Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊
A Thread full of Joke du Jours
- Thread starter bob monkhouse
- Start date
Joke de jour
An Australian family of rugby supporters heads out one Saturday to do their Christmas shopping. While in the sports shop the son picks up an England rugby shirt and says to his sister, "I've decided to be a Pommie supporter and I would like this for Christmas".
His sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to your mother".
Off goes the little lad with the England Rugby shirt in hand and finds his mother. "Mum?"
"Yes son?".
"I've decided I'm going to be a Pommie supporter and I would like this shirt for Christmas" The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him around the head and says, "Go talk to your father".
Off he goes with the rugby shirt in hand and finds his father. "Dad?"
"Yes son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be a Pommie supporter and I would like this shirt for Christmas" The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"
About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home. The father turns to his son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today?"
The son says, "Yes dad I have."
"Good son, what is it?"
The son replies, "I've only been a Pommie supporter for an hour and I already hate you Aussie b*stards."
An Australian family of rugby supporters heads out one Saturday to do their Christmas shopping. While in the sports shop the son picks up an England rugby shirt and says to his sister, "I've decided to be a Pommie supporter and I would like this for Christmas".
His sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to your mother".
Off goes the little lad with the England Rugby shirt in hand and finds his mother. "Mum?"
"Yes son?".
"I've decided I'm going to be a Pommie supporter and I would like this shirt for Christmas" The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him around the head and says, "Go talk to your father".
Off he goes with the rugby shirt in hand and finds his father. "Dad?"
"Yes son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be a Pommie supporter and I would like this shirt for Christmas" The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"
About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home. The father turns to his son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today?"
The son says, "Yes dad I have."
"Good son, what is it?"
The son replies, "I've only been a Pommie supporter for an hour and I already hate you Aussie b*stards."
Last edited:
Robot Chicken
Seriously?
LOL! 
oneboot
Member
Nice one. I hope one of many Aussie jokes to come.
NMH
Banned
Nice !
MRRF 10
New member
I don't like it,
No i love it
No i love it
Pevenseagull
Anti-greed coalition
- Jul 20, 2003
- 19,849
I don't get it
A joke for Wednesday
Little Brucie was in his junior school class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up; fireman, policeman, salesman, politician. Brucie was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go outwith a man, rent a cheap room and let them sleep with him."
The teacher hurriedly set the other children to work on some colouring and then took Little Brucie aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," said Brucie, "My father plays rugby for Australia, but I was just too embarrassed to say".
Little Brucie was in his junior school class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up; fireman, policeman, salesman, politician. Brucie was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go outwith a man, rent a cheap room and let them sleep with him."
The teacher hurriedly set the other children to work on some colouring and then took Little Brucie aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," said Brucie, "My father plays rugby for Australia, but I was just too embarrassed to say".
Braders
Abi Fletchers Gimpboy
a bloke loses his ears in a freak accident, takes it to court and gets a large settlement ,so decides to start up his own company , he searches far and wide for staff
he is extremely sensitive about losing his ears
so he starts talking the interviews
he asks the first person 'do you notice anything wierd about me' wannabe employee 'yes you have no ears'
they didn't get the job
so he trys again with the next person,asking the same question 'do you notice anything weird about me'
'yes you have no ears'
they didn't get the job
by this time he was getting pissed off
so he trys again asking' do you notice anything weird about me '
'yes you wear contact lenses'
'yes right how do you know'
'well you can't wear glasses can you'
he is extremely sensitive about losing his ears
so he starts talking the interviews
he asks the first person 'do you notice anything wierd about me' wannabe employee 'yes you have no ears'
they didn't get the job
so he trys again with the next person,asking the same question 'do you notice anything weird about me'
'yes you have no ears'
they didn't get the job
by this time he was getting pissed off
so he trys again asking' do you notice anything weird about me '
'yes you wear contact lenses'
'yes right how do you know'
'well you can't wear glasses can you'
Brady's Old Lady
New member
A man walks into the doctors with a Frog growing out of his head. "What seems to be the problem?" says the doctor. "Well it all started with this pimple on my arse!" says the frog!
Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Re: Joke for Weds afternoon
Bloody marvellous Trotster...I love it when NSC makes me LOL.Trotster said:A man marries a deaf girl - he says 'we must work out a code': If i want sex, ill stroke your left breast' - You reply by pulling my penis - Once for Yes or fifty times for No!!!
Marshy
Well-known member
Very old that one ! Sorry
Set of Tracksuits
Active member
A man emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed,when his wife complained, as usual, "I have a headache". "Perfect," the bloke said.
"I was just in the bathroom powdering my dick with aspirin.
You can take it orally or as a suppository, it's up to you".
"I was just in the bathroom powdering my dick with aspirin.
You can take it orally or as a suppository, it's up to you".
FG aka Football Genius.
New member
- Nov 3, 2003
- 1,029
also repeated more than once on here also repeated more than once on here
quality from set of tracksuits !