A Thread full of Joke du Jours

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Why are there no aspirins in the jungle?
Cos the paracetamol

 

[Brighton Breezy]

Why did the rapping lion get lost?
Cos jungle is massive

 

[Scotty Mac]

whats black, white and red all over?

a penguin with sunburn

 

[Cantona's Flying Dropkick]

I always thought Parlarse were a joke anyway.

 

[Scotty Mac]

 

[Dancin Ninja BHA]

Who do two gays settled an arguement?

They go outside and exchange blows!

(Thats more ammo for all those fans who think ALL Brighton fans are gay!!)

 

[Dancin Ninja BHA]

Messed that one up, should read HOW, not WHO!

Dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh

 

[Shizuoka Dolphin]

Did you hear about the woman with no legs who won the strawberry picking contest?


Jammy c*nt.

 

[desprateseagull]

2 peanuts were walking down the road

and one was assaulted....

 

[DTES]

An Englishman, A Scottishman and an Irishman walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke?"

 

[desprateseagull]

a woman walks into a bar...

and asks for a double entendre..

so the barman gave her one.

 

[JEM]

A guy walks into a shop and says, "20 Benson & Hedges, please"
Assistant: "You're Irish, aren't you?"
Guy: "Yes, I am. How did you tell? My accent?"
Assistant: "No. This is a fish & chip shop"

 

[bhaexpress]

Two bags of vomit were walking down the street and one turns to the other and says 'Do you know I was brought up down that alley ?'

 

[Harvey]

What's black, white and red?

A nun chewing a razor blade.

 

[More Palace in Sussex tha]

Yeah like them boys extremely funny (the one about the lack of trophies is a tad rich though isn't it?!)

 

[pevenseagull is spartacus]

I had a curry last night

A Tarka Masala

its a bit like a tikka but Otter

(probably only makes sense to the over 30s)

 

[Bwian]

Woman gets a job as a trainee M.O.T. tester. "Right" says the old mechanic, "we'll start off with something easy by checking the rear left indicator". "What's one of them"? she says. "The orange coloured light-now, is it working"?

Yes....no...yes...no....

I'll get me overalls!

 

[Tom Bombadil]

I had a curry last night

A Tarka Masala

its a bit like a tikka but Otter

(probably only makes sense to the over 30s)

I prefer this version

Customer : What's Tarka Dhal?

Waiter : It's like normal Dhal, only Otter.

 

[Vinyl Richie]

A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins,

it was a turtle disaster

 

[Vinyl Richie]

2 elephants fall out of a tree.....boom boom