theirs.

Why, what would they do with it?
Is there a telemarketing version of a waiter spitting (or worse) into your soup?

 

[Mr Burns]

tell em all to f*** OFF!

Is the correct answer!

 

[Gully]

Do what I do, pretend that you can't speak English, you aren't actually being rude to them, they get a laugh and will certainly remove you from their database.

 

[pasty]

tell em all to f*** OFF!

Damn straight. Had a sales call in the office today, who asked me who our pc suppliers were. I gave the stock answer of "I'm not authorised to disclose that information to cold callers", and the cheeky fucker just hung up on me!!

 

[NMH]

Why, what would they do with it?
Is there a telemarketing version of a waiter spitting (or worse) into your soup?

I dunno, what would you do if it was your mundane job to call people all day and one idiot wants to be a cock instead of simply saying "no thanks goodbye"?

Some might decide to be shitty back, as they have the cock's number, and you have just been calling from a work line and don't give a shit that they may have access to a number that you aren't going to harrass them from anyway.
Toilet doors, phone box gay prostitute telephone ads? Howabout taking a minute to make a few business cards for taxis, using the wanker's number....calls at 3a.m. from drunks!

The wanker who wasted your telmarketting time, or called you nasty names, will be getting calls from all over, and you won't be implicated anyway...and they only recall that they were called by a telemarketer once, perhaps some time ago.

Hey, it works for ex-friends and lovers too!

 

[jonny.rainbow]

I find hanging up usually works.

 

[NMH]

Here's an idea; anyone living in an area near Archer or Bellotti? e.g. make a few buisness cards up with 'Bellottis Swedish masage for gay men - guaranteed happy end, call day or night"

 

[British Bulldog]

The one's that annoy me are the Twats who ring up & ask how much I spend per month on my mobile phone. My normal reply is "What the f**k has it got to do with you?".

 

[Tom Bombadil]

When I'm at work I play the pretend forward them round the company game which works like this;

1 -You take call from twat Ltd who obviously know nothing about you or your company.

2 -Be polite - claim they've come through to the wrong extension and you'll transfer them.

3 - Put them on hold for a minute or two.

4 - Pick up phone listen to scripted spiel again return to step two.

See how long you can keep them on the phone. They usually don't go more than four spins on the merrygoround.

If they twig they've already spoken to you say you'll try again, leave em on hold for a minute and then pick up the phone and claim the person they want isn't in. Give them a fictitious contact ( i favour Peter Ward) and a made up phone number for "Peters direct line"

 

[hitony]

The following is a true and honest account of what happened to me just last night on the phone at about 6pm,

caller saying to me...hi before you hang up im not selling anything...i said...ok...he went on and it was obvious he was trying to get me interested in new windows.....after a bit i explained that this is a new property and it already has new windows.....he straight away saiid....do you have a conservatory...i said...actually..no i dont...he went on and on and on and on etc etc...i showed great interest....then at that critical point when he was about to try and make an appointment.....i said to him...can i ask you just one question....he said...yeah sure.......i said (and this is honestly true) ...I LIVE IN A 3RD FLOOR APARTMENT....WILL THAT CAUSE YOU ANY PROBLEMS WITH FITTING THIS CONSERVATORY ? ...........i do not lie to you...........he hung up ........I WAS CRYING WITH LAUGHTER....

 

[pasty]

When I'm at work I play the pretend forward them round the company game which works like this;

1 -You take call from twat Ltd who obviously know nothing about you or your company.

2 -Be polite - claim they've come through to the wrong extension and you'll transfer them.

3 - Put them on hold for a minute or two.

4 - Pick up phone listen to scripted spiel again return to step two.

See how long you can keep them on the phone. They usually don't go more than four spins on the merrygoround.

If they twig they've already spoken to you say you'll try again, leave em on hold for a minute and then pick up the phone and claim the person they want isn't in. Give them a fictitious contact ( i favour Peter Ward) and a made up phone number for "Peters direct line"

Love it. Guess what I'm going to try next time I get a call. Thanks Voroshilov

 

[Purrel_Frankel]

Or try this:

http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/

 

[madbutcher]

Or try this:

http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/

that is amazing i get loads of wan***s foning me up and if when i ask them if they are selling anything ithey always say no so i ask them to send whatever they are giving away to ma as soon as they can