Blackadder Quote Generator

[Brighton Breezy]

Genius

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/blackadder/quotes/index.shtml

 

[Brighton Breezy]

Percy: Only this morning in the courtyard I saw a horse with two heads and two bodies.
Blackadder: Two horses standing next to each other?

 

[Italiaseagull]

Melchett: "If there one thing I've learnt in the army it's never ignore a pooh pooh"

 

[Herne Hill Seagull]

Pah! Shouldn't be necessary. You lot have as much talent for Blackadder quotes as a cluster of colourblind hedgehogs......in a bag.

 

[tinx]

Blackadder: Personally I thought you were the least convincing female impressionist since Tarzan went through Jane's handbag and ate her lipstick, but I'm clearly in a minority.


Brilliant

 

[Brighton Breezy]

I know loads of by heart but just thought this was quite funny and remembering the ones that were perhaps not as obvious.

'As cunning as a fox recently appointed professor of cunning at cunnin university, Oxford"

 

[Herne Hill Seagull]

Only joking Richie. I also liked 'madder than Mad Jack McMad, three times winner of the 'Maddest Man in London' competition.

Also, when discovering Baldrick ('I could change it to Ploppy if it would make things easier') was the executioner...

"Baldrick? What are you doing here?"

"Well....*shrugs*...it's a hobby.."

 

[tinx]

This generator is a fantastic way to cheer up an otherwise dreary afternoon.

Ambassador: I hate you English. With your boring trousers and your shiny toilet paper and your ridiculous preconceptions that Frenchmen are great lovers. I'm French and I'm hung like a baby carrot and a couple of petits pois.

 

[Herne Hill Seagull]

Chris Barrie - a genius. In the same episode..

"The ambassadeur is not 'eeer.....I made 'im eento....paté..."

 

[Brighton Breezy]

Blackadder: Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick, or are the words 'I have a cunning plan' marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?

 

[Seagullible]

Given the choice of meeting you or the guy who cleans the toilets in Aberdeen they go for Wee Jock Pooh Pong McPlop every time.

 

[Reading Posh]

Blackadder: Baldrick, have you no idea what irony is?
Baldrick: Yes, it's like goldy and bronzy only it's made out of iron.

 

[Brighton Breezy]

Blackadder: Baldrick, does it have to be this way? Our valued friendship ending with me cutting you up into strips and telling the prince that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid in an extremely heavy hat?

 

[Blackadder]

Great site


Blackadder: As my tutor, old bubble face, used to say: "make love and be merry, for tomorrow you may catch some disgusting skin disease."

 

[Mad Gerald]

I say to myself "Good morning Mad Gerald, how are you today?" and I say "I'm completely mad today, thank you". "Well you'd be mad to expect any wouldn't you, because I am Mad! I'M MAD GERALD!!!"

 

[JEM]

I know them all by heart. But I'm willing to contribute:

Blackadder: They do say, Mrs M, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are, of course, wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork into your head.

 

[The Large One]

• "I'm as happy as a Frenchman who has just invented self-removing trousers."

• "I'm so hungry, I could eat a dolphin on toast."

• "I've got a plan so cunning, you could brush your teeth with it."

• "I've got a plan so cunning, you could stick a tail on it, and call it a weasel."

• "Let us not forget the last cunning plan you had was to get round the problem of your mother's low ceiling by cutting her head off."

"I like my Mum."

"And I like chops and sauce, but you won't find me asking for its opinion."

 

[Everest]

Flashheart:
If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls will kill themselves and I wouldn't want them on my conscience - not when they ought to be on my face!

Baldrick:
Hear the words I sing,
War's a horrid thing,
But still I sing, sing, sing,
Ding a ling a ling.

 

[Dunkstar]

"Percy:You see,Baldrick,when i was young i was savaged..............
by a Turbot"
"Pitt:Ha sirs.As i said to chancellor Metternich at the congress of Strasbourg,'POO TO YOU WITH NOBS ON'!"