[Humour] Dad jokes or puns

[Herr Tubthumper]

Why didn’t Barbie ever get pregnant by Ken?

Because he came in a different box

Genuine

 

[ElectricNaz]

What did one snowman say to the other?

It smells like carrots

 

[pasty]

Why doesn’t Elton John like lettuce?

Because he’s a rocket man

 

[Comrade Sam]

What's black and white and red all over?
A panda smoothie!
Not met a child that likes this joke yet!

 

[WATFORD zero]

Two fish in a tank. One says to the other 'do you know how to drive this thing?'

 

[Bakero]

What's black and white and red all over?
A panda smoothie!
Not met a child that likes this joke yet!

That's why you should never bloody pander to children.

 

[Bakero]

Why doesn’t Elton John like lettuce?

Because he’s a rocket man

Cos he's a rocket Man, surely.

 

[WATFORD zero]

Where do you find a tortoise with no legs ?

Wherever you left it.

 

[Questions]

Isn't that an Italian suppository?

I had those suppositories prescribed to me…….
Might as well have shoved them up my arse for all the good they did me.

 

[pasty]

Can Kestrels fly at night?

All kestrels manoeuvre in the dark

 

[Mr Bridger]

Why do scuba divers dive backwards?

Cos if they went forward the would still be on the boat.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

What's black and white and red all over?
A panda smoothie!
Not met a child that likes this joke yet!

what’s black and white and eats like a horse?

A zebra.

 

[maltaseagull]

That's why you should never bloody pander to childre

What's black and white and red all over?
A panda smoothie!
Not met a child that likes this joke yet!

It used to be a newspaper.

 

[gazingdown]

My Grandfather invented the cold air balloon but it never really took off…

 

[Bakero]

Working in the rollercoaster industry has its ups and downs.

 

[Peacehaven Wild Kids]

I've just got a part time job for halloween making plastic Draculas, there's only two of us on the production line so I've got to make every second count.

 

[Psychobilly freakout]

What’s white and lives in the Australian bush ?


Skippy the bush kangafridge

 

[Algernon]

What's white and wears yellow chequered trousers?
Rupert the fridge

 

[PILTDOWN MAN]

My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.

 

[Justice]

Horse walks into a bar, barman says why the long face.