byf
New member
YOUR ALL SICK WHAT THE HELLS THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE!
I DONT BELIEVE WHAT IM READING.
YOU SHOULD ALL BE BANNED!
*sob* *sob*
I DONT BELIEVE WHAT IM READING.
YOU SHOULD ALL BE BANNED!
*sob* *sob*
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A Thread full of Joke du Jours
- Thread starter bob monkhouse
- Start date
A little girl is eating a cake and standing next to her father, who is sitting in a barbers chair having a haircut.
The hairdresser smiles at her and says,
"Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin."
"I know," she replies, " And I'm going to get boobs too."
The hairdresser smiles at her and says,
"Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin."
"I know," she replies, " And I'm going to get boobs too."
- Jul 7, 2003
- 47,272
Chesney Christ
New member
ChapmansThe Saviour said:What's the best thing about shagging 28 year olds?
There's twenty of them...
That one doesn't work in print. Funny joke though - I laughed like a twat the first time I heard it.
MRRF 10
New member
Pevenseagull
Anti-greed coalition
- Jul 20, 2003
- 19,850
Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
because they're not his
because they're not his
Todays joke
A young lad and his sister are walking through south Croydon, when suddenly he spots a Brighton Shirt in a shop window.
I want that shirt he says to his sister, I want to support Brighton.
His sister immediately smacks him on the head and says you can't do that all our family support Palarse, if you don't believe me ask mum.
When they get home the lad ask's his mum, Can I have a Brighton shirt as I want to support Brighton.
His mum immediately smacks him on the head and says you can't do that you little shit, all our family support Palarse....we are Palarse through and through, if you don't believe me you should talk to your father.
The lad goes straight to his father and asks the same question.
With that his father beats the crap out of him and explains the error of his ways..............finally his father says, now have you learn't anything from this.
Yes says the lad Iv'e only been a Brighton supporter for an hour and I really hate you Palace scum.
A young lad and his sister are walking through south Croydon, when suddenly he spots a Brighton Shirt in a shop window.
I want that shirt he says to his sister, I want to support Brighton.
His sister immediately smacks him on the head and says you can't do that all our family support Palarse, if you don't believe me ask mum.
When they get home the lad ask's his mum, Can I have a Brighton shirt as I want to support Brighton.
His mum immediately smacks him on the head and says you can't do that you little shit, all our family support Palarse....we are Palarse through and through, if you don't believe me you should talk to your father.
The lad goes straight to his father and asks the same question.
With that his father beats the crap out of him and explains the error of his ways..............finally his father says, now have you learn't anything from this.
Yes says the lad Iv'e only been a Brighton supporter for an hour and I really hate you Palace scum.
Seagullsgonnagetya
Member
Snow White arrived home one evening to find her home destroyed by fire. She was especially worried because she'd left all seven dwarves asleep inside. As she scrambled among the wreckage, frantically calling their names, suddenly she heard the cry: "Palace for Promotion."
"Thank goodness," sobbed Snow White. "At least Dopey's still alive!"
"Thank goodness," sobbed Snow White. "At least Dopey's still alive!"
REDLAND
Active member
Ok, changing the subject from Palace to Michael Jackson:
What do Michael Jackson and whiskey have in common?
..................................................................................................
................................. They both come in tots!
What do Michael Jackson and whiskey have in common?
..................................................................................................
................................. They both come in tots!
Icy Gull
Back on the rollercoaster
- Jul 5, 2003
- 72,015
Any better jokes out there?
A blind man enters a lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender in a loud voice, "Hey bartender, you wanna hear a dumb blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls deathly quiet.
In a deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that
joke, sir, I think it is just fair, given that you are blind, that you
should know five things...
One: The bartender is a blonde woman.
Two: The bouncer is a blonde woman.
Three: The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
Four: The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler
Five: I'm a 6-foot, 200 pound blonde woman with a Ph.D., a black belt in karate, and a very bad attitude!
"Now, think about it seriously, mister. Do you still want to tell that
joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second or two, shakes his head and says: "Nah. I think it would be better if I didn't , I don't want have to explain it five times."
A blind man enters a lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender in a loud voice, "Hey bartender, you wanna hear a dumb blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls deathly quiet.
In a deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that
joke, sir, I think it is just fair, given that you are blind, that you
should know five things...
One: The bartender is a blonde woman.
Two: The bouncer is a blonde woman.
Three: The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
Four: The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler
Five: I'm a 6-foot, 200 pound blonde woman with a Ph.D., a black belt in karate, and a very bad attitude!
"Now, think about it seriously, mister. Do you still want to tell that
joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second or two, shakes his head and says: "Nah. I think it would be better if I didn't , I don't want have to explain it five times."
Tom Hark Preston Park
Will Post For Cash
- Jul 6, 2003
- 70,703
Heard about the Spanish fireman who named his two sons Jose and Hose B
Taxi to the airport! Pronto!
Taxi to the airport! Pronto!
Vinyl Richie
New member
Tom Hark said:Heard about the Spanish fireman who named his two sons Jose and Hose B
Taxi to the airport! Pronto!
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to family in Spain, they name im Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
Northstander
Well-known member
- Oct 13, 2003
- 14,028
Crap Joke Du Jour
Two Parrots are sat on a perch,
One says to the other " I can smell fish...can you...?"
.....I already got me coat and gone.....
Two Parrots are sat on a perch,
One says to the other " I can smell fish...can you...?"
.....I already got me coat and gone.....