Northstander
Well-known member
- Oct 13, 2003
- 14,036
" Aldershot? Aldershit more like. ***** "
Big Sams twitter comments....marvellous....
- Thread starter Northstander
- Start date
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Common as Mook
Not Posh as Fook
- Jul 26, 2004
- 5,646
That account is THE best thing on Twitter.
Northstander
Well-known member
- Oct 13, 2003
- 14,036
- Thread starter
- #3
Its genius!!
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
I love walking around lingerie shops of an afternoon, looking at underwear and picturing all the wonderful fannies and arses that fill them.
Northstander
Well-known member
- Oct 13, 2003
- 14,036
"The saxophone in 'Joe Le Taxi' by Vanessa Paradis is f***ing sublime, quite frankly. It grunts like a wild, untamed hog."
Brilliant!
Brilliant!
Also enjoyed....
"The saxophone in 'Joe Le Taxi' by Vanessa Paradis is f***ing sublime, quite frankly. It grunts like a wild, untamed hog."
Spooky!
Kazenga <3
Test 805843
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
"Maybe it's me," I muttered to myself. "Maybe Big Sam just isn't good enough."
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
Then I saw Callum McNaughton taking a piss and thought, "Nah, it's that cunt's fault".
8 minutes ago
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
I launched at McNaughton like a mardy mountain cat, scratching at the back of his big ginger head and enveloping him in terror.
7 minutes ago
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
I wanted to hurt him. I grabbed his cock and yanked it with all my might. "Get off my dick, boss!" he squealed. "f*** off!," I roared back.
4 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply
"Maybe it's me," I muttered to myself. "Maybe Big Sam just isn't good enough."
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
Then I saw Callum McNaughton taking a piss and thought, "Nah, it's that cunt's fault".
8 minutes ago
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
I launched at McNaughton like a mardy mountain cat, scratching at the back of his big ginger head and enveloping him in terror.
7 minutes ago
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
I wanted to hurt him. I grabbed his cock and yanked it with all my might. "Get off my dick, boss!" he squealed. "f*** off!," I roared back.
4 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply
That is probably the best parody account on Twitter. Some quality tweets about his relationship with Karen Brady the other day.
Fabio Capello is a good one to follow if you like slightly more outrageous jokes and randomly lots of jokes about Tom Daly
Fabio Capello is a good one to follow if you like slightly more outrageous jokes and randomly lots of jokes about Tom Daly
Northstander
Well-known member
- Oct 13, 2003
- 14,036
- Thread starter
- #10
Had a meeting with Maicon this week. Trying to get him to West Ham. Don't think we will but he's a cracking fella. Big 'Golden Girls' fan.
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
I said to him: "Is 'Maicon' really your first name, lad? What's your surname - 'The Mechanics'? He was in absolute stitches.
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
I still bloody love London life, though. It has mysteries and delights within every one of its tight little folds. Like a cracking fanny.
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
James Murdoch is a bit slimy. He looks the type who'd kick the f*** out of a penguin for no valid reason. Just for a laugh. A f***ing laugh.
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
I love playing with my willy when I'm sat on the bog. Not wanking - just messing about with it, pretending it's a little mouse or a person.
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
I said to him: "Is 'Maicon' really your first name, lad? What's your surname - 'The Mechanics'? He was in absolute stitches.
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
I still bloody love London life, though. It has mysteries and delights within every one of its tight little folds. Like a cracking fanny.
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
James Murdoch is a bit slimy. He looks the type who'd kick the f*** out of a penguin for no valid reason. Just for a laugh. A f***ing laugh.
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
I love playing with my willy when I'm sat on the bog. Not wanking - just messing about with it, pretending it's a little mouse or a person.
LondonRoad
New member
- Aug 21, 2011
- 14
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
I left him weeping in the urinal, crushed and battered. He's just a boy but he needs to learn that Big Sam is whirling windmill of terror.
Love it.
I left him weeping in the urinal, crushed and battered. He's just a boy but he needs to learn that Big Sam is whirling windmill of terror.
Love it.
Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
"promised the wife I'd shoot one up her Bisto pipe tonight but I'm not in the mood now"
beardy gull
Well-known member
@TheBig_Sam Another Sunday night booty-call from Tasmin Archer. I've got training in the morning but I can't resist those tits. And she knows that.
@TheBig_Sam Yes, it's a bit like shagging Michael Reiziger in a wig , but that's just part of the thrill. Part of the buzz.
@TheBig_Sam You can blame me for the moonlit sky all you want love. As long as you do that thing to my balls with your armpit again. Sensational.
@TheBig_Sam Yes, it's a bit like shagging Michael Reiziger in a wig , but that's just part of the thrill. Part of the buzz.
@TheBig_Sam You can blame me for the moonlit sky all you want love. As long as you do that thing to my balls with your armpit again. Sensational.
Seagull Steve
SWC
Cracking thread guys.
If I could only follow one account on Twitter. Big Sam would be it.
TheBig_Sam
Just had a shit. Nowt unusual with that. But I did it facing the opposite way on the bog. Big Sam is just constantly innovating.
TheBig_Sam
The fear that my peachy rump would spill over the seat and my faeces would slide out and onto the floor provided such an adrenaline rush.
TheBig_Sam
Didn't though. My log nestled snuggly in the pot like a dormouse snoozing in the bath. Innovation should never come at the expense of logic.
TheBig_Sam
Just had a shit. Nowt unusual with that. But I did it facing the opposite way on the bog. Big Sam is just constantly innovating.
TheBig_Sam
The fear that my peachy rump would spill over the seat and my faeces would slide out and onto the floor provided such an adrenaline rush.
TheBig_Sam
Didn't though. My log nestled snuggly in the pot like a dormouse snoozing in the bath. Innovation should never come at the expense of logic.
TheBig_Sam
One of the 'Mortal Kombat' films is on TV. I'm the f***ing master of that game. Once beat Emma Forbes 27 times in a row. She had no answer.
TheBig_Sam
She got all stroppy about her humiliation, so Big Sam switched off the SNES, laid her down by the fire and made love to her until she cried.
TheBig_Sam
I should point out - her tears were a result of the tenderness and sheer magnificence of my intercourse. Not terror. Full consent was given.
TheBig_Sam
Before she reached climax, I hilariously roared "finished her!" Then once I'd done the same, I stood up and declared: "Big Sam.. wins!"
One of the 'Mortal Kombat' films is on TV. I'm the f***ing master of that game. Once beat Emma Forbes 27 times in a row. She had no answer.
TheBig_Sam
She got all stroppy about her humiliation, so Big Sam switched off the SNES, laid her down by the fire and made love to her until she cried.
TheBig_Sam
I should point out - her tears were a result of the tenderness and sheer magnificence of my intercourse. Not terror. Full consent was given.
TheBig_Sam
Before she reached climax, I hilariously roared "finished her!" Then once I'd done the same, I stood up and declared: "Big Sam.. wins!"
BHAFC_Pandapops
Citation Needed
- Feb 16, 2011
- 2,844
TheBig_Sam
Big Sam is ready. Ready for Millwall. Ready to take the Lion by the minge and finger it into submission. By Christ, Big Sam is ready.
TheBig_Sam
Was gonna stand on roof of our coach as we enter The Den, showcasing my karate moves & placing the Millwallians in a state of pure terror.
TheBig_Sam
Security won't have it, though. "To devastating an entrance, Big Sam," they said. "You'll scare 'em into forfeiting the game." Fair do's.
TheBig_Sam
I do kinda like the Millwall though. I like how they don't bother pronouncing the L's in the team's name. They've got better shit to do.
TheBig_Sam
How am I motivating 'em? By standing in the centre of the room - topless - punching a slab of beef that's hung from the ceiling. That's how.
After the game....
TheBig_Sam
Most goalless draws aren't all that magnificent are they? Most men aren't Big f***ing Sam, though. Millwall - you have been spared. For now.
Big Sam is ready. Ready for Millwall. Ready to take the Lion by the minge and finger it into submission. By Christ, Big Sam is ready.
TheBig_Sam
Was gonna stand on roof of our coach as we enter The Den, showcasing my karate moves & placing the Millwallians in a state of pure terror.
TheBig_Sam
Security won't have it, though. "To devastating an entrance, Big Sam," they said. "You'll scare 'em into forfeiting the game." Fair do's.
TheBig_Sam
I do kinda like the Millwall though. I like how they don't bother pronouncing the L's in the team's name. They've got better shit to do.
TheBig_Sam
How am I motivating 'em? By standing in the centre of the room - topless - punching a slab of beef that's hung from the ceiling. That's how.
After the game....
TheBig_Sam
Most goalless draws aren't all that magnificent are they? Most men aren't Big f***ing Sam, though. Millwall - you have been spared. For now.
TWOCHOICEStom
Well-known member
Chris_Highwind
New member
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
Sometimes I wish I could get on a spaceship and fly off to a faraway planet and hang out with aliens and experience something incredible.
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
But instead I have to watch 11 ***** get done by a man that's actually called Jos Hooiveld. Useless set of bastards.
Before and after our game this season with West Ham:
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
In the dressing room. John Carew has just put his long, slender hand in the air. "Is it true that this Brighton place is full of the gays?"
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
"It is true, son" replied a scheming Big Sam. "And if you don't score tonight, son, they're all gonna bum you into retirement."
24 Oct
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
Hat-trick guaranteed.
24 Oct
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
Job done. Big Sam has once again straddled the magnificent steed of tactical bravery and rode it majestically into the sunset of victory.
24 Oct
Sometimes I wish I could get on a spaceship and fly off to a faraway planet and hang out with aliens and experience something incredible.
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
But instead I have to watch 11 ***** get done by a man that's actually called Jos Hooiveld. Useless set of bastards.
Before and after our game this season with West Ham:
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
In the dressing room. John Carew has just put his long, slender hand in the air. "Is it true that this Brighton place is full of the gays?"
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
"It is true, son" replied a scheming Big Sam. "And if you don't score tonight, son, they're all gonna bum you into retirement."
24 Oct
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
Hat-trick guaranteed.
24 Oct
TheBig_Sam notBigSam
Job done. Big Sam has once again straddled the magnificent steed of tactical bravery and rode it majestically into the sunset of victory.
24 Oct