Copping One Right In The Plums thread.

[Nibble]

I went to school with Lester Cully, who went on to become a very fast county bowler. I was keeping wicket but had forgotten my box. He bowled an absolute belter right into my cluster. I dropped like a sack of spanners and about two hours later once the pain had started to slightly subside a horizontal line of bruising appeared on my stomach and I started literally pissing blood. A week spent in hospital ensued. Dark days.

 

[deletebeepbeepbeep]

I went to school with Lester Cully, who went on to become a very fast county bowler. I was keeping wicket but had forgotten my box. He bowled an absolute belter right into my cluster. I dropped like a sack of spanners and about two hours later once the pain had started to slightly subside a horizontal line of bruising appeared on my stomach and I started literally pissing blood. A week spent in hospital ensued. Dark days.

Ahhhhhhhh, the horror!!!

 

[edna krabappel]

I went to school with Lester Cully, who went on to become a very fast county bowler. I was keeping wicket but had forgotten my box. He bowled an absolute belter right into my cluster. I dropped like a sack of spanners and about two hours later once the pain had started to slightly subside a horizontal line of bruising appeared on my stomach and I started literally pissing blood. A week spent in hospital ensued. Dark days.

That sounds like a Perry Digweed sort of injury.

Poor old Perry. He's just lucky it happened in the pre-Sky era, or his misfortune would be featured in a million gifs by now.

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

If there had to be a reason for me to audibly, and noticeably, start laughing during the dullest teleconference in the history of the world, I'm glad it was this.

 

[dazzer6666]

As it's that time of year.......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TALlGELuIs4

 

[WhingForPresident]

 

[Juan Albion]

Yes it happened to me, and I wasn't even playing cricket. I was at the school playing fields practicing for the long jump, so I was wearing very light and flimsy shorts. Suddenly there was a warning cry from the nearby cricket nets. Naturally I turned to see what they were yelling about - and immediately took a direct and vicious hit in the men's department. I was out bbw as it were. Still managed two offspring though.

 

[symyjym]

Yes it happened to me, and I wasn't even playing cricket. I was at the school playing fields practicing for the long jump, so I was wearing very light and flimsy shorts. Suddenly there was a warning cry from the nearby cricket nets. Naturally I turned to see what they were yelling about - and immediately took a direct and vicious hit in the men's department. I was out bbw as it were. Still managed two offspring though.

Is offspring a long jumping technique?

 

[Wellesley]

I had a cop right in my plums once. I never got to know her name, but when I tried to take things further, she shouted "You thought that you had scored, you were wrong, you were wrong!" And then she ran off singing" We hate Portsmouth and we hate Portsmouth!"

 

[backson]

Why is this, in spite of the subject matter, one of the funniest threads I've read for a while?

 

[Sheebo]

There was a rugby one - possibly when we won the WC?! Can't remember who but he's in he big screen and he counts them in front of the whole stadium and signals '2' balls are still there - help me someone!?

 

[aberdare seagull]

I once saved a penalty with my plums playing for the A21 supporters club. It hurt lots. Even vast sums of alcohol didnt help.

 

[The Andy Naylor Fan Club]

I once saved a penalty with my plums playing for the A21 supporters club. It hurt lots.
Even vast sums of alcohol didnt help.

You are supposed to drink it to help numb the pain, not splash it on your plums.

 

[Geestar]

Indoor cricket - was fielding in the front court when a quality powerful shot when straight into jewels (no box). Went down in a heap and returned the ball to the bowler in one motion. Staggered off black and blue.

 

[vegster]

I used to play indoor cricket at the Owzat centre in Lancing, looking back I think there were numerous injuries to be had by the unwary simply because you had people belting a slightly softer cricket ball about in a quite small sprung net no more than 30 yds long and about 12 yds wide. I had two black eyes in a month , one while 'keeping and a ball caught the shoulder of the bat and flew straight in to my eye and the other when warming up for a game and getting distracted while throwing the ball around to warm up.

I had a huge psychological blow though when fielding around about a short Mid On. The batsman lamped a ball straight at me about waist height, everything became a blur as I managed to hold on to the ball and threw down the stumps in almost one motion as the batsman set off for a run.... I shouted "Owzat ? " as we were trained to do and the skipper said " why did you throw the stumps down ? you caught him you pratt ! " Slowly an ache appeared in my right plum as slowly I realised that I had got my hands down to this speeding yellow cannonball and had caught it about two inches in front of my nadgers and that I had clipped my own bollock in getting my hands down fast enough... I was slapped on the back and told " great catch " and the game moved on... only that at this point I realised I had been only a hands width from becoming a eunuch.

 

[Norman Baker suck my lozenge]

Always amazes Me in a film when the villain cops one straight in the sweetbreads and goes back for more,as we all know ,a well aimed punt in the clock weights can render a fellow useless for hours.

 

[Motogull]

There was a rugby one - possibly when we won the WC?! Can't remember who but he's in he big screen and he counts them in front of the whole stadium and signals '2' balls are still there - help me someone!?

It was Will Greenwood.

 

[dazzer6666]

Always amazes Me in a film when the villain cops one straight in the sweetbreads and goes back for more,as we all know ,a well aimed punt in the clock weights can render a fellow useless for hours.

Hours ? Days !!

 

[8ace]

How about a copping one right in the **** thread

 

[Algernon]

I was at school playing basketball in the gym aged 14 ish.
One opponent was on his way toward me thinking about taking a jump shot.
I stood my ground in front of him, legs apart and arms up, as he stopped and started to drive upward into the jump.
He didn't get as far off the ground as he wanted as one of his knees came up under my knackers and fair near lifted me off the round.
I collapsed.

I have yet to experience pain more incapacitating.