AVOIDING SCORES - a traumatic tale of anger and frustration.

[Easy 10]

Gutted to be flying back from my holiday last night (the 4 and a half hour flight took off at 9.15 local time, with the match kicking off at 9.45), I thought I'd attempt to avoid the England score, and watch a recording of it when I got home.

During the flight, I put the headphones on and fixed all my attention on the SHITTEST film I have seen in years (The Haunted Mansion with Eddie Murphy) in an attempt to block out any messages. Half way through, to my horror, the film suddenly paused, and some mealy-mouthed, mincing effeminate air steward began to announce "ladies and gentlemen, we have a bit of news you may be interested in....". So I ripped the headphones out and stuffed my fingers in my ears and started the "LA LA LA LA" song. Tragically, it didn't drown out the collective "H'RAAAYY" that went round the cabin, with fists punching the air.

"Oh well", I thought. "I still avoided the actual score, and I know absolutely NOTHING about the game, so it'll still be worth watching when I get in...was it a draw ? Was it a crushing win ?"
I pretty much persuaded myself it weas definately still worth watching if I could avoid the score. And it went well. Nobody mentioned the game for the remainder of the flight, and I made every effort to avoid hearing snatches of anyones conversation. We landed, got through Immigration Control, waited FORTY-FIVE MINUTES to be allocated a conveyer belt to collect our luggage, and by then, I thought I was going to make it.

So we go upstairs to our conveyer belt, and there's these little digital displays hanging over the belts with the corresponding flight numbers (MYT448). I spy our flight number over conveyer belt 4, and as I make my way over to it, the display suddenly changes to:

ENGLAND 4 CROATIA 2

BASTARDS. One second, the basic, single-line digital box hanging from the ceiling is displaying merely what it is designed to display - the flight number. And the next second, totally without warning, it is broadcasting TOP SECRET (for me) International football results. What the f*** has that got to do with picking up your suitcases ? Was somebody having a laugh ?

I watched it in the end anyway, pleased at the result but with that weary "I-wonder-if-this-attack-is-our-second-goal" knowledge that completely takes the edge off any enjoyment.

Gatwick South Terminal - you have a LOT to answer for, you gobby shitehawks.

 

[Wardy]

Serves yourself right for taking an holiday during the euros

 

[Robot Chicken]

You must've known you wouldn't be able to avoid the result. Unless you were blindfolded. But who chooses to fly home when England's 3rd group game is on??

 

[Robot Chicken]

Blindfolded and wearing earphones as well, that is

 

[Yorkie]

You just know the cabby would have blabbed on the way home anyway

 

[Easy 10]

who chooses to fly home when England's 3rd group game is on??

Originally our flight was due to take off in the, afternoon and I'd have been back in plenty of time. But then the gits at "Travelcare" bumped us to a 9.15pm takeoff (as the small print confirms they can do - anywhere within a 12 hour window), so basically I was pushed over a barrell and brutally stuffed from behind.

 

[Biscuit]

lol quality easy mate..

 

[Robot Chicken]

Originally our flight was due to take off in the, afternoon and I'd have been back in plenty of time. But then the gits at "Travelcare" bumped us to a 9.15pm takeoff (as the small print confirms they can do - anywhere within a 12 hour window), so basically I was pushed over a barrell and brutally stuffed from behind.

Never rely on public transport!

 

[FG aka Football Genius.]

i remember avoiding an FA Cup result all day long ages ago when sitting down to MOTD highlights in the evening the prog began with "later we will be talking to match winner...." i wanted to kick the Tele but resisted sumhow! Annoying still only way to avoid it was lock yourself away out public eye or dont holiday at that time year!

 

[chips and gravy]

Sounds like the Likely Lads episode! Bet you were mighty pissed off though

 

[Dover]

I've tried to miss an Albion result at work, only for every relative to shout out the score as they walked in the ward.

At least you may have had the option to swear!

 

[Gwylan]

Originally our flight was due to take off in the, afternoon and I'd have been back in plenty of time. But then the gits at "Travelcare" bumped us to a 9.15pm takeoff (as the small print confirms they can do - anywhere within a 12 hour window), so basically I was pushed over a barrell and brutally stuffed from behind.

Bad luck Easy. I similar thing happened to me for the World Cup game against Argentina. My flight back should have touched down two hours before kick-off but, thanks to delays, it touched down just as the match kicked off. Needless to say, Stansted Airport didn't have the nous to think there might have been some interest in the game and set up a big screen, so I had to grab a taxi and demand that he took me to the nearest TV. Becks scored the penalty as I was in the cab and I arrived just in time for the last five minutes of the first half.

I also went to the theatre on the evening that England played Italy in the World Cup qualifier. I jumped straight in a cab (not trusting the stations not to play fair) and told the cabbie to turn his radio off and not say a word about the match. Amazingly, I managed to get home and not know the score. Bob and Terry would have been proud.

 

[alan partridge]

lol quality

I watched the game on the internet thanks to Aruban tv, a caribbean island with a population of 20,000(just found that out).

It was pretty good and amusing at half time. The program seemed to be sponsored by Burger King and the pundits had all sorts of BK products on the desk which basically looked like no one had bothered to clear up after lunch. Kept getting flashes of Lineker too as I think they were using the BBC program.

 

[Storer68]

I got an 8:00 train home - it wasn't hard not finding the result out, until I had to change trains at Haywards Heath and a huge cheer was emiitted by the regulars in the Burrell Arms

The M25 was spectaculalry empty tho

 

[Albion Rob]

Reminds me of what my nan did to my uncle.

He got her to record Pompey v Southampton (unfortunately most of my family are Pompey) while he was out and he got in at 10pm having made great efforts to avoid the score - which he achieved.

So he sits down and my dear old nan brings in his dinner just as the blue scum kick off. He takes his first mouthful of shepherd's pie when she chooses to remark: "I heard it was a good game, shame the was no goals though."

He wasn't happy.