Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Here's a summary of the Albion squad which I have just written up for a Seagulls Predictions League I run with Gritt23...bearing in mind some people playing havn't got a clue about the Albion, or football in general for that matter, but they have to know who to choose as their Last Goalscorer in each match.
Have I been fair
Paul Watson (defender) Appearances: 16 (1) Goals: 0
Sadly, Watto is a shadow of the player he once was. Previously famed for the devastating accuracy of his free kicks, he could usually have been relied upon to curl in at least a couple of goals during a season, but not any more. Marginalised last season by poor form, injury, and the emergence of Adam Virgo, Watson will probably provide some experienced back-up from the bench, but not much else.
Adam Virgo (defender) Appearances: 23 (2) Goals: 2
Given his wings by Mark McGhee in the second half of last season, Virgo has flourished. Some solid displays in the centre of defence and at full-back has proved his versatility, and he has come on leaps and bounds over the last 12 months. Has attained permanent cult-status for scoring the last gasp goal against Swindon in the Playoffs when all looked lost, and followed this up by crashing his penalty high into the roof of the net in the penalty shootout which sent us to Cardiff. Expecting more good things from him this season.
Kerry Mayo (defender) Appearances: 37 (2) Goals: 0
Not a vintage season for the Ginger Prince, who lost his place to Dan Harding towards the end of the season after some indifferent form. Has me grinding my teeth with his distribution, in fact I think there is a possibilty he could be colour blind. Will have his work cut out to fight his way back into the team, but he’s the longest serving player at the club by a distance (and a veteran of the Horror of Hereford back in 97), so don’t rule him out yet. Likes the odd 30-yard pot shot, but goals from Kerry are rarer than white dog poo.
Dan Harding (defender) Appearances: 21 (9) Goals: 0
Started the season on the left wing, looked like a fish out of water, and disappeared back to the reserves for most of the season. Returned in Mayo’s left-back berth and has made the position his own with some stirling displays. Still learning, and can sometimes be caught out of position, but he’s quick and good in the tackle, and deserves to keep his place. I can’t recall him having so much as a sniff at goal though.
Adam El-Abd (defender) Appearances: 8 (5) Goals: 0
Despite having a name like a terrorist, Adam can count himself unlucky not to have featured more regularly in the team, as only the excellence of Virgo has kept him out of his right-back slot. Built like a tank, El-Abd is a solid, no-frills kind of player with a bear-trap tackle. Likely to be kept on the fringes unless injury or suspensions gives him his chance, he is excellent back-up and definitely one for the future.
Danny Cullip (defender) Appearances: 46 Goals: 1
Still the cornerstone of the team, captain, organiser, motivator, bollocker, and famed for hollering “lets have a winner” every time the opposition has a goal kick. Should probably score more than he does as he goes up for every corner, but still a tremendous player to have in the centre of the defence. The team sorely misses his leadership when he is absent, which thankfully isn’t often.
Guy Butters (defender) Appearances: 51 Goals: 3
Well, after all the stick he got this time last year for being a lazy fat git, and being put up for sale on Ebay for a fiver, Big Guy went and proved us all wrong and had an outstanding season in the centre of defence alongside DC, and was deservedly crowned Player of the Season. After previously looking as though he had a Space Hopper rammed up his shirt, he worked hard on his fitness, and only Leon made more appearances than him last season. Hats off to Guy, he’s proved himself to be a real asset to the team and even weighed in with a handful of goals. Top man.
Dean Blackwell (defender) Appearances: 0 Goals: 0
Out injured for the entire season last year, but we kindly kept him on the payroll anyway, and hopefully he will pay us back in some way this season once he gets fit again. An experienced, imposing central defender who forged an excellent partnership with DC the season before last, he would be more than useful backup to have this time round.
John Piercy (midfield) Appearances: 8 (20) Goals: 4
Talented but injury-prone winger, Piercy has never quite managed a sustained run in the side. There is always the feeling that he is capable of being a big player for us, but injuries have invariably cut short his time in the first team. Scored a couple of peaches from long range last season, and if he can stay fit he could be getting on for halfway decent. Possibly. But don’t quote me on that.
Richard Carpenter (midfield) Appearances: 48 (3) Goals: 6
Mr Reliable in the centre of midfield, Chippy had another good season last year and clocked in with his fair share of goals again. Good passer and makes the team tick – when he plays well then the team plays well. Always a threat from dead ball situations, and cracked a few home from open play as well. Good consistant performer.
Charlie Oatway (midfield) Appearances: 33 (2) Goals: 1
Dear old Charlie. He’s a bit crap really, but what he lacks in talent, he almost makes up for in sheer workrate and effort. A midfield terrier who likes to put his foot in. Does all the ugly things, puts himself about and generally tries to ruin whatever the other team is doing, which works to an extent. Apparently he’s a good player to have in the dressing room – hopefully he’ll spend most of the season there, as I don’t really think he can cut it at this level, and you’d certainly have to be brave (or daft) to pick him out for a Last Goal.
Gary Hart (midfield) Appearances: 41 (10) Goals: 3
Bit of a disappointing season for OGH (ooh Gary Hart). As usual he weighed in with plenty of appearances, but seemed to be going through the motions for much of the season, which for such a normally wholehearted player was a bit of a worry. Just the three goals from his usual position wide on the right, but again, as a former striker you’d expect a bit more from him in that department. Probably the best crosser of the ball at the club, but he really needs to regain his form of old to be any use in this division.
Nathan Jones (midfield) Appearances: 42 (3) Goals: 0
The flying welsh winger. I dunno, sometimes he can do some great things on the ball, but most of the time, if I’m honest, he is dross. He’ll have you out of your seat with a mazey, jinxing run through an entire defence, and then just as quickly have you slumped back in it as he bladders the ball 60ft over the bar (see appearances-to-goals ratio). His trademark jink over the ball never works any more, and he often does something cringeworthy like tripping over his own feet. He’ll work hard I suppose, but to very little effect. Some will say I’m being harsh, but its me who’s writing this, so I’ll say hat I want. He’s rubbish.
Paul Reid (midfield) Appearances: 6 (2) Goals: 0
Signed from Bradford towards the tail-end of last season for the run-in, this Aussie central midfielder is a steady if unspectacular player. Did a job for us and won’t be far away from the 1st team this season. Gets forward, has a bit more about him than Oatway, and could forge a useful partnership with Chippy in the middle this season. One to watch.
Simon Rodger (midfield) Appearances: 9 Goals: 0
Once again, a series of long-term injuries has left Simon on the sidelines throughout almost the whole of last season. When he plays, he gives us a nice balance on the left side of midfield, and he is capable of scoring from distance, but sadly he just cannot seem to shake off a persistant back injury. After suffering another relapse recently, he will not be ready for at least another two months. Recent reports have suggested he might be jacking it in if he can’t get fit this side of Christmas, which would be a real shame.
Leon Knight (striker) Appearances: 52 (1) Goals: 27
Our little pocket superstar, Leon delivered the goods last season and finished joint top-scorer in the division. A narky, moody little dwarf, he can be quite infuriating with his diving and play-acting, and as a result every other football fan in the entire League hates him. We don’t care though. His impressive goal ratio does slightly disguise the fact that since the turn of the year, he only actually scored three times in open play, with the rest being penalties (and he even cheats with them, with a cheeky shuffle before stirking the ball). However, he is quick and skilful and can be relied upon to score goals. I think he will thrive at this higher level, but we’ll have to wait to see him, cos he’s suspended for the first three games. Tch.
Chris McPhee (striker) Appearances: 22 (13) Goals: 9
Young striker who has greatly improved over the last 12 months, but I’m not sure he’ll play much of a part this season. Most of his appearances and goals were at the start of last season, but McGhee didn’t seem to rate him highly enough to leave him in the team, and Chris found himself on the bench more often than not as a series of strikers (Henderson, Benjamin, Iwelumo) were brought in on loan to play alongside Leon. He is also sidelined with a highly fashionable metatarsal injury at the moment, so don’t expect him to feature much at all even when fit, as McGhee is making no secret of his priorityfor bringing in new strikers at the moment.
Jake Robinson (striker) Appearances: 1 (10) Goals: 1
Promising young striker, but one who will probably find himself in the same boat as McPhee. At only 17 years of age, I can’t see him playing too often at this level, and will probably only be thrown into the first team as a last resort if we are cripplingly short of bodies to play. Hopefully he will get some more opportunities from the bench this season, but his inexperience will count against him at the moment.
Mahete Molango (striker) Appearances: 0 Goals: 0
Brand new signing from Athletico Madrid (reserves), he undoubtedly has the best name in the League. 6ft 2, young and quick, he looked extremely useful when I saw him play (and score twice) in a friendly against Crawley. He has also chalked up pre-season goals against Woking and Weymouth, and clearly did enough to convince McGhee to give him a 3 year contract. Lack of other options up front, particularly with Leons suspension and McPhee’s injury, will almost certainly see him pitched straight into the side for the opening match at Reading. Sink or swim ? I think we might have uncovered a diamond. Time will tell.
Best of the Rest
Dan Beck and Dean Hammond are a couple of young midfielders who have come up from the youth ranks to be on the fringes of the first team, and they might get a run-out from the bench occasionally this season, but I can’t see them playing a major role. David Lee is a more experienced midfielder who made a couple of apearances last season, but he really is quite dire so I don’t expect to see him much between now and next May either (at least I hope not). And that, ladies and gentlemen, is just about it. I will let you know of any new signings as and when they occur this side of the Big Kickoff.
Have I been fair
Paul Watson (defender) Appearances: 16 (1) Goals: 0
Sadly, Watto is a shadow of the player he once was. Previously famed for the devastating accuracy of his free kicks, he could usually have been relied upon to curl in at least a couple of goals during a season, but not any more. Marginalised last season by poor form, injury, and the emergence of Adam Virgo, Watson will probably provide some experienced back-up from the bench, but not much else.
Adam Virgo (defender) Appearances: 23 (2) Goals: 2
Given his wings by Mark McGhee in the second half of last season, Virgo has flourished. Some solid displays in the centre of defence and at full-back has proved his versatility, and he has come on leaps and bounds over the last 12 months. Has attained permanent cult-status for scoring the last gasp goal against Swindon in the Playoffs when all looked lost, and followed this up by crashing his penalty high into the roof of the net in the penalty shootout which sent us to Cardiff. Expecting more good things from him this season.
Kerry Mayo (defender) Appearances: 37 (2) Goals: 0
Not a vintage season for the Ginger Prince, who lost his place to Dan Harding towards the end of the season after some indifferent form. Has me grinding my teeth with his distribution, in fact I think there is a possibilty he could be colour blind. Will have his work cut out to fight his way back into the team, but he’s the longest serving player at the club by a distance (and a veteran of the Horror of Hereford back in 97), so don’t rule him out yet. Likes the odd 30-yard pot shot, but goals from Kerry are rarer than white dog poo.
Dan Harding (defender) Appearances: 21 (9) Goals: 0
Started the season on the left wing, looked like a fish out of water, and disappeared back to the reserves for most of the season. Returned in Mayo’s left-back berth and has made the position his own with some stirling displays. Still learning, and can sometimes be caught out of position, but he’s quick and good in the tackle, and deserves to keep his place. I can’t recall him having so much as a sniff at goal though.
Adam El-Abd (defender) Appearances: 8 (5) Goals: 0
Despite having a name like a terrorist, Adam can count himself unlucky not to have featured more regularly in the team, as only the excellence of Virgo has kept him out of his right-back slot. Built like a tank, El-Abd is a solid, no-frills kind of player with a bear-trap tackle. Likely to be kept on the fringes unless injury or suspensions gives him his chance, he is excellent back-up and definitely one for the future.
Danny Cullip (defender) Appearances: 46 Goals: 1
Still the cornerstone of the team, captain, organiser, motivator, bollocker, and famed for hollering “lets have a winner” every time the opposition has a goal kick. Should probably score more than he does as he goes up for every corner, but still a tremendous player to have in the centre of the defence. The team sorely misses his leadership when he is absent, which thankfully isn’t often.
Guy Butters (defender) Appearances: 51 Goals: 3
Well, after all the stick he got this time last year for being a lazy fat git, and being put up for sale on Ebay for a fiver, Big Guy went and proved us all wrong and had an outstanding season in the centre of defence alongside DC, and was deservedly crowned Player of the Season. After previously looking as though he had a Space Hopper rammed up his shirt, he worked hard on his fitness, and only Leon made more appearances than him last season. Hats off to Guy, he’s proved himself to be a real asset to the team and even weighed in with a handful of goals. Top man.
Dean Blackwell (defender) Appearances: 0 Goals: 0
Out injured for the entire season last year, but we kindly kept him on the payroll anyway, and hopefully he will pay us back in some way this season once he gets fit again. An experienced, imposing central defender who forged an excellent partnership with DC the season before last, he would be more than useful backup to have this time round.
John Piercy (midfield) Appearances: 8 (20) Goals: 4
Talented but injury-prone winger, Piercy has never quite managed a sustained run in the side. There is always the feeling that he is capable of being a big player for us, but injuries have invariably cut short his time in the first team. Scored a couple of peaches from long range last season, and if he can stay fit he could be getting on for halfway decent. Possibly. But don’t quote me on that.
Richard Carpenter (midfield) Appearances: 48 (3) Goals: 6
Mr Reliable in the centre of midfield, Chippy had another good season last year and clocked in with his fair share of goals again. Good passer and makes the team tick – when he plays well then the team plays well. Always a threat from dead ball situations, and cracked a few home from open play as well. Good consistant performer.
Charlie Oatway (midfield) Appearances: 33 (2) Goals: 1
Dear old Charlie. He’s a bit crap really, but what he lacks in talent, he almost makes up for in sheer workrate and effort. A midfield terrier who likes to put his foot in. Does all the ugly things, puts himself about and generally tries to ruin whatever the other team is doing, which works to an extent. Apparently he’s a good player to have in the dressing room – hopefully he’ll spend most of the season there, as I don’t really think he can cut it at this level, and you’d certainly have to be brave (or daft) to pick him out for a Last Goal.
Gary Hart (midfield) Appearances: 41 (10) Goals: 3
Bit of a disappointing season for OGH (ooh Gary Hart). As usual he weighed in with plenty of appearances, but seemed to be going through the motions for much of the season, which for such a normally wholehearted player was a bit of a worry. Just the three goals from his usual position wide on the right, but again, as a former striker you’d expect a bit more from him in that department. Probably the best crosser of the ball at the club, but he really needs to regain his form of old to be any use in this division.
Nathan Jones (midfield) Appearances: 42 (3) Goals: 0
The flying welsh winger. I dunno, sometimes he can do some great things on the ball, but most of the time, if I’m honest, he is dross. He’ll have you out of your seat with a mazey, jinxing run through an entire defence, and then just as quickly have you slumped back in it as he bladders the ball 60ft over the bar (see appearances-to-goals ratio). His trademark jink over the ball never works any more, and he often does something cringeworthy like tripping over his own feet. He’ll work hard I suppose, but to very little effect. Some will say I’m being harsh, but its me who’s writing this, so I’ll say hat I want. He’s rubbish.
Paul Reid (midfield) Appearances: 6 (2) Goals: 0
Signed from Bradford towards the tail-end of last season for the run-in, this Aussie central midfielder is a steady if unspectacular player. Did a job for us and won’t be far away from the 1st team this season. Gets forward, has a bit more about him than Oatway, and could forge a useful partnership with Chippy in the middle this season. One to watch.
Simon Rodger (midfield) Appearances: 9 Goals: 0
Once again, a series of long-term injuries has left Simon on the sidelines throughout almost the whole of last season. When he plays, he gives us a nice balance on the left side of midfield, and he is capable of scoring from distance, but sadly he just cannot seem to shake off a persistant back injury. After suffering another relapse recently, he will not be ready for at least another two months. Recent reports have suggested he might be jacking it in if he can’t get fit this side of Christmas, which would be a real shame.
Leon Knight (striker) Appearances: 52 (1) Goals: 27
Our little pocket superstar, Leon delivered the goods last season and finished joint top-scorer in the division. A narky, moody little dwarf, he can be quite infuriating with his diving and play-acting, and as a result every other football fan in the entire League hates him. We don’t care though. His impressive goal ratio does slightly disguise the fact that since the turn of the year, he only actually scored three times in open play, with the rest being penalties (and he even cheats with them, with a cheeky shuffle before stirking the ball). However, he is quick and skilful and can be relied upon to score goals. I think he will thrive at this higher level, but we’ll have to wait to see him, cos he’s suspended for the first three games. Tch.
Chris McPhee (striker) Appearances: 22 (13) Goals: 9
Young striker who has greatly improved over the last 12 months, but I’m not sure he’ll play much of a part this season. Most of his appearances and goals were at the start of last season, but McGhee didn’t seem to rate him highly enough to leave him in the team, and Chris found himself on the bench more often than not as a series of strikers (Henderson, Benjamin, Iwelumo) were brought in on loan to play alongside Leon. He is also sidelined with a highly fashionable metatarsal injury at the moment, so don’t expect him to feature much at all even when fit, as McGhee is making no secret of his priorityfor bringing in new strikers at the moment.
Jake Robinson (striker) Appearances: 1 (10) Goals: 1
Promising young striker, but one who will probably find himself in the same boat as McPhee. At only 17 years of age, I can’t see him playing too often at this level, and will probably only be thrown into the first team as a last resort if we are cripplingly short of bodies to play. Hopefully he will get some more opportunities from the bench this season, but his inexperience will count against him at the moment.
Mahete Molango (striker) Appearances: 0 Goals: 0
Brand new signing from Athletico Madrid (reserves), he undoubtedly has the best name in the League. 6ft 2, young and quick, he looked extremely useful when I saw him play (and score twice) in a friendly against Crawley. He has also chalked up pre-season goals against Woking and Weymouth, and clearly did enough to convince McGhee to give him a 3 year contract. Lack of other options up front, particularly with Leons suspension and McPhee’s injury, will almost certainly see him pitched straight into the side for the opening match at Reading. Sink or swim ? I think we might have uncovered a diamond. Time will tell.
Best of the Rest
Dan Beck and Dean Hammond are a couple of young midfielders who have come up from the youth ranks to be on the fringes of the first team, and they might get a run-out from the bench occasionally this season, but I can’t see them playing a major role. David Lee is a more experienced midfielder who made a couple of apearances last season, but he really is quite dire so I don’t expect to see him much between now and next May either (at least I hope not). And that, ladies and gentlemen, is just about it. I will let you know of any new signings as and when they occur this side of the Big Kickoff.
Fair ? No
