Cracker Jokes

[Diablo]

My favourite.


.What did the pirate say on his eightieth birthday ??..................................Aye Matey

 

[AmexRuislip]

What did the grape say when stepped on?

He let out a little whine

 

[Biscuit Barrel]

Why did the teacher go boss eyed?

Because she couldn't control her pupils.

 

[portslade seagull]

Crystal Palace !!!

 

[BN9 BHA]

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock, who's there? Not Sally.

Think my crackers came from the pound shop.

 

[Tony Towner's Fridge]

What's the fastest thing on dry land?

Stevie Wonder in a speedboat.


TNBA

TTF

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

Got ours from Lidl this year:

What have the planet Mercury and the all seater American Express Community Stadium got in common?

Neither has an atmosphere.

 

[Magic Sponge]

Why didn't Rudolf or Prancer sell on eBay?

Because they were too dear.

 

[Goldstone1976]

He made very few; was occasionally good for a decent horse tip though.

 

[WATFORD zero]

 

[darkwolf666]

Why didn't Rudolph appear on Strictly - because he's no Dancer! (M&S)

 

[Coldeanseagull]

Got ours from Lidl this year:

What have the planet Mercury and the all seater American Express Community Stadium got in common?

Neither has an atmosphere.

Wow, a pikey that can read

 

[Bognor Bystander]

What did the Scarf say to the Hat ?

I'll hang around here and you go on ahead ...