[Football] Behaviour at kids Sunday morning football

[Peacehaven Wild Kids]

As the father of a 14 year old child Ref, this has caught my eye. He’s still learning his trade and touch wood he’s had no serious issues so far, however there is still that undercurrent, and I wouldn’t say his experience so far has been pleasurable as some of the coaches at the very least make him feel uncomfortable, If you are one of those coaches of an U11 team but think you’re managing Chelsea, I’ll happily forward you the lengthy list of kids matches that are postponed every Sunday due to no available ref.

NB he gets little support from the linesman as they are simply volunteers so might be a coach from one of the teams or even a parent who is usually biased or not up to date with rules and procedures.

As a side issue, anyone that thinks he’s doing it for the money, after the cost of the two day course he did, his equipment, shirt, shorts, socks, two pairs of boots etc. he might start turning a profit by about 2025

[the following was taken from Facebook]

One of the largest youth leagues in the country has today put the following statement out to all member clubs.

"The behaviour and conduct of far too many players, managers, coaches, and spectators is the worst we have ever seen in the history of the Northumberland Football League.

The discipline reports coming in over the first 10 weeks of the season, just to Northumberland Football Leagues, have given us and the County FA an incredible amount of work, on top of everything else we do to keep you playing football.
I am not going to lecture adults on how they should behave, it's not my job to teach you the difference between right and wrong, but what I will say is THIS BEHAVIOUR STOPS, AND IT STOPS NOW!

Starting from Saturday 18th November, any team found guilty of any discipline, welfare or misconduct charge WILL BE REMOVED FROM FIXTURES. If those fixtures include cup/competition games, then you will forfeit your place in those competitions.
Teams playing at central venues where parents are found to be acting in an unsuitable manner, verbally or physically abusing/ shouting at a referee, steward, league official, venue staff or opposition coaches/managers, the club in question will have EVERY PARENT/GUARDIAN/SPECTATOR from every team banned from every central venue.

This is children’s football - there is no place for abuse of any type - if you cannot watch a group of children playing football without feeling the need to abuse/shout at a child be they a player or a referee, or you cannot spend an hour and a half without swearing at the opposition coach or confronting a group of parents - then please ask yourself if you have chosen the correct way to spend your weekends.

We are a Respect League and Respect towards players, the officials and each other is the minimum standard which we will accept - NO RESPECT = NO GAME."

For and on behalf of the league management committee,
Lee Scott
League Secretary

#EnoughIsEnough

 

[AK74]

 

[Foul Play Rocks]

Some of the goings on in grass roots football has been a real eye opener for me. I hope all the county leagues take a zero tolerance on such things and actually see it through although I accept that’s probably easier said than done.

 

[Tubby Mondays]

My brother in law used to ref in the Leicester area 20 odd years ago and I attended a few games.

I couldnt believe what used to go on. Not just abuse during the games but threats and challenges to decisions in the car park after the game as well. On one occasion, in the car park as we were getting in the car with 2 under teenage kids, a woman claimed that an offside decision was wrong because 'Dave' said it was, but when asked to explain why it was wrong other than 'Dave' saying it was, was unable to elaborate.

I thought he was mad to give up his Saturdays and Sunday mornings and after a few years he decided he didnt need the abuse anymore.

It cant have got any better in the last 20 years.

 

[rippleman]

As the father of a 14 year old child Ref, this has caught my eye. He’s still learning his trade and touch wood he’s had no serious issues so far, however there is still that undercurrent, and I wouldn’t say his experience so far has been pleasurable as some of the coaches at the very least make him feel uncomfortable, If you are one of those coaches of an U11 team but think you’re managing Chelsea, I’ll happily forward you the lengthy list of kids matches that are postponed every Sunday due to no available ref.

NB he gets little support from the linesman as they are simply volunteers so might be a coach from one of the teams or even a parent who is usually biased or not up to date with rules and procedures.

As a side issue, anyone that thinks he’s doing it for the money, after the cost of the two day course he did, his equipment, shirt, shorts, socks, two pairs of boots etc. he might start turning a profit by about 2025

[the following was taken from Facebook]

One of the largest youth leagues in the country has today put the following statement out to all member clubs.

"The behaviour and conduct of far too many players, managers, coaches, and spectators is the worst we have ever seen in the history of the Northumberland Football League.

The discipline reports coming in over the first 10 weeks of the season, just to Northumberland Football Leagues, have given us and the County FA an incredible amount of work, on top of everything else we do to keep you playing football.
I am not going to lecture adults on how they should behave, it's not my job to teach you the difference between right and wrong, but what I will say is THIS BEHAVIOUR STOPS, AND IT STOPS NOW!

Starting from Saturday 18th November, any team found guilty of any discipline, welfare or misconduct charge WILL BE REMOVED FROM FIXTURES. If those fixtures include cup/competition games, then you will forfeit your place in those competitions.
Teams playing at central venues where parents are found to be acting in an unsuitable manner, verbally or physically abusing/ shouting at a referee, steward, league official, venue staff or opposition coaches/managers, the club in question will have EVERY PARENT/GUARDIAN/SPECTATOR from every team banned from every central venue.

This is children’s football - there is no place for abuse of any type - if you cannot watch a group of children playing football without feeling the need to abuse/shout at a child be they a player or a referee, or you cannot spend an hour and a half without swearing at the opposition coach or confronting a group of parents - then please ask yourself if you have chosen the correct way to spend your weekends.

We are a Respect League and Respect towards players, the officials and each other is the minimum standard which we will accept - NO RESPECT = NO GAME."

For and on behalf of the league management committee,
Lee Scott
League Secretary

#EnoughIsEnough

That was approx the age when I qualified and started reffing kids games. The parents / coaches weren't so bad then but "club linos" have forever been a problem. I would warn them before the game that if I caught them cheating once, I wouldn't take another flag from them for the rest of the game.

A word to the wise, always get the club lino to do his own fullback as it is better to have a bent offside than a bent goal.


From what I've heard from parents of young kids playing now, I'm not sure I would have stuck with it today. Every parent thinks their kid is the next Messi and wants to let everybody know it.

There has to be change and that can only come from kids telling their mouthy, abusive parents to shut it or they can't go. Can't think of any other way. I commend the Northumberland FA for their stance and just hope they follow through with the sanctions. It would be useful I think for the FA to issue this edict nationally. It is such a shame when young kids with jumpers for goalposts cant enjoy a bit of a kick around without cretinous parents shouting abuse at all and sundry. Isn't it? Hm?

 

[Guinness Boy]

I coached my son’s team for a while but was always looking to pass on to a better/ more experienced coach. I’d started simply because there was no one else.

When we got another coach I moved on to running the line for us. It was when I was running marathons so it was extra training and I always kept up but plenty of other teams just used to get a random parent to do it, often a biased overweight chain smoker who couldn’t even spell offside.

The funniest incident was when a ball was heading out for a throw in and stopped in the badly mown grass. A fraction of it was touching the line but 75% of it was inside fully. The players had stopped so I shouted play on, and one of the opponents players came over. Even though I then told him not to pick it up, he did, so the ref gave handball.

At half time the ref- probably about 16-17 years old - was confronted on the pitch by four of the opposition parents including a bloke on a mobility scooter. In the end our coaches stepped in and asked them to leave the pitch. Their own coach was stoking it up even more.

Within our team we turned it into a big joke about the idiot in the mobility scooter but I’m not sure what would have happened had our coaches not intervened. And that was ONE game

 

[medwayseagull reborn]

This is not a new - I qualified as a referee back in the 70's. I lasted about three months because of the level of abuse. One of my last matches someone came onto the pitch with a vicious looking dog to confront one of the players. I found out subsequently that there had been previous history between the clubs players and supporters and this was in the lower reaches of the sunday league.

 

[Albion my Albion]

Some of those football parents should be tied up and gagged and force to watch 80 year old ladies undress.


We actually had a professional footballer who played for Buffalo (semi-pro actually) as a coach who was German-American and would cuss loudly in German on the pitch until we got into high school and figured out some of the things he was saying. He worked in the nearby steel mill which was owned by Bethlehem Steel of the Buffalo, NY area. His name was Herr Kugler and his wife was truly the greatest American soccer mom I ever knew. His son, Karl Jr. was pretty good but our best player was Hans Schuler who actually knew how to glide through the oppo's defense much like Mitoma.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Multiple TL;DRs there. But skim-reading, imagine being such a Grade-A c**t that you're projecting your wankyness with the same level of venom towards your kid(s) game as you do towards your stillborn football career and your next and last EPL game. Jeez

 

[POSKETT AT THE VALLEY]

Nothing new here. Around 1972/3 I was keeper in an U11’s game. Wondered what all the fuss was about on the sidelines when it became apparent that the two managers were having a dust up.

I’ve helped out as ref and Lino with youth football up to U15’s and yes you do have to be thick skinned. However, on occasion I’ve given some verbals back. Which didn’t help matters.

 

[Farehamseagull]

I spend most of every weekend at kids football matches as a parent and coach ranging from high standard grass root stuff to academy football and a lot of the time, the behaviour of parents and some of the coaches at grass roots level is absolutely disgusting. The coaches at academy level obviously behave but even there, the parents can be revolting. I had to speak to some parents yesterday to ask them to leave off the referee (who despite his aging, balding appearance was actually was a 45 year old double hard ex Naval officer and they would have probably regretted saying these things to him if the kids weren't around) as they were on his case all game. And these were, I would say judging by the way they dressed and spoke, middle class, 'educated' folk.

A lot of parents need a massive reality check about how good their kids are at football and their absolutely miniscule chance of making it as a pro. A lot of the time their desperation is embarrassing and leads to this ludicrous behaviour.

Full credit to your son, I don't know how and why he does it. I'm really concerned about the future of the game as I think it will get to the stage where we don't have any referees as quite frankly, I don't know why anyone would want to do it. And this is why I really don't like the likes of RDZ, Klopp, Arteta or any of the other managers and players behaving the way they do to referees, regardless of whether they've made mistakes as without doubt, the lack of respect to referees starts from the top and feeds down.

 

[Skaville]

My son played in a football tournament in the summer. He’s an u15. It was running way behind. Turned out the reason was four refs had walked out after being abused officiating the u9’s, one physically.

Also heard a story about a manager telling players, a ref and a welfare officer to eff off last month at Preston Park. Also u9’s!

 

[Fignon's Ponytail]

One of the best things I ever did was get out of kids football.

Like @Guinness Boy above, I started coaching (Saltdean Utd) purely because no-one else would do it for my sons team. After I stepped down after 3 seasons I carried on going to both my sons games (different age groups) purely as a spectator but, all the way up to U16 level when they finished, I hated it. The aggressiveness, the bad language, & the near violence between parents I witnessed on Sunday mornings just made me give up on football, at all levels, for good.

My eldest son lost interest as well and now despises football, even though he used to love the Sunday games with his mates when he was younger, & going on tour to Spain to play Academy teams, playing National tournaments etc. for Woodingdean.

Towards the end I stood away from everyone else, on my own, so I didn't have to witness any of the bad behavior up close, then used to go straight back to the car at the final whistle to wait for my lad(s). Didn't even stick around to chat to people I had known for years.

Cant say I miss those days at all. Anyone who chooses to get involved with grassroots football has to have incredibly thick skin to get anything out of it IMO.

 

[Skaville]

For balance, been to many matches where everything has passed without incident and respect shown. One thing that certainly doesn’t help is the attitude of players in the premier league. Kids copy their idols.

 

[Horses Arse]

My lad plays in the Surrey league. Generally fine though I find the coaches shouting out for decisions to the ref pretty poor. Whilst there isn't any direct and continuing challenge a young ref should be able to manage the kids without adults offering opions and judging their actions.

One incident where the very loud coach of a very loud team was shouting for absolutely everything. Ended up calling for my son to be booked by the ref for some minor thing - I told my son and his teammates to ignore the noise and to shut them up by playing the game and winning. The loud mouth twat then tried to start on me and when he got nowhere with that he then tried to make an official complaint that I'd told his kids to shut up. They were from an area near Croydon, which will be no surprise to anyone..

I've run the line a few times and have received terrible abuse for that. Always from my son, though I do tend to let my mind wander and enjoy watching the game rather than concentrating on what I'm supposed to be doing.

 

[matski_98]

My boy was a referee until a year ago for under-16 leagues in the Sussex area. What started out as a fun way to get a bit of extra money turned sour, and he would regularly come back from games in tears because of the abuse he got from managers and parents who were 'protecting their players'. There were a few clubs in and around the Eastbourne area which, when the call went out on a Friday, nobody wanted to referee because of the reputation of those clubs towards officials. He packed it in after a season because of the abuse.

Without that pipeline of youth referees coming up the ranks, what hope is there for decent referees in later years?

 

[dejavuatbtn]

As your lad is under 16, abuse becomes a child protection issue. It shouldn’t be happening and needs reporting if it does. Many years ago I got hauled up to scfa because of the behaviour of some of one of our team’s parents. It was indefensible and we were rightly fined and reprimanded. My only issue with under 16 refs is that their age should be disclosed to each manager beforehand so they understand the extra responsibility they, the parents and players have towards the referee.

 

[Greg Bobkin]

I only refereed one of Bobkin Jnr's games (must've been about U9/U10) and it ALL kicked off between both sets of players, coaches and parents. In the end, I had to effectively stop the whole thing, remind everyone that it's KIDS' FOOTBALL and then let them get on wtih it. Thankfully, all parties seemed to sort themselves out a bit after that, but I never volunteered again!

I'll occasionally run the line, not because I want to ( I can't stand it) but because if I don't then no other facker will. If that's the difference between the coaches doing what they should be doing (and NOT running the line) or a game going ahead or not, then I'll reluctantly step up. I'm mediocre at best and I get decisions wrong, but then it's not my job, I've had no training in it and, in the grand scheme of things, it's not exactly a life or death situation. And it's funny how, when I get criticism from the sidelines (opposition parents), the offer of THEM running the line in my place is always declined.

 

[BN9 BHA]

I spent years taking one son to football training on a Saturday and matches on a Sunday, I sometimes didn’t see my wife for long on a Sunday as she was taking the other son to matches.
Very much like @Fignon's Ponytail in post #13 I got to hate kids/youth football when it got to under 14s. I used to sometimes stand on my own with headphones in so I didn’t have to listen to idiot parents and some coaches.
Plenty of kids are far too gobby to refs and linos when they get to about 12

I never got involved in being a linesman as I would regularly hear them getting abused. I didn’t mind putting up or taking down goals, collecting corner flags, training cones etc.

 

[BNthree]

My son is in an academy and thankfully there’s not any problems unless a ref is shockingly bad. Then they might get a few comments but that’s it. As for other parents generally it’s fine but occasionally parents from “big clubs” academies might get prickly if losing. Very rarely is anything ever said directly.