Birthday Treat

[Tim Over Whelmed]

It'll be a kitten or a puppy, and no more!

 

[amexee]

Her sisters are both pretty
She is not from Kingston
No additional participants are allowed

and what the heck is a trombone, and is it different from a rusty trombone?

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

Cleveland Steamer or Portuguese Breakfast.. life-changing decision

Yep, just looked this up and have to say if I'd gone with my hunch, a, I'd be an unhappy bunny! b wasn't a great deal better!

 

[FRYG]

you will require a packet of Ham and a snorkel....

 

[Pavilionaire]

She probably means breakfast in bed

Boston pancakes?

 

[Insel affe]

My partner has promised me a bedroom treat to celebrate my birthday. Apparently my wish will be granted. I am hoping for some NSC advice here. I want something a bit different but erotic, not sadism, scat or anything involving additional participants.

amexee sits and waits patiently for his birthday treat.........

 

[Carrot Cruncher]

How [MENTION=31]El Presidente[/MENTION] hasn't appeared on this thread yet, armed with his 'Rogers Profanosaurus', is a mystery.

 

[banjo]

Spit roasting ?

Sorry a bit misleading should of ended the sentence....... Or a manicure.

 

[MattBackHome]

and what the heck is a trombone, and is it different from a rusty trombone?

rusty trumpet, play the

v. To perform horatio very shortly after receiving a rear admiral's attention.


tromboning

v. A thoroughly impractical sex act in which a woman or Colwyn Bay man rims his pals's brass eye whilst simultaneously reaching round the front to give it some elbow on his horn, the action being akin to playing a trombone.

 

[symyjym]

My partner has promised me a bedroom treat to celebrate my birthday. Apparently my wish will be granted. I am hoping for some NSC advice here. I want something a bit different but erotic, not sadism, scat or anything involving additional participants.

I would have thought it a standard to get three wishes, so maybe that should be your wish so you then have two left.

 

[Kumquat]

For my last birthday my girfriend said she was going to prepare something really special. Now I don't really like surprises. I like to know what my girlfriend is up to. So I said "You know I don't like surprises. What are you up to?" She looked a bit nervous and said "Nothing. I mean I haven't thought about it yet in detail." I said "My birthday is tomorrow. Don't lie to me. What have you got planned?" She said "Nothing. Honestly nothing". I said "But you said you were planning something really special." She said "Well I want to but now I don't know what to do". I sighed. "you do this all the time. When are you going to learn that if you haven't thought something through it's best not to open your mouth". She was about to say something I think but then just walked off. Another lesson learned.

 

[El Presidente]

Sounds as if the OP will be cooking on gash tonight, but possible suggestions for a romantic liaison could include

1: Getting his other half Corgi registered
2: Changing at Baker Street (or Oxford Circus, should the tomato boat be docked)
3: Asking her to play the invisible banjo with another lady, this could potentially move on to clam jousting (or velcro fastening should they both be in possession of hirsute ladygardens (or growlers to those of a more sensitive disposition).

 

[8ace]

Alaskan pipelining.

 

[amexee]

I realise that all of you are trying to be really helpful, however I feel I must make it clear, that I really like my partner and do not want to poo on her or up her!!

 

[Badger]

I realise that all of you are trying to be really helpful, however I feel I must make it clear, that I really like my partner and do not want to poo on her or up her!!

Ah, so you're more of a golden shower fan are you?

 

[banjo]

I think this thread should be merged with the Team of jobs thread.

 

[WhingForPresident]

I realise that all of you are trying to be really helpful, however I feel I must make it clear, that I really like my partner and do not want to poo on her or up her!!

Prude.

You can't beat an Alabama Hotpocket on a cold winter's night.

 

[Hamilton]

Maybe you'll just be watching (a nice TV programme or film!)

 

[Hamilton]

A new bedside lamp?

 

[Titanic]

My partner has promised me a bedroom treat to celebrate my birthday. Apparently my wish will be granted. I am hoping for some NSC advice here. I want something a bit different but erotic, not sadism, scat or anything involving additional participants.

I think you need to provide more information about what is 'normal' for you... so we can come up with sensible suggestions for 'something a bit different'.