An amusing Pardew story

[The Fifth Column]

£10m really isn't a lot these days. It might buy you a single Mile Jedinak or Yannick Bolasie, but it's hardly a huge amount to spend in the Premier League.

As for our squad, we're just fine with it thanks. Sign a left back and a striker in January and we'll be on our way to another season in the top flight next year. There isn't a single player in your team who would get into our next matchday squad, is there?

Oh you cheeky jester you! £10 million for Elbows Jedinak or cant cross Bolasie, haha. Of course I realise you are valuing them in Zaha pounds rather than Sterling so that makes sense.

It is certainly true that our respective squads are much further apart in terms of quality than the last time we played you and after a year of getting rid of our best players and replacing them with some bang average replacements I would be hard pressed to suggest any of our players would make any premier league squad. Mind you, I doubt whether many of your players would also merit inclusion in any other premier league squad and you remain a struggling premier league outfit who would no doubt be strong in the Championship on current strength.

 

[ThePaddy]

Oh you cheeky jester you! £10 million for Elbows Jedinak or cant cross Bolasie, haha. Of course I realise you are valuing them in Zaha pounds rather than Sterling so that makes sense.

It is certainly true that our respective squads are much further apart in terms of quality than the last time we played you and after a year of getting rid of our best players and replacing them with some bang average replacements I would be hard pressed to suggest any of our players would make any premier league squad. Mind you, I doubt whether many of your players would also merit inclusion in any other premier league squad and you remain a struggling premier league outfit who would no doubt be strong in the Championship on current strength.

Jedinak, Bolasie, Ward, Dann, Mcarthur, Gayle, Ledley, Bannan etc. would all be able to find another Premier League club if required.

I think you're underestimating how good Jedinak and Bolasie are. Milé has been utterly outstanding so far in the top flight and there are not many better defensive midfielders in the division. It also sounds like we'll struggle to keep Bolasie in January, as there are many interested PL clubs including Liverpool.