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I give up. I used to enjoy NSC cricket threads, but this is ****wittery of the highest order. I'm out of here.

Grim. 300-8

:nono:

Burns gone for 133 (312 balls, 17 fours) :clap: Bounce and turn for Lyons. 296-6, leading by 12

until you get ****ing Shane Warne gobbing off :nono:

England 287-5, take a first innings lead, mid-morning on day three, with 5 wickets in hand :clap2: Burns 127* Bairstow 5* Time to make them grovel [emoji106]

Ben Stokes 50* :clap2: England 282-4, trailing by 2

I am setting off for the Amex now... hopefully it will be just that when I check again in about an hour's time... come on BIG BEN :thumbsup:

That went well then :nono: JC Buttler c Bancroft b Cummins 5 (10b 1x4 0x6) 194-4 (65.4 overs), trailing by 90

Denly out... looked plumb and there is no review JL Denly lbw b Pattinson 18 (36b 3x4 0x6) 189-3

Cheating Aussies get the 60 overs old ball changed... and it's HOOPING :nono:

:nono:

Tea, Day Two England 170-2 (56 overs), trailing by 114 Burns 82* Denly 9* (who just played the shot of the day through the covers) Another good session for England, without getting away from Australia... 27 overs, 99 runs, 1 wicket

**** me, you really are a miserable old sod :nono:

Root... drives softly straight back to Siddle who grabs it with one hand :nono: JE Root c & b Siddle 57 (119b 6x4 0x6) 154-2 (50 overs), trailing by 130

Joe Root 53* (110 balls, 6 fours) :clap2: His 42nd in Test cricket, with 16 hundreds. England 148-1 (47.1 overs), trailing by 136

31 runs (out of 74) behind square on the off side, just 12 in front.

:wrong:

100 partnership for Burns 65* and Root 38* (34.2 overs, RR2.91) :clap2: England 122-1 (41.4 overs), trailing by 162

It is starting to sound like a football crowd... and it's only Friday afternoon :facepalm: ".... long to reign over YOU"