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A Thread full of Joke du Jours
- Thread starter bob monkhouse
- Start date
Reading Posh
Sophisticated rhetorician
Seagullsgonnagetya
Member
Pallarrsse are Great joke
Top Bombing Wozza...Top Bombing....
Top Bombing Wozza...Top Bombing....
BrightonBird
New member
Another oldy, but cracks me up all the time.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
.
.
.
.
.
Wiped his arse!
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
.
.
.
.
.
Wiped his arse!
Seagullible
Super Keeper
always liked this advise...
Never pick on a dwarf with learning difficulties
It's not big and its not clever!
Taxi
Never pick on a dwarf with learning difficulties
It's not big and its not clever!
Taxi
Reading Posh
Sophisticated rhetorician
What's the difference between Barry Fry and a snap together Airfix Model?
One is a glueless kit.............
One is a glueless kit.............
watsongooal
New member
The canibal joke had me in stitches, told evryone at work and no-one found is funny. Miserable bastards
BrightonBird
New member
watsongooal said:The canibal joke had me in stitches, told evryone at work and no-one found is funny. Miserable bastards
well it only appeals to those with a wierd sense of humour. It cracks me up all the time
MRRF 10
New member
Ali G's Sister is pregnant and has a car accident. She falls into a
deep
coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is
no
longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl.
The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them." The woman
thinks to herself, Oh no, not my brother... he is an idiot!'
Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well what's the girl's
name?"
"Denise," the doctor says.The new mother thinks, 'Wow, that's not a bad
name ! I
guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!'
Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"
The doctor replies, "Denephew."
Ypu might have read it on Dwayne baiting, but no-ones gone there recently.
deep
coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is
no
longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl.
The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them." The woman
thinks to herself, Oh no, not my brother... he is an idiot!'
Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well what's the girl's
name?"
"Denise," the doctor says.The new mother thinks, 'Wow, that's not a bad
name ! I
guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!'
Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"
The doctor replies, "Denephew."
Ypu might have read it on Dwayne baiting, but no-ones gone there recently.
MRRF 10
New member
Subject: Dead rabbit....
A man was driving along a highway when he saw a rabbit
jump out in the
middle
of the road in front of him. He swerved to avoid
hitting it, but
unfortunately the rabbit jumped right in front of the
car.
The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal
lover, pulled over and got
out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his
dismay, the rabbit was
dead. The driver felt so awful that he began to cry.
A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway saw
the man crying by the
side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of
her car and asked the
man what was wrong.
"I feel terrible!" he explained, between sobs. "I
accidentally hit this poor
little rabbit and killed it."
The blonde said, "Don't worry." She ran to her car and
pulled out a spray
can. Walking over to the limp, dead rabbit, she bent
down and sprayed the
contents onto the rabbit.
The rabbit suddenly revived, jumped up, waved its paw
at the two of them and
hopped rapidly off down the road.
Ten feet away the rabbit stopped, turned around and
waved again. He hopped
down the road another 10 feet, turned and waved,
hopped another ten feet,
turned and waved, and repeated this again, and again,
and again, until he
had
hopped completely out of sight. The man was
astonished.
He ran over to the woman and demanded, "WHAT is in
that can?? WHAT did you
spray on that rabbit??"
The woman turned the can around so that the man could
read the label. The
label said........
(Are you ready for this?)
(Are you SURE?)
(This is BAD!)
(It's not even a Blonde Joke!)
(You know you could just click off and not read the
punch line....)
(You can STILL delete it!!)
(You KNOW you're gonna be sorry!!)
(Last chance......)
(OK, here it is......)
It said, "Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair,
adds permanent wave."
A man was driving along a highway when he saw a rabbit
jump out in the
middle
of the road in front of him. He swerved to avoid
hitting it, but
unfortunately the rabbit jumped right in front of the
car.
The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal
lover, pulled over and got
out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his
dismay, the rabbit was
dead. The driver felt so awful that he began to cry.
A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway saw
the man crying by the
side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of
her car and asked the
man what was wrong.
"I feel terrible!" he explained, between sobs. "I
accidentally hit this poor
little rabbit and killed it."
The blonde said, "Don't worry." She ran to her car and
pulled out a spray
can. Walking over to the limp, dead rabbit, she bent
down and sprayed the
contents onto the rabbit.
The rabbit suddenly revived, jumped up, waved its paw
at the two of them and
hopped rapidly off down the road.
Ten feet away the rabbit stopped, turned around and
waved again. He hopped
down the road another 10 feet, turned and waved,
hopped another ten feet,
turned and waved, and repeated this again, and again,
and again, until he
had
hopped completely out of sight. The man was
astonished.
He ran over to the woman and demanded, "WHAT is in
that can?? WHAT did you
spray on that rabbit??"
The woman turned the can around so that the man could
read the label. The
label said........
(Are you ready for this?)
(Are you SURE?)
(This is BAD!)
(It's not even a Blonde Joke!)
(You know you could just click off and not read the
punch line....)
(You can STILL delete it!!)
(You KNOW you're gonna be sorry!!)
(Last chance......)
(OK, here it is......)
It said, "Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair,
adds permanent wave."
MRRF 10
New member
why is it when i post, everyone else stops going there?
Brightonfan1983
Well-known member
Safeway Seagull said:
I don't get this..is it an in-joke?
Lush
Mods' Pet
It's Ena Sharples hairnet on Blackpool Beach
MRRF 10
New member
it's tumbleweed, i think, it looks like what my cat coughs up
watsongooal
New member
Joke
A dwarf with a lisp goes into a stud farm.
'I'd like to buy a horth' he says to the owner of the farm.
'What sort of horse?', said the owner.
'A female horth,' the dwarf replies.
So the owner shows him a mare.
'Nithe horth,' says the dwarf, 'can I thee her eyth?"
So the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses eyes. 'Nith
eyth', says the dwarf, 'can I thee her teeth?'
Again the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses teeth.
'Nith teeth, can I see her eerth?' the dwarf says.
By now the owner is getting a little fed up but, once again, the owner
picks up the dwarf to show him the horses ears.
'Nith eerth,' he says 'now can I see her twot?'
With this the owner picks the dwarf up and shoves his head deep inside
the horses v*g*na. He holds him there for a second before pulling him
out and putting him down.
The dwarf shakes his head and says 'Perhaps I should weefwaze that. Can
I see her wun awound?'
A dwarf with a lisp goes into a stud farm.
'I'd like to buy a horth' he says to the owner of the farm.
'What sort of horse?', said the owner.
'A female horth,' the dwarf replies.
So the owner shows him a mare.
'Nithe horth,' says the dwarf, 'can I thee her eyth?"
So the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses eyes. 'Nith
eyth', says the dwarf, 'can I thee her teeth?'
Again the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses teeth.
'Nith teeth, can I see her eerth?' the dwarf says.
By now the owner is getting a little fed up but, once again, the owner
picks up the dwarf to show him the horses ears.
'Nith eerth,' he says 'now can I see her twot?'
With this the owner picks the dwarf up and shoves his head deep inside
the horses v*g*na. He holds him there for a second before pulling him
out and putting him down.
The dwarf shakes his head and says 'Perhaps I should weefwaze that. Can
I see her wun awound?'