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[Humour] The continued drop in English language standards.



Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
50,444
Faversham
I can't stand the word literally.

It's either used wrongly...

"My jaw literally hit the floor."

...or else it's used for no reason.

"When they rang me I was literally just coming through the door."

In what way is literally just coming through the door any different to just coming through the door?

It distinguishes between locomotion and m***********.
 




DavidinSouthampton

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jan 3, 2012
16,617
I do some peer review for science journals. I sent a paper back to the authors recently inviting them to pay for some native English speaker proofreading before resubmitting the revised manuscript. Then I noticed that a native English speaking pal of mine was one of the co-authors. FFS. Putting your name to a 'scholarly' work without actually reading it? ??? :shrug:

Anyway, for the next month, the volume of illiterate shudder-inducing piffle on NSC is likely to fall by 50%, while old droopy serves his ban :lolol:

More insidious than poor grammar, however, is grotesque misuse of words. 'Literally' is a good one. 'I was literally over the moon'. Private Eye published a memorable one years ago: 'The audience were literally glued to their seats and electrified'. I would have paid good money to have seen that.

The one example that actually does grind my gears is 'how significant (e.g., do you think the Prime Minister's announcement was?)'. In my job, something can be biologically significant or statistically significant, each of which is judged on a binary basis. 'a bit significant, very significant and more significant' are meaningless concepts, as silly as a bit dead, very dead and more dead. Significant does not mean 'big'. FFS.

This is probably unfair to engineers, but when I was at Uni (mid 1970s) it was often jokingly said: "Three years ago I couldn't even spell engineer. Now I are one!"

And Mrs DiS often gets cross at people qualifying the word "unique". It can't be very unique. It's either unique or it's not.
 


Dr Bandler

Well-known member
Dec 17, 2005
545
Peterborough
I can't stand the word literally.

It's either used wrongly...

"My jaw literally hit the floor."

...or else it's used for no reason.

"When they rang me I was literally just coming through the door."

In what way is literally just coming through the door any different to just coming through the door?

I did chuckle at the football commentator who said that "the crowd literally blew the roof off the stadium". I loved the image that conjured.
 


Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
50,444
Faversham
English is a living language, and it “misuse” and bendabilty is what makes it such a beautiful, joyful language. Just my foughts, innit.

Taking something that's correct and changing it into something that is wrong (the defuse/diffuse example someone gave is apposite) does not exemplify a living language. It exemplifies degeneracy. Fact.
 


PILTDOWN MAN

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Sep 15, 2004
18,722
Hurst Green
The use of goals annoys me. Normally northerners when they mean the singular. Thick, thats wot they is.
 




Icy Gull

Back on the rollercoaster
Jul 5, 2003
72,015
Sentences that start with “So”. It seems just about everyone does it now when answering a question....and it’s fecking annoying. Don’t bother quoting me and starting your explanation with “So” either :guns:

Where the feck did this come from ?
 




Swansman

Pro-peace
May 13, 2019
22,320
Sweden
I can't stand the word literally.

It's either used wrongly...

"My jaw literally hit the floor."

...or else it's used for no reason.

"When they rang me I was literally just coming through the door."

In what way is literally just coming through the door any different to just coming through the door?

I think that a few years ago they (The Correct Language Powers) expanded the definition of "literally" to include "figuratively". Obviously complete bananas and a sign of mad, devilish times, but a change forced by the people who refused to understand the original difference. Anyway, this means saying "literally" when you mean "figuratively" is now "technically" correct.

About the deteoriation of language correctness in general, I thought as a teenager that we were going downhill. I was comparing what my friends and people in general wrote with the stuff in books and papers etc. But as the old people found out about the Internet, they were even worse. I think that the common perception that people are getting worse at spelling and grammar probably could be something of a myth - probably a lot have always been shit, only difference being that nowadays so much communication go through text so it becomes more obvious.

As for the English language I'm also annoyed with the "could of" thing, and I only see native English speakers make that mistake, oddly enough.

Something I've noticed both here and around the web is that the grammar/spelling police never point out when I mix UK & American English (which happens a lot since I'm both a victim of American cultural imperialization and English footy imperialisation). Is this generally done correctly by you UK folks, or are the kids of today saying "game" instead of "match" etc?
 






Dec 29, 2011
8,030
I am saddened at that loss of the humble adverb. The 'ly' is lost forever. I cheer if I listen to an interview (especially a footballer) who uses one correctly...... He did brilliant. NO!!!! NO!!!! bangs head loud(ly) on table... just NO!!!!

This is one of my main ones too. Most obvious when people use 'good' instead of 'well'.

All the lads played good today, I can't fault them :facepalm:
 


matumaini

Active member
Feb 25, 2018
195
When to use "them" and "those" whilst listening to talk sport is extremely embarrassing. Presenters and guests use these words incorrectly. Repeat culprits.

Sent from my Power using Tapatalk
 




RossyG

Well-known member
Dec 20, 2014
2,630
Stonewall penalty does my head in. An expression football pundits seemingly pulled out of their arse (literally! :moo:) and now parroted by idiots.
 








Icy Gull

Back on the rollercoaster
Jul 5, 2003
72,015
How are you?

“I’m good.”

I didn’t ask for a character reference.

But even worse is when you ask someone how they are and they then tell you in great and boring detail :smile:
 


PTC Gull

Micky Mouse country.
NSC Patron
Apr 17, 2017
1,208
Florida
Continued or continuous ? continued suggests it started stopped and restarted.

I am usually a bit crap with less and fewer and not always spot on with I and Me.

Pet hates;
1 Degrees of uniqueness, especially very unique.
2 Bored of is used so frequently it is almost the accepted norm, rather than bored with.
3 Superexcited - this one requires a no holds barred blanket immigration ban.

I am at a company where the staff are predominately younger and being in USA we have a large use of "Super" usually followed by "excited or pumped"
All thrown into sentences that have "like" as every other word. FFS. :facepalm:
Another one that gets me is the use of a name to illustrate other people doing or being part of the same thing. Example "we have the Murreys, the Ryans, the Dickers" etc.
 


Super Steve Earle

Well-known member
Feb 23, 2009
8,386
North of Brighton
I would like to add menus with adjectives preceding the content. Examples might include:

Bill's lovely pork sausages.
Fred's tasty cheese and onion pie.

I'll decide if my food is lovely or tasty, not the menu writer/cafe proprietor.
 


DavidinSouthampton

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jan 3, 2012
16,617
But even worse is when you ask someone how they are and they then tell you in great and boring detail :smile:

I went to a conference a number of years ago where a South African Bishop talked about this. In his culture, if he asked you how you were and you said fine, and he found out later that you weren't, he would actually mind - almost be offended. The reason for that would be that it was a serious question, he was interested in the answer and he would be concerned and sympathetic if you were not OK.

So maybe the moral is if you don't want the answer, don't ask the question...…… while accepting it is a throw-away line most of the time.
 






black & white seagull

Active member
Aug 29, 2003
460
Brighton
I am saddened at that loss of the humble adverb. The 'ly' is lost forever. I cheer if I listen to an interview (especially a footballer) who uses one correctly...... He did brilliant. NO!!!! NO!!!! bangs head loud(ly) on table... just NO!!!!

I noticed a magazine on the shelves in a shop the other day. It was called Eat Healthy. I nearly kicked the stand over in rage.
 


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