A DUCK walks into a bar...
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Superphil
Dismember
One of it's legs is both the same
bhaexpress
New member
He's too young to drink so he's up before the beak tomorrow. His solicitor hasn't met him so he'll wing his defence. He's still a wanker though.
He's a she.
Terrible con-duck-t.
bhaexpress
New member
Don't duck the issue, he/she has a fowl personality and is bird brained, the worse thing was that the duck was drinking Famous Grouse.
Superphil
Dismember
and askes Ho-sin my seat?
Yes m'lard.
fork me
I have changed this
Surely that should be "yes mallard"
Tom Hark Preston Park
Will Post For Cash
- Jul 6, 2003
- 74,404
and goes OUCH! It was an iron bar.
The Sock of Poskett
The best is yet to come (spoiler alert)
- Jun 12, 2009
- 2,873
Man goes in a pub. Once upon a time you could only get crisps ...
Lindfield by the Pond
Well-known member
..................... says "got any bread"?
Barman says "no sorry".
Duck says "Oh, ... got any bread"?
Barman says "No, sorry mate, just said no".
Duck says "Oh, ... got any bread"?
Barman says "Look mate, I've just said I havn't got any bread. If you ask me one more time if I have any bread, I'm going to nail your f***ing beak to the bar - right"?
Duck abit shocked with the aggressive tone says "Oh err, ... got any nails"?
Barman says "ARRRRGGHHH.............No, now f*** off"
Duck says "got any bread"?
Barman says "no sorry".
Duck says "Oh, ... got any bread"?
Barman says "No, sorry mate, just said no".
Duck says "Oh, ... got any bread"?
Barman says "Look mate, I've just said I havn't got any bread. If you ask me one more time if I have any bread, I'm going to nail your f***ing beak to the bar - right"?
Duck abit shocked with the aggressive tone says "Oh err, ... got any nails"?
Barman says "ARRRRGGHHH.............No, now f*** off"
Duck says "got any bread"?
NMH
Banned
She was only a Mandarin's daughter
but she couldn't keep her eider down
It was a good pint, ail was flowing freely but when the barman asked her plum age she had no merganser and coot not prove, nor show any id eider, she a grebe to leave.
She was wigeon she could drink all afterloon, teal the sun went down. Nobody knows waddle happen beak ause of this, or wader she'll have a hangover the next moorhen.
but she couldn't keep her eider down
It was a good pint, ail was flowing freely but when the barman asked her plum age she had no merganser and coot not prove, nor show any id eider, she a grebe to leave.
She was wigeon she could drink all afterloon, teal the sun went down. Nobody knows waddle happen beak ause of this, or wader she'll have a hangover the next moorhen.