Baffling lyrics

[Man of Harveys]

Not misheard lyrics but ones which just leave you, well, baffled.

What does "Wembley" refer to in this fine offering from Ian Dury? "He wants a bit of Wembley up his Ponders End"? - OK, I'm man of the world enough to think it's probably a reference to sticking something up your bottom. But a 100,000 capacity stadium? Or am I missing the point something chronic?

He’s got his little Y-fronts and his got his little vest
He’s got his little parting in his hair
He’s got his little trousers and he’s got his little shoes
And he wants a bit of Wembley up ‘you-know-where’

He’s got his little jacket and he’s got his little shirt
He’s got his little notif on his tie
He’s got his little raincoat and he’s got his little hat
And he wants a bit of Wenbley up his ‘I yi yi’

Don’t call Harry a human potato, don’t call Harry a spud
Don’t call Harry a walking King Edward, Harry’s made of flesh and blood

He’s got his little office and he’s got his little chair
He’s got his little cactus in it’s pot
He’s got his little memos and he’s got his little job
And he wants a bit of Wembley up his ‘you-know-what’

He’s got his little pension and he’s got his little plan
He’s got his little policy in hand
He’s got his little lap-top and he’s got his little pen
And wants a bit of Wembley up his Rio Grande

Don’t call Harry a human potato, don’t fry Harry Tonight
Don’t give Harry a chip on his shoulder, Harry’s doing alright

Mash it up, mash it up, mash it up Harry
Mash it up, mash it up, mash it up Harry
Mash it up, mash it up, mash it up Harry
Mash it up, mash it up, mash it up Harry

He’s got his little morgage and he’s got his little lounge
He’s got his little bit of England to defend
He’s got his little telly and he’s got his little phone
And he wants a bit of Wembley up his Ponder’s End

He’s got his little garden and he’s got his little shed
He’s got his little mower on the grass
He’s got his little garage and he’s got his little car
And he wants a bit of Wembley up his Khyber Pass

Don’t call Harry a human Potato, don’t roast him on a spike
I think Harry’s a real Golden Wonder, let Harry be the spud you like
Don’t call Harry a human potato, don’t call Harry a spud
Don’t call Harry a walking King Edward, Harry’s made of flesh and blood

Mash it up, mash it up, mash it up Harry
Mash it up, mash it up, mash it up Harry
Mash it up, mash it up, mash it up Harry
Mash it up, mash it up, mash it up Harry

We’re on our way to Wembley, we’re on the Wembley Way
We’re on our way to Wembley, we’re on the Wembley Way
We’re on our way to Wembley, we’re on the Wembley Way
We’re on our way to Wembley, we’re on the Wembley Way
We’re on our way to Wembley, we’re on the Wembley Way
We’re on our way to Wembley, we’re on the Wembley Way
We’re on our way to Wembley, we’re on the Wembley Way
We’re on our way to Wembley, we’re on the Wembley Way....

 

[Da Man Clay]

Scaramoose, scaramoose can you do the fandango?

Freddy you were a quality songwriter and peformer but what the f***ing hell were you on when writing this, in fact what were you on when you were writing most of this song?

 

[O Lads]

Scaramoose, scaramoose can you do the fandango?

Freddy you were a quality songwriter and peformer but what the f***ing hell were you on when writing this, in fact what were you on when you were writing most of this song?

Agreed

 

[Barrel of Fun]

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly.
I'm crying.

Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come.
Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday.
Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus,
coo coo coochoo

Mister City P'liceman sitting
Pretty little p'licemen in a row.
See how they fly like Lucy in the Sky, see how they run.
I'm crying. I'm cry------------ing,
I'm crying. I'm cry------------ing.

Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye.
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess,
Boy, you been a naughty girl you let your Knickers down.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus,
goo goo gajoob

Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun.
If the sun don't come, you get a tan
From standing in the English rain.
I am the eggmen, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus,
goo goo gajoobgoo goo gajoob

Expert texpert choking smokers,
Don't you think the joker laughs at you? (ho ho ho, he, he he, ha, ha, ha)
See how they smile like pigs in a sty, see how they snied.
I'm crying.

Semolina pilchard, climbing up the Eiffel Tower.
Element'ry penguin singing Hari Krishna.
Man, you should have seen them Kicking Edgar Allan Poe.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus,
goo goo gajoobgoo goo gajoobgoo goo gajoobgoo goo gajoob joob
(rhythmical speaking along with juba's).
Juba juba juba, juba, juba, juba, juba, juba, juba juba. Juba juba.....
(speaking)

--Repeat (eventually juba's will stop) and fade until end.--
during the fade out background vocals:
[Simultaneously:] 'Everybody's got one' and 'Oompa, oompa, stick it up your joompa' [jumper]



Bizarre. Drug induced, no doubt.

 

[tedebear]

Not misheard lyrics but ones which just leave you, well, baffled.

What does "Wembley" refer to in this fine offering from Ian Dury? "He wants a bit of Wembley up his Ponders End"? - OK, I'm man of the world enough to think it's probably a reference to sticking something up your bottom. But a 100,000 capacity stadium? Or am I missing the point something chronic?

Got me wondering now too !! Good song though...

 

[Man of Harveys]

Bizarre. Drug induced, no doubt.

No doubt, but genius nonetheless. Rather than attempt a half-hearted attempt at decyphering it here, might I recommend this book? It's well worth reading for more than just "Walrus" anyway.

 

[Jam The Man]

Whilst influenced by drugs, apparently there are barely any Beatles tracks (masters) recorded whilst on drugs as apparently when they listened to them the day after, they always sounded appalling.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

Excellent. Thanks for the book tip and I always assumed they were as high as kites when recording, Jam.

 

[Easy 10]

At home his house awaits him
He unlocks the door
Thinking once there was a sea here
But there never was a door

A-Ha - f***ing Norwegian mentalists. They can't even be bothered to rhyme their words, they just repeat the same ones instead. And it was only "DOOR" anyway - you telling me they got some mental block on finding something to rhyme with DOOR ?

Thats rubbish, that is. In fact, its very POOR.

 

[Frutos]

This here is the place I will be staying.
There isn't a number, you can call the pay phone.
Let it ring a long, long, long, long time.
If I don't pick up, hang up, call back, let it ring some more.
Oh......
If I don't pick up, pick up... The sidewinder sleeps, sleeps,
sleeps in a coil

Call me when you try to wake her up. Call me when you try to wake her.
Call me when you try to wake her up. Call me when you try to wake her.
Call me when you try to wake her up. Call me when you try to wake her.

There are scratches all around the coin slot
Like a heartbeat, baby trying to wake up,
But this machine can only swallow money.
You can't lay a patch by computer design.
It's just a lot of stupid, stupid signs.
Tell her,
Tell her she can kiss my ass, then laugh and say that you were only kidding.
That way she'll know that it's really, really, really, really me.

Call me when you try to wake her up. Call me when you try to wake her.
Call me when you try to wake her up. Call me when you try to wake her.
Call me when you try to wake her up. Call me when you try to wake her.

Baby, instant soup doesn't really grab me.
Today I need something more sub-sub-sub-substantial.
A can of beans or black-eyed peas, some Nescafé and ice,
A candy bar, a falling star, or a reading of Doctor Seuss;

Call me when you try to wake her up. Call me when you try to wake her.
Call me when you try to wake her up. Call me when you try to wake her.
Call me when you try to wake her up. Call me when you try to wake her.

The cat in the hat came back, wrecked a lot of havoc on the way,
Always had a smile and a reason to pretend.
But their world has flat backgrounds and little need to sleep but to dream.
The sidewinder sleeps on his back.

Call me when you try to wake her up. Call me when you try to wake her.
Call me when you try to wake her up. Call me when you try to wake her.
I can always sleep standing up. Call me when you try to wake her.

Call me when you try to wake her up. Call me when you try to wake her.
Call me when you try to wake her up. Call me when you try to wake her.
I can always sleep standing up. Call me when you try to wake her.

Call me when you try to wake her up. Call me when you try to wake her.
I can always sleep standing up. Call me when you try to wake her.
I can always sleep standing up. Call me when you try to wake her.
We've got to moogie, moogie, move on this one.


Anyone got any idea what any of that lot means, lol? (the song is called 'The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite' by R.E.M. for anyone who didn't know)

 

[zefarelly]

having written songs, performed, recorded and experimented with drugs, and tried all at the same time I can safely say that very little if any good quality music is produced under the influence.

Most certainly songs are influenced my the altered state of mind when under the influence but its definitely not productive.

I remember having a rehearsal, then the band consuming a large banana cake with cream which had a shed load of hashish in it . . after about half an hour we where reduced to jamming an endless version of a progish psychedelic track re wrote called 'living asleep' then all collapsed in a heap and started giggling a lot. great fun but harldy ground breaking !

HP Lovecraft . . .theres some trippy lyrics . . . and most Love songs are pretty far out . . .man

 

[Trufflehound]

Thats rubbish, that is. In fact, its very POOR.

And I'm now rolling on the FLOOR.

Do tell us MORE.



And don't spare the GORE. In fact, keep it to the FORE.


Until we're all SORE.

 

[Trufflehound]

And I'm now rolling on the FLOOR.

Do tell us MORE.



And don't spare the GORE. In fact, keep it to the FORE.


Until we're all SORE.

On second thoughts, that's starting to sound like a Rupert Bear ANNUAL...






I must print it off and feed it to my SPANIEL.

 

[Easy 10]

On second thoughts, that's starting to sound like a Rupert Bear ANNUAL...






I must print it off and feed it to my SPANIEL.

I don't like automatics. I drive a MANUAL.

And I have a nephew called DANIEL.

 

[Trufflehound]

I like this rhyming, it brightens my DAY.

It's a shame other posters will think I'm GAY.

 

[Lammy]

What's she gonna look like with a Chimney on her?


Like a house?

 

[Lush]

At home his house awaits him
He unlocks the door
Thinking once there was a sea here
But there never was a door

A-Ha - f***ing Norwegian mentalists. They can't even be bothered to rhyme their words, they just repeat the same ones instead. And it was only "DOOR" anyway - you telling me they got some mental block on finding something to rhyme with DOOR ?

Thats rubbish, that is. In fact, its very POOR.

Oi! You leave a-ha ALONE. That's not POOR that's Bergman-esque that is.

However I'll give you, from The Blood That Moves The Body.

"Red stains on "Eyes of A Blue Dog"
My pain fades as interiors fog"

Which is a load of testikkels.

 

[Da Man Clay]

What's she gonna look like with a Chimney on her?


Like a house?

How about "Life is a leamon, and I want my money back"

No, no, no Meatloaf I think you will find life is anything but a lemon and I dont believe I paid an entrance fee when I entered this world.

 

[Easy 10]

Oi! You leave a-ha ALONE. That's not POOR that's Bergman-esque that is.

However I'll give you, from The Blood That Moves The Body.

"Red stains on "Eyes of A Blue Dog"
My pain fades as interiors fog"

Which is a load of testikkels.

I reckon they wrote most of their crap lyrics in norwegian, and then struggled to translate it into english. They COULD come up with some good stuff though:

To find her again
Upon this my dreams are depending
Through the dark
Ascends the pounding of her heart
Next to mine
She's the sweetest love I could find

But then they'll go and ruin it with...

Fishing for a merangue in Nooorsgoorden harbour
My rod made of kettle, I caught an old Lada
I threw it back but it followed me home
My cousin now says I should wrap it in foam


Utter gibberish.

 

[Cian]

"Here comes love, its like honey
You can't buy it with money"

Erm, not sure about love but I thought Tesco sold honey. But hey, expecting decent lyrics out of a pushing-50 heavy Pernod drinker is a bit much....