Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊

Register Log in

Bell Cheeses at work



Badger

Badger

NOT the Honey Badger
NSC Patron
May 8, 2007
12,811
Toronto
Barham's tash said:
Unashamedly stolen from the excellent mumsnet madness twitter feed:

a316405172bf861d218fd05a18e1a9f3.jpg


What other **** fest ideas have your bosses dreamt up to deliver cohesive team building?
Click to expand...

That really is full David Brent. Who the f*** even brings a guitar to work? Let alone buying one for everyone else.

BhW4E0AIQAATTYz.jpg
 




jakarta

jakarta

Well-known member
May 25, 2007
15,639
Sullington
With all the Politics Crap / Crap Politics threads dominating at present, it is nice to be reminded of what the purpose of NSC is TRUELY about...:thumbsup:
 


T

Templeton Peck

Faceman
Jul 15, 2009
107
Brighton
Doing some freelance stuff for a Marketing Company at the moment compiling client data.

They don't think my laptop is secure enough for the spreadsheet full of data they want me to e-mail them over, so they have sent me one of theirs to use. My laptop is 4 years old but everything is up to date Anti-Virus/Spyware wise and OS wise. Theirs is running Windows XP and they want me to login via Internet Explorer on it to to access Outlook Web Edition.

I'm not even going to argue with them based on previous experiences with them.
 


B-right-on

B-right-on

Living the dream
Apr 23, 2015
6,205
Shoreham Beaaaach
Got a lad (30) been working for me for a few years now. Comes out with some classics:

Asked me what is the capital of Paris.

I mentioned Hungary and he said "Thats in Germany isn't it"

Another time I was talking about the derivation of a word and said that it was from Latin. He said "That's in South America isn't it". When I looked at him all confused, he said "Well it's called Latin America".

Yoof of today :ffsparr:
 


G

Gwylan

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
31,372
Uffern
Barham's tash said:
What other **** fest ideas have your bosses dreamt up to deliver cohesive team building?
Click to expand...

We had a HR manager who tried to implement a clean desk policy. She thought the best way to do this was to award a Golden Bin Bag to the team with the messiest desks. It backfired spectacularly as teams outdid each other in trying to win the prize. She scrapped the idea after two months.
 






Murray 17

Murray 17

Well-known member
Jul 6, 2003
2,159
B-right-on said:
Got a lad (30) been working for me for a few years now. Comes out with some classics:

Asked me what is the capital of Paris.

I mentioned Hungary and he said "Thats in Germany isn't it"

Another time I was talking about the derivation of a word and said that it was from Latin. He said "That's in South America isn't it". When I looked at him all confused, he said "Well it's called Latin America".

Yoof of today :ffsparr:
Click to expand...
Have you suggested they apply for the next series of 'The Apprentice'?

Sent from my SM-G900F using Tapatalk
 






A1X

A1X

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Sep 1, 2017
18,042
Deepest, darkest Sussex
At the moment we seem to have run out of space in the office and so a load of people who turn up for a few days then bugger off again have started showing up in the desks around ours. One of them has decided to go out at lunchtime and bring back a curry every day and eat it at his desk. I'm not normally one to complain about food at desks or even hot food within reason, but this is FISH curry, so absolutely stinks. There's a perfectly good canteen area he could use, but chooses to sit at his desk. Not for any reason either, he doesn't log in, just sits there checking his phone.

And don't get me started on the one who whistles all day...
 


T

timbha

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
9,963
Sussex
A1X said:
At the moment we seem to have run out of space in the office and so a load of people who turn up for a few days then bugger off again have started showing up in the desks around ours. One of them has decided to go out at lunchtime and bring back a curry every day and eat it at his desk. I'm not normally one to complain about food at desks or even hot food within reason, but this is FISH curry, so absolutely stinks. There's a perfectly good canteen area he could use, but chooses to sit at his desk. Not for any reason either, he doesn't log in, just sits there checking his phone.

And don't get me started on the one who whistles all day...
Click to expand...


You can’t post this and sign off leaving us dangling. Have you said anything to the curry eater yet? Started a petition? Written to HR/People/Personnel/other?

What tune is the whistler whistling?

Update by end of Friday please.
 


Easy 10

Easy 10

Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Jul 5, 2003
61,812
Location Location
Quite apart from the horrifically antisocial nature of eating a fish curry at work - who the HELL has a FISH CURRY ??

:sick:
 






Iggle Piggle

Iggle Piggle

Well-known member
Sep 3, 2010
5,395
Our Implementation team have a 4hr window to complete some customer critical work this evening starting at 6.

At 18.01, they have just knobbed off for a cup of tea and the bloke in charge is posting on here. My colleague, in a show of solidarity and support has just started singing 'Sacked in the morning' repeatedly.
 


Sheebo

Sheebo

Well-known member
Jul 13, 2003
29,297
A1X said:
At the moment we seem to have run out of space in the office and so a load of people who turn up for a few days then bugger off again have started showing up in the desks around ours. One of them has decided to go out at lunchtime and bring back a curry every day and eat it at his desk. I'm not normally one to complain about food at desks or even hot food within reason, but this is FISH curry, so absolutely stinks. There's a perfectly good canteen area he could use, but chooses to sit at his desk. Not for any reason either, he doesn't log in, just sits there checking his phone.

And don't get me started on the one who whistles all day...
Click to expand...

timbha said:
You can’t post this and sign off leaving us dangling. Have you said anything to the curry eater yet? Started a petition? Written to HR/People/Personnel/other?

What tune is the whistler whistling?

Update by end of Friday please.
Click to expand...

Whistling is a pet hate of mine at work - and singing. It’s so distracting for my tiny mind. My mate is the worst offender. He doesn’t just whistle naturally, he really performs it and concentrated on it. Emmerdale farm is one of his performances - just get in everyone’s head. So annoying!
 




Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
50,647
Faversham
sheebo said:
Whistling is a pet hate of mine at work - and singing. It’s so distracting for my tiny mind. My mate is the worst offender. He doesn’t just whistle naturally, he really performs it and concentrated on it. Emmerdale farm is one of his performances - just get in everyone’s head. So annoying!
Click to expand...

So pleased I have my own office.

Pleased, mostly, for the poor fekkers who don't have to share my space and suffer my swearing, chuckling and otherwise emoting about the asinine and inane *****bollocks shitehoutse rubbish memos and half-baked meaningless unimplementable diktats I get in my email.

And in the real world....we had a high level meeting today about what to do about plagiarism (by students). Yes, you guessed, we could not agree on how to define plagiarism, how to identify it, how to prosecute it, how to convict it, how to punish it or how to mitigate against it. The finest brains of a Russell Group uni. No surprise *we* can't get Brexit Done :facepalm:
 




S

Sirnormangall

Well-known member
Sep 21, 2017
2,982
Iggle Piggle said:
Our Implementation team have a 4hr window to complete some customer critical work this evening starting at 6.

At 18.01, they have just knobbed off for a cup of tea and the bloke in charge is posting on here. My colleague, in a show of solidarity and support has just started singing 'Sacked in the morning' repeatedly.
Click to expand...

Their 4 hour window has just ended..........did they achieve it? ( roll of drums.........)
 






Brok

Brok

😐
Dec 26, 2011
4,364
The company were holding interviews for a new office girl. The first candidate was asked "Can you perform under pressure?"

She replied "I don't know. But I can do a bloody good Bohemian Rhapsody"
 


Badger

Badger

NOT the Honey Badger
NSC Patron
May 8, 2007
12,811
Toronto
A guy in my team started talking to himself this morning. I asked him why,* and his response was that he liked working in pairs but there wasn't anyone else to work with so he was working with himself. I don't even know what that means. Now I'm starting to wonder if he's schizophrenic. He said he'd try and be quiet, but of course he started doing it again 2 minutes later.





* Real meaning: "shut the f*** up"
 


You must log in or register to reply here.

Share this page

Albion and Premier League latest from Sky Sports


Top
Link Here