Best man speech!!

[imissworthing2]

Please help NSC.

I have to give a best man speech this thursday and havent prepared a word yet. Can anyone recommend any good websites to get me started/ have a speech that I could borrow and erase your blokes name with mine?

Problem is that, without going into too much detail, I don't know this guy v.well at all. I have no idea about the usual things that go in a speech like his 1st girlfriend/job/what he was like growing up.

This is probably the reason why I haven't started it yet. The panic is throwing all sort of alternatives into my mind but I really don't want to spend a week in hospital

 

[Lush]

Previous thread: I don't expect much has changed in the world of best man's speeches

Best man speech

 

[Tricky Dicky]

a) You don't know this bloke well
b) You've only just started to think about it for Thurs

....... doesn't bode well, does it ?

 

[Bold Seagull]

Please help NSC.

I have to give a best man speech this thursday and havent prepared a word yet. Can anyone recommend any good websites to get me started/ have a speech that I could borrow and erase your blokes name with mine?

Problem is that, without going into too much detail, I don't know this guy v.well at all. I have no idea about the usual things that go in a speech like his 1st girlfriend/job/what he was like growing up.

This is probably the reason why I haven't started it yet. The panic is throwing all sort of alternatives into my mind but I really don't want to spend a week in hospital

The best Best Man speeches I have heard are ones that are honest, and don't try to be too funny. Recycled one liners such as 'even the cake is in tears' will generally get a groan rather than a laugh. I'd say structure it around what you do know about your mate, even if only in his recent past. Keep it down to say 5mins, 10mins max. don't stray into making things up for the sake of a longer speech.

The best man websites can be helpful, but they are mostly recycled old tosh.

 

[daveinprague]

I had my fathers speech on a phone that died as soon as it was time... :-( So, had to wing it... Women actually boo'd at one point, but this was countered by men cheering haha...


The best man actually read out a litany of crime concerning my daughters new husband. Not wise with a couple of members of the Met at the reception.

 

[MattBackHome]

My tip: Make it heartfelt - or in this case, at least as heartfelt as you can be.

 

[shaolinpunk]

Start by holding some notes and looking a bit nervous.

"I hope you don't mind, but I was a bit nervous so I did some lines..."

Drag your hand across your nose, snorting loudly (exaggerate the movement)

"...and now I don't give a f***"

 

[Publius Ovidius]

Steer well clear of calling the wife's mother a milf, the grooms mother shaggable and the bridesmaids ( dependant on age obviously) top totty.

Mention the grooms choice of normal attire, how long he spends in shoe shops, his personal hygene habits and mistakes he has made in previous relationships, but leave out any involving animals and household implements.

Don't critisise the bride's dress even if she looks like a blamange or little bo peep.

Finally and MOST IMPORTANTLY, do not mention what went on during the stag do ( or rumous concerning the hen do, a plastic chicken and a male stripper with a 16 inch appendage)

Apart from that have a lovely time and make sure you eat as much of the wedding cake that is possible without being sick

 

[imissworthing2]

Thank you all,

Yep Lush I forgot the no.1 rule of NSC.... The search function.

At this stage I would be more than happy if it wasnt a complete disaster. It'll be fine once I get going I'm sure. Biggest problem is all the guests are my future inlaws too, has me petrified!!!

He's into tattoes(sp) and exotic animals, both things I know fook all about. Any ideas?

 

[Publius Ovidius]

actually I just noticed you live in the valleys...if that is wales, they all love stories relating to creeping up and buggering sheep. that will go down really well

 

[LennyD]

Did my 1st one on Saturday. Was bricking it. Just keep it personal, remember not everybody will have the same sense of humour as yourself, and enjoy it.

Oh and i agree with not using websites etc, everybody who does uses the same 'material' and for anybody that has been to more than one wedding in the last 5 years, can be a little dull.

 

[imissworthing2]

Start by holding some notes and looking a bit nervous.

"I hope you don't mind, but I was a bit nervous so I did some lines..."

Drag your hand across your nose, snorting loudly (exaggerate the movement)

"...and now I don't give a f***"

Brilliant, from the limited research I am currently doing this would go under the "Icebreakers for a nervous best man" category.

 

[imissworthing2]

actually I just noticed you live in the valleys...if that is wales, they all love stories relating to creeping up and buggering sheep. that will go down really well

Yeah I live in wales but the wedding is in plymouth. Has given me afew ideas tho regarding some harmless jibes at the west country and possibly abit of self deprecation re myself and sheep

 

[imissworthing2]

Ok 1 paragraph done, they all know I'm a big football fan so it should work... I hope


"I have known Tony for some time now. We first met when he moved to plymouth and I can recall, with some embarrassment, that I tried at every opportunity to introduce him to the loves of my life.It took some stern words from Emma my fiancee for me to finally realise the error of my ways, and to stop trying to get Tony drunk and turn him into a Brighton fan. The free shirt and tickets, the pictures of the cheer leaders, he returned them all"

Any comments or improvements welcome....

 

[stss30]

Ok 1 paragraph done, they all know I'm a big football fan so it should work... I hope


"I have known Tony for some time now. We first met when he moved to plymouth and I can recall, with some embarrassment, that I tried at every opportunity to introduce him to the loves of my life.It took some stern words from Emma my fiancee for me to finally realise the error of my ways, and to stop trying to get Tony drunk and turn him into a Brighton fan. The free shirt and tickets, the pictures of the cheer leaders, he returned them all"

Any comments or improvements welcome....

I'd say it was best just to make bullet points about topics rather than to write the whole thing. Sounds much more natural.

 

[Publius Ovidius]

not much abuse in there!

 

[Bold Seagull]

Brilliant, from the limited research I am currently doing this would go under the "Icebreakers for a nervous best man" category.

The best start I heard,

"I haven't been asked to do a speech since I was at school when I was asked to do the Lords Prayer at assembly, I was so nervous I forget the words. Anyway this time I've written everything down so I should be fine....[pause].....Our father, who....."

Great opening, had the room in stitches from the off.

 

[imissworthing2]

The best start I heard,

"I haven't been asked to do a speech since I was at school when I was asked to do the Lords Prayer at assembly, I was so nervous I forget the words. Anyway this time I've written everything down so I should be fine....[pause].....Our father, who....."

Great opening, had the room in stitches from the off.

Thats goin straight in, opener sorted,

I'm finding it really hard to slag him off, most of the stuff on the net refers back to stupid things they've done in the past or when they were kinds.

I think I'm gonna try and find something funny about his tattoes and animals which he has alot of both.

Anybody have anything funny to say about lots of tattoes and spiders, lizards and snakes

Thanks again

 

[Sheebo]

The best start I heard,

"I haven't been asked to do a speech since I was at school when I was asked to do the Lords Prayer at assembly, I was so nervous I forget the words. Anyway this time I've written everything down so I should be fine....[pause].....Our father, who....."

Great opening, had the room in stitches from the off.

That's bold! I started my groom one with 'I'd like to start with a very important and heart felt thank you. I'd like to thank Brighton & Hove Albion for a fantastic 3 points at Southend last night that meant we were top of the league when I was married at 3 oclock today.'

 

[drew]

a) You don't know this bloke well
b) You've only just started to think about it for Thurs

....... doesn't bode well, does it ?

On this basis, can you make sure it's recorded so you can share the audience silence with us at a later date!!!!!!

Ok 1 paragraph done, they all know I'm a big football fan so it should work... I hope


"I have known Tony for some time now. We first met when he moved to plymouth and I can recall, with some embarrassment, that I tried at every opportunity to introduce him to the loves of my life.It took some stern words from Emma my fiancee for me to finally realise the error of my ways, and to stop trying to get Tony drunk and turn him into a Brighton fan. The free shirt and tickets, the pictures of the cheer leaders, he returned them all" Unfortunately, the other love of my life he did try a few times. No hard feelings but Emma and I did remain friends, just!!!!!

Any comments or improvements welcome....