Bell Cheeses at work

[hans kraay fan club]

We aren't allowed earphones.

Jesus.

Welcome to HELL.

 

[Badger]

I'm still not completely convinced it isn't a JOKE website, I mean look at some of this stuff:

....nope, me neither.

 

[Postman Pat]

We aren't allowed earphones.

How do you get through the day without going on a killing spree. If it wasn't for headphones and Spotify/TMS I would have beaten someone to death with their own phone by now.

 

[Uncle Buck]

I'm still not completely convinced it isn't a JOKE website, I mean look at some of this stuff:

....nope, me neither.

They honestly teach this stuff.

Another favourite was the SAFe model...

 

[hans kraay fan club]

How do you get through the day without going on a killing spree. If it wasn't for headphones and Spotify/TMS I would have beaten someone to death with their own phone by now.

Yes, that.

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

I'm still not completely convinced it isn't a JOKE website, I mean look at some of this stuff:

....nope, me neither.

My favourite is 'The Price Corridor of the Mass'. A truly wonderful heading.

 

[daveinprague]

Hate those *******s with headphones...they think nobody can hear the music :-D


...sent whilst wearing my headphones...

 

[Badger]

It reminds me of graphics they used to have on The Day Today

 

[Hiney]

I'm still not completely convinced it isn't a JOKE website, I mean look at some of this stuff:

....nope, me neither.

Jesus

 

[Simster]

Jesus

Yes, this.

 

[FamilyGuy]

Here's a conundrum:

This morning I was late into the office by 40 minutes because I had to take my Granddaughter to playschool. (first time this has ever happened)
I am early EVERY day and only ever take 30 minutes for lunch and not the hour we are allowed.
My Boss is late EVERY day by at least 15 minutes because he takes his little princess (dog) to Doggy Day care.
My Boss is currently having a few days off.
My Boss has just e-mailed me to complain I was late and why didn't I let anyone know.
How in the name of Jebus does he know if he's off.

There is a snake in the grass here somewhere.

Simple - ask him how he knew?

Politely give him the reasons why you were late - and that its your first time - then simply ask him how he knew as he's not in the office? Perhaps add that if you knew he was contactable while on holiday then you could have told him you'd be late.

 

[Notters]

I'm still not completely convinced it isn't a JOKE website, I mean look at some of this stuff:

....nope, me neither.

Product/serivce types?

 

[Uncle Buck]

Product/serivce types?

That is probably one of the few bits in there that makes any sense...

 

[Kinky Gerbil]

How do you get through the day without going on a killing spree. If it wasn't for headphones and Spotify/TMS I would have beaten someone to death with their own phone by now.

On that note, people that sing along REALLY loudly to the radio, no one wants to hear you sing, that is why we put the radio on and didn't ask you

 

[Norman Potting]

This was also a catch phrase at the place where whistle text boy worked, used in exactly that context. I suspect there are people who make fortunes running training courses that explain the difference between this, "smoke testing" and "risk based testing".

Came across "smoke testing" 10+ years ago in my last office job as a humble UAT (more jargon). None of us really had it clearly explained what it actually was.

 

[Norman Potting]

Oh. My. Word.

That is MAGNIFICENT

I've been out of Office/Corporate Cluster****ery for about 16 years now, but one of the things that used to really get on my TITS, was the constant use of these RIDICULOUS phrases.

I did NOT want to 'build a Straw Man', I wanted to make a list of what we had to do. I didn't want to 'run it up the flagpole and see who salutes'. I hated 'blue sky thinking' The final STRAW came when various Managers started a huge corporate WANKFEST over 'Zeitgeist' and even started spunking huge chunks of BUDGET on STUPID posters, coasters, pens and other various TAT, emblazoned with assorted meaningless DRIVEL.

COCKS

The only Straw Man I did want to build would be a huge great EFFIGY that I could light and THROW all the pathetic insignificant TOSSPIECES to their death.

I'm having a good day today

It's a very big YES from me regarding strawman - once again no one in the office really knew what enthusiastic jargon boy boss was on about but we didn't have the guts to do an "Emperor's New Clothes" on him and ask for it to be explained in simple terms. Has anyone Hiney Art - ed a Straw Man yet?
It

 

[Mackenzie]

OK, I've held out long enough. This thread is MAGNIFICENT. First time poster, OK?

This may in fact overlap one of two other threads but my bell cheese is a JARGONISTA. Every bloody staff meeting, every "touch base" meeting, etc. is a veritiable fiesta of BEACONICITY. "Blue sky thinking", "30,000 foot level" (tho last week it was 50,000 feet, not sure what happened), issues with becoming "silo-ed", "drilling down" to a "granular" level, and producing "collateral" to satisfy funders...

Then more recently, the veritable HOLY GRAIL. We were invited to "mindwalk." I suspect this was in fact an invitation to Blue Sky Think at the 10,000 foot level but cannot be certain. Oh, and the "metrics" and "protocols". HEAD SPINNING stuff.

On the plus side, however, no dogs and no whales.

This post has come as a bit of a blow to me Ken. My perception of you spending your days swinging gently on a hammock sipping Mai Thai's whilst sleepily keeping an eye on the passing Hula girls has been torpedoed.

Oh dear.

 

[MattBackHome]

On that note, people that sing along REALLY loudly to the radio, no one wants to hear you sing, that is why we put the radio on and didn't ask you

Worse, for me, is people who DRUM along to the radio on their desks.

 

[Curious Orange]

Came across "smoke testing" 10+ years ago in my last office job as a humble UAT (more jargon). None of us really had it clearly explained what it actually was.

Its just a simple test of the basic functionality of a new build of piece of software to ensure that there isn't anything glaringly wrong with it before you start looking deeper into the areas where the development team have been breaking changing things. Also know as a sanity or confidence test.

* removes software tester hat *

 

[Badger]

Its just a simple test of the basic functionality of a new build of piece of software to ensure that there isn't anything glaringly wrong with it before you start looking deeper into the areas where the development team have been improving things. Also know as a sanity or confidence test.

* removes software tester hat *

Small correction