[Misc] Completely pointless phrases in adverts, recipes, instructions etc

[WATFORD zero]

I was just looking at a recipe and it said 'Good Quality Beef Stock'. Lucky they said that as I was going to use a piss poor one

And on ads for musicians 'no time wasters'. That'll be me then, better not apply

And over to NSC ...

 

[Westdene Seagull]

I was just looking at a recipe and it said 'Good Quality Beef Stock'. Lucky they said that as I was going to use a piss poor one

And on ads for musicians 'no time wasters'. That'll be me then, better not apply

And over to NSC ...

You're going to be sooooo pleased you paid to be a licker with that thread title

 

[Peacehaven Wild Kids]

 

[Weststander]

The array of leaflets that come with every electronic item covering waste regulations, when you're looking for the fkn instructions

Ironically, within a micro second they're in recycling.

 

[Happy Exile]

Salmon with an allergy warning for containing fish.

 

[Is it PotG?]

'A finger of fudge is just enough to give your kids a treat'.

Wtf.

 

[KZNSeagull]

Salmon with an allergy warning for containing fish.

View attachment 169088

That's the law. You cannot assume that everyone knows that Salmon is a fish. Just watch any ITV quiz show if you don't believe me.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Packs of peanuts contain the warning 'may contain peanuts'.

This is Health and Safety compliance and I for one.....

(sorry just fell down a lift shaft white walking and txting).

 

[fly high]

Haven't got a packet to photograph but bags of nuts usually says "May contain nuts"!!!!!

 

[fly high]

Packs of peanuts contain the warning 'may contain peanuts'.

This is Health and Safety compliance and I for one.....

(sorry just fell down a lift shaft white walking and txting).

Beat me to it.

 

[Bodian]

Any pub sign that advertises things like good beer, good food - etc. As if they would advertise 'Shite beer, crap food - come on in'.

 

[el punal]

‘Live on stage’ - any act that’s about to perform in front of an audience. I mean FFS they’re hardly likely to be dead, are they?

 

[raymondo]

'For a sustainable tomorrow' on a Bird's Eye pack of chicken burgers...

 

[Is it PotG?]

"Sell by' dates on bottled water that has been filtered through crystal steams and passed through numerous bodies over many, many years.

 

[AK74]

The motorhome manufacturer Winnebago had to change their instruction manual to make clear that setting cruise control on the highway did not mean the driver could pop into the kitchen and make a sandwich while the steering took care of itself.

All because of this moron:

This year's runaway 1st-Place Stella Award winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down, $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just incase Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.

 

[Weststander]

‘Live on stage’ - any act that’s about to perform in front of an audience. I mean FFS they’re hardly likely to be dead, are they?

Live on stage, haven’t they got homes to go to?

 

[METALMICKY]

‘Live on stage’ - any act that’s about to perform in front of an audience. I mean FFS they’re hardly likely to be dead, are they?

Sorry to spoil it but the live may mean they are actually singing and playing their instruments as opposed to backing tracks. So I'll give that one a pass

 

[Bozza]

This, it turns out is completely unrelated because I misread the thread title, but I'm going to share it anyway.

You know many recipe websites have a whole load of pre-amble on each recipe page, meaning you have to scroll down, and down, and down before you finally get to the bit you're interested in?

Try this:

Just the Recipe: Skip the clutter on any recipe site

A free tool to get just the ingredients and instructions for any recipe page. No life story, popups, or other clutter.

www.justtherecipe.com

 

[JJ McClure]

Anti-dandruff shampoos that advertise as ‘up to 100% flake free’ ok so anywhere between 0% and 100% then

 

[Is it PotG?]

These different toothpastes for whitening, cavity protection, sensitive gums, fresh breath, gum strengthening, tartar control, herbal, fluoridated.

I'll have one that does the lot thanks