A Thread full of Joke du Jours

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JAMC

Active member
Jul 5, 2003
1,328
Actually I once knew a deaf girl from down the pub. She didn't like me much because I accidently set her dog on fire in the pool room.
:nono:
 


Reminds me of the one about the couple on their honeymoon. The guy has a wooden leg which he has kept from her until now. On their wedding night he says "Close your eyes darling because I've got a surprise for you." She closes her eyes and he takes off his wooden leg and moves her hand onto his stump.

"Well, darling. What do you think of that?" he asks.

"Well, that is a surprise" she says. "But pass me the vaseline and I'll see what I can do."

:lolol:
 




Danny Seagull's Mate

Babe of the Year 2003
Sep 28, 2003
286
Woodingdean
The Great Cornholio said:
Reminds me of the one about the couple on their honeymoon. The guy has a wooden leg which he has kept from her until now. On their wedding night he says "Close your eyes darling because I've got a surprise for you." She closes her eyes and he takes off his wooden leg and moves her hand onto his stump.

"Well, darling. What do you think of that?" he asks.

"Well, that is a surprise" she says. "But pass me the vaseline and I'll see what I can do."

:lolol:


:lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol:
 








Superphil

Dismember
Jul 7, 2003
25,475
In a pile of football shirts
Fatbadger, you're right, what are we doing wasting our time on this thread, it's a tissue of lies
 












bhaexpress

New member
Jul 7, 2003
27,627
Kent
"I'd like two pork chops" said the woman to her butcher.

"And make them lean" she said.

"Yes madam, which way" said the butcher.
 
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Biscuit

Native Creative
Jul 8, 2003
22,240
Brighton
Ferrari imploy Scousers!

Ferrari Formula 1 Team have announced that they have fired their entire Pit Crew yesterday. The action followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British Government's 'Work For The Dole' Scheme and hire unemployed youths from Liverpool.

The decision was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed Scousers were able to remove a set of car wheels in less than 6 seconds with just apair of mole grips each, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech gear.

This was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Ferrari's management.

As most F1 races are won and lost in thr pits, Ferrari are seen to now have a massive advantage over every other team. However they got more than they bargained for during the Scouse Crew's first practise session.

Not only were they able to change the tyres in under 6 seconds but within 12 seconds they had resprayed, rebadged, and sold the vehicle to the McLaren Team for four dozen cans of Special Brew, a gram of Coke and a quick shuffty at Couthard's bird in the shower.




I'll get my coat...
 




Beach Hut

Brighton Bhuna Boy
Jul 5, 2003
72,077
Living In a Box
Pretty old hat - you deserve to get your coat for that
 










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