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You laugh at me I have you reprogrammed.

You no tell me what is funny, I have box set of every series of My Family.

You leave off bushy, he speak truth, like I do at Camp Kim Jung Nige. I must go, time to buy tonight's winning lottery ticket.

You lay off bushy, I like him. You work for me at the Kim Jung Nige Bowl, you can see how people are one, now you can see how I, Kim Jung Nige, get things done. As well as football we have stadium tours every morning, where my devoted subjects can tell me how great I am, and public executions...

We sell rice chips, you fail. You need reprogramming at labour camp for five years.

We have hookers in PyongPang who offer same. They give it to me for free of course.

Catering at the Kim Jung Nige Dome is fantastic, when you approach kiosk petals are scattered at your feet. There is limitless choice of food, so long as it is rice, and I am the only FOUR star Michelin chef (self taught of couse) who make the angels cry with quality of my cuisine. I also have...

We report victory of Team Nige to fans who no go to game. Lucky we have no electricity in Southampton yet, (we no need it as powered by my benevolence) so they believe all I say. Next week we in Champions League, we win, we win, we win. I off now to split the atom, have a cup of tea and a...

My ground much better than you, my team much better than you. I would have come on and score double hat trick in injury time but I was too busy giving heart transplant to our defender after Greer try kill him. You lucky capitalist lickspittles, we have good goal not given, I show on Channel...