View Poll Results: Hardest Beast?

217. You may not vote on this poll
  • Wolverine

    107 49.31%
  • Salt Water Crocodile

    110 50.69%
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  1. #1
    Members Garry Nelson's Left Foot's Avatar
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    Jul 2003

    WHC IX: The FINAL***

    3 Not allowed!
    Welcome to the Animal Dome!

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    We're here for the finale of the world's biggest and greatest annual sporting event: the World's Hardest Creature. And what a final we have for you! Two beasts who have given everything animally possible through the group stages and three knockout rounds. They are at the pinnacle of animal achievement but only one can reach the summit of Mount Hard as ****castle Animaldom, only one can be Neil Armstrong while the other has to settle for being a beast version of Buzz Aldrin, only one can be declared the World's Hardest Creature 2016. Who will it be? We'll find out soon enough but first lets be upstanding for this years anthem.

    With the sad passing of David Bowie, a man who was an avid supporter of the WHC from it's inception in 2007, it is only fitting that this year the most vaunted trophy in the world is called The Diamond Dogs Animal Bowl, and so, let us take a moment to think about the animals that have fallen so that the Wolverine and Salt Water Crocodile could be here, as we listen to the 2016 WHC anthem, Diamond Dogs

    Now, lets meet the two incredible beasts who will be competing for the ultimate title in world sports:


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    WHC IX performance:

    Semi final: Beat Grasshopper Mouse 70 - 57
    Quarter final: Beat Hippo 54 - 47
    2nd round: Beat Mantis Shrimp 67-40
    Group B: 1st 30 votes (28.3%)

    Wolverine is appearing in his first ever WHC final and he's taken possibly the hardest ever route to get here seeing off three former champions in the opening three rounds and then the popular and ferocious Grasshopper Mouse in the semi final. The Animal Dome can be an intimidating venue so he'll need to draw on all the battle hardening experience he's gained in the previous rounds. He believes he is ready to take the final step to world conquering glory. And when you see what he's bringing physically and mentally to the battle it's easy to understand not just his confidence but how he's been able to knock out three previous champs(an unmatched performance in the history of the competition). So what exactly is he bringing?

    First, he's bringing A.T.T.I.T.U.D.E. This fella is a mean and nasty and aggressive Son of a Bitch. He will bring the fight to anyone and anything regardless of his opponents size. You're a bear? So effing what?! He's still going to go for you.

    What's he going to go for you with? Strength and power. He's a small beast but abnormally powerful with a strength disproportionate to his diminutive stature. His forelegs are enlarged rocks of bulging muscle, his claws are sharp sharp sharp as are the teeth within his powerful maw which he uses to shred the carcasses of his victims down to the bone.

    What if you run away? Ha, good luck! This little bugger can swim well so don't think crossing a river will save you. He can climb trees to so there's no respite for you there. He can even smell you under twenty feet of snow and will relish digging done through the snow until he can reach and kill you.


    Salt Water Crocodile

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    WHC IX performance:

    Semi final: Beat Malayan Sun Bear 74 - 55
    Quarter final: Beat Siberian Tiger 77-75
    Second round: beat Grizzly Bear 37-23
    Group D: 1st 41 votes(35.04%)

    The Salt Water Crocodile is a nailed on future hall of famer and is one win away from becoming the only beast other than the Polar Bear to successfully defend his title. Yep, that's right, his title. The S.W.C is the reigning champion and is competing in a record breaking fifth final. He is the most illustrious and decorated active competitor in the tournament. It's easy to see why when you take a look at what he's got going for himself:

    *Outlasted the dinosaurs.
    *Can lose a limb(or its tail) and still be a deadly killing machine.
    *Has the most powerful bite pound for pound of any beast(it's even more powerful than the estimated bite force of a T-Rex. A T-Rex!)
    *Has his own patented killing move: The Death Roll.
    *Will fight anything(including swimming miles out to sea to have a go at sharks).
    *Can fight and kill on land or in water.

    Is this enough to see off the challenge of Wolverine?

    NSC, it is time to decide. Bring your arguments, your facts, your photos, your videos and...

    Last edited by Garry Nelson's Left Foot; 08-02-2016 at 15:54.


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