This is a complete random shout but...
Brian Stock from Doncaster.
Known for his play making, good awareness, good vision and decent pasing ability. He's 30 years old so he's got a fair amount of experience, Welsh international and a star player at Doncaster, I think he'd fit the bill...
It's football, anything could happen.
If it did happen then we'd have the last laugh and they'd look like complete bellends.
It does seem a little bit like bollocks but if it happened then I'd be extremely happy :)